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RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 2:17:29 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
Omg, y'all..once the hubby and myself were picking out japanamation movies. Well he let me pick. And I saw this awesome looking movie that said " violence that may offend others". But I didn't see the next line that said "rape, nudity,etc" (a.d.d.). So we get home and put it in and of course we find out that I have pick out a porn, instead of something like ninja scroll. He laughed, so do be careful, not all cartoons are for kids. Lol

On the subject of our flounce, I love the grumpy cat pic, that's about right.

And for Dark Feather: " whooooooa, when I say whoa, I mean WHOA!"

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 2:57:02 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

Bah, Sailor Moon is tame. Good thing she didn't try to buy Revolutionary Girl Utena. But me personally, I find girls pulling swords out of other girls pretty hot



I agree Sailor moon is tame.
However, not for a child her daughter's age.
Her daughter saw the American cartoon and assumed the Japanese version was the same. She insisted that she knew about it more than I did and that as a store owner I should remember a customer was always right. Lol

So, I let her order it.

When she got it and I refused to refund her she tried to go to the city council and tell them I was selling pornography to children. I had a security camera that recorded our entire conversation but she didn't know that. *smh*

She came out looking like a jack ass and owing me money for slandering me and my business in the community.

_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
http://www.kinkbomb.com/studio/Sadistic_Babygirl_

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 3:07:11 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: carmenelektra

I am new here and have experienced some ugly bull from a user, stuff not having to do with any lifestyle here

there should be a peer review here, is this the place, if a user is a complete mean jerk, we should be able to discuss them, if we have negative experiences, that is much more important to know then any positive experience.

there has to be a forum for this topic and I do not see it,

so what about the people here whose intent is just to harass and be mean, the people who take ones pics and tells you they will post them everywhere on the web to be an jerk.

seems like this is very important topic that seems off limits, is it, or is it not.




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< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/1/2013 3:12:02 PM >

(in reply to carmenelektra)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 4:18:20 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Omg, y'all..once the hubby and myself were picking out japanamation movies. Well he let me pick. And I saw this awesome looking movie that said " violence that may offend others". But I didn't see the next line that said "rape, nudity,etc" (a.d.d.). So we get home and put it in and of course we find out that I have pick out a porn, instead of something like ninja scroll. He laughed, so do be careful, not all cartoons are for kids. Lol

On the subject of our flounce, I love the grumpy cat pic, that's about right.

And for Dark Feather: " whooooooa, when I say whoa, I mean WHOA!"


Giddiyap. Come on camel, giddiyap... Giddiyap... When I say giddiyap, I mean Giddiyap!" *WHAM*

Ah Yosemite Sam, the roughest, toughest, rootinest, shootinest claim-jumper that ever jumped a claim

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 4:23:42 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
Hahahahahahaha!

And to Ron, hahaha as well.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 4:46:02 PM   
TwoHeartsBeatOne


Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: carmenelektra

I am new here and have experienced some ugly bull from a user, stuff not having to do with any lifestyle here

there should be a peer review here, is this the place, if a user is a complete mean jerk, we should be able to discuss them, if we have negative experiences, that is much more important to know then any positive experience.

there has to be a forum for this topic and I do not see it,

so what about the people here whose intent is just to harass and be mean, the people who take ones pics and tells you they will post them everywhere on the web to be an jerk.

seems like this is very important topic that seems off limits, is it, or is it not.




Hi carmenelektra,

To answer your original question/assertion...

I'm sorry that you were hurt. It happens to all of us. The internet is a part of our lives now and just like every other part of life... there is no protection from "bad" people.

Except... the part we do control - the way we choose to attach meaning to our experiences. Here's what helps me keep my own "happy" in the face of some undeserved, vile behavior flung my way:

1) Take action. Roll eyes, block, hide, delete... and if appropriate... report. While doing this, say to myself, "At least I get to walk away. LOL That person doesn't get to avoid their own presence!"

2) Honor your feelings. If "they" hit a nerve... I give myself a minute to just feel plain old angry with them. That's my minute. I think of anger in the same way I think of pain, or fear - they are signals that I need to take care of myself in some way. That may mean adjusting my own behavior or thoughts in such a way as to restore my own peace of mind. In short... choose boundaries or limits or standards that take better care of me. I cannot control others, but I can control the labels I give to experiences. So, I focus on that.

3) Yes, write about it if that helps you. This part requires a bit of creativity, or none. I've deleted a journal entry after keeping it up for a month. It made me feel better to post it and when the scales tipped from "I care about this" to "let that crap disappear into the past," I removed it. All I did was copy and paste the email the liar sent me, replaced his name with [signature], and responded to it, point by point. That does not violate terms of service. I doubt anyone cared about it except me, but I count and my choice of how to react satisfied me.

4) There is a thread here for emails that are, shall we say, "precious." You simply cannot identify the person by name. (I think it's under "Humor," but that doesn't mean the emails are cute - it means we laugh at the writer.) Many of us have found that the same temper tantrums were repeated and sent out to many. You'd be surprised how easy it becomes to recognize who it is. This option also offers a chance to express empathy towards others who have also been hurt unjustly. It's empowering. :)

5) Meet people in real life. That is another avenue where "gossip," the old faithful of communication, flourishes. It's a small world and these people that are so hurtful become known, reviled and excluded.

6) Accept that we are in someone else's "house" here on CM. It's a group, with a leader and that person has earned the right to set rules that protect CM. That's not like a friend who might stick up for me. That's me visiting a stranger's house and respecting their right to set their rules under their roof.

I am always free to do the same in my own house - and I do. If a suggestion is made by a guest in my home about how I can improve my home, that's cool. If a suggestion is made by a guest in my home about how I can improve my home AND I still have to accept legal and/or financial responsibility for that improvement, I expect the person who makes the suggestion to defer to my decision. They are free to like it, or not: to stay or to leave. Even if it is not a good decision I've made, it's my home and I get to make mistakes in my own home. I am the only one responsible for my home.

So, you see, it's not that you are wrong to feel hurt. It's not that you shouldn't stick up for yourself. It's not that others haven't thought or felt what you assert.

It's that the solution you suggest is not a new idea - it's simply an ineffective one. Anyone who has been in the position of having to judge between two opposing "stories" can attest to the fallibility of getting that right every time.

Personally, I do not even know who owns CM, but I know I have no right to compel them to please me in any way.

I can almost hear you... "but, if they did it my way, it would be better." Obviously, CM disagrees that the solution you suggest is better for them. Again, we are visitors in CM's house.

Lastly, other newbies have faced the ire of message board posters AND they found that showing that they needed over 100 posts to get that there just may be something they aren't seeing, that they disagree but will think about it AND expressed gratitude for the time and attention given their question or position... has the power to turn contention into understanding and a chance to begin anew.

That power is yours to access if you so choose.

Again, this thread experience offers you a choice in how to proceed from here. Like others have told you... not a great beginning... most beginnings do NOT go smoothly. Not everyone will like you, accept you or appreciate you. Join the club, you know?

Be well.


_____________________________

"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anaïs Nin

(in reply to carmenelektra)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 4:46:43 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline
And to think, we have evolved from "telegram for Mr. Foghorn" to tentacle rape

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 5:05:24 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
Hahaha!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 5:19:35 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

Here's my favorite, gotta love child labor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0bOH8ABpco


I love that movie, thanks for the link

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 6:07:33 PM   
TwoHeartsBeatOne


Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline
This is the thread where others share negative experiences in a way that respects the terms of service:

"Funny Messages From the "Other Side."

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4267202/tm.htm


_____________________________

"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anaïs Nin

(in reply to carmenelektra)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 6:13:41 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
Exactly.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 7:56:39 PM   
TwoHeartsBeatOne


Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline
Thank you, TNDommeK, for the response.

I actually read all 145 posts before I wrote my reply. I saw that carmen more or less did the snap fingers - talk to the hand, kind of exit many posts back, but I remembered... maybe a few weeks ago... been busy, not sure, a man who also seemed stuck and angrily stomped away. But then, later, he came back. I still feel so happy that he tried again. I can honestly say that I felt a tidal wave of pure bliss wash over me as the formerly ticked off posters completely changed towards him as he showed he was struggling. Who of us hasn't gotten stuck in being dead wrong? I feel so very lucky to be able to toss around points of view here with such big-hearted and intelligent people.

So, I said my peace in hopes that carmen may also have such an experience. And, after reading 145 posts... LOL, and thinking about what's been said (much of which, I reiterated), well, I just had something to say. :)

So, thanks for the acknowledgement. I wasn't expecting any so it's a delightful surprise.

(smiles) - the power of one word! :)

_____________________________

"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anaïs Nin

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 8:14:17 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline
and sprinkles (see other thread for the reference)

(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 9:00:53 PM   
TwoHeartsBeatOne


Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

and sprinkles (see other thread for the reference)


LOL, okay, I was going to ask these things anyway, so now seems like a good time... I can be all-out, clueless in one post! :)

Which other thread? The one I posted for Funny Messages... or carmen's other thread or ?

Do you happen to know what "crumbs" means? I'm assuming that one is a Hansel and Gretel thing.

Is there a listing of sorts to learn what the "letters" mean? Such as... using one I do know... YMMV - your mileage may vary.

_____________________________

"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anaïs Nin

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 9:13:45 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne


quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

and sprinkles (see other thread for the reference)


LOL, okay, I was going to ask these things anyway, so now seems like a good time... I can be all-out, clueless in one post! :)

Which other thread? The one I posted for Funny Messages... or carmen's other thread or ?

Do you happen to know what "crumbs" means? I'm assuming that one is a Hansel and Gretel thing.

Is there a listing of sorts to learn what the "letters" mean? Such as... using one I do know... YMMV - your mileage may vary.


Confucius say, there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers... or was that a fortune cookie. Never mind, the sprinkes came from an inane comment I made here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4368466/tm.htm. Without context, I would indeed go with the Hansel and Gretel thang, as logic would dictate. As for acronyms, I personally think they should be abolished and transgressors be put to the stake . Mainly because your meaning for YMMV may be completely different from my meaning for YMMV. but if I just typed out "your milage may vary", there would be no issues... But hey, if I ran the country, it would be a frightning place... mmm, sprinkles...

(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 9:19:05 PM   
TwoHeartsBeatOne


Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline
Thank you! (but... when I clicked the link, it said, "Page cannot be found."

Sooooo, Darkfeather... now I'm feeling a bit like this:

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow! LOL

C'mon, mercy, mercy! What does "sprinkles" mean?

_____________________________

"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anaïs Nin

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 9:23:16 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Thank you! (but... when I clicked the link, it said, "Page cannot be found."

Sooooo, Darkfeather... now I'm feeling a bit like this:

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow! LOL

C'mon, mercy, mercy! What does "sprinkles" mean?


Yeah, that because it added the period in the link, try this http://www.collarchat.com/m_4368466/tm.htm
take that html programmin! Turkey in suspense, turkey in suspense, I just don't know... cover one of it's eyes and read it russian poetry?

(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 9:34:58 PM   
TwoHeartsBeatOne


Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline
LOL, Thank you! Darkfeather. The link you sent on the other side did work. Sometimes CM seems to have glitches...

Yes, I see... and concur - everything IS better with sprinkles!

_____________________________

"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anaïs Nin

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 9:38:37 PM   
TwoHeartsBeatOne


Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather


quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Thank you! (but... when I clicked the link, it said, "Page cannot be found."

Sooooo, Darkfeather... now I'm feeling a bit like this:

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow! LOL

C'mon, mercy, mercy! What does "sprinkles" mean?


Yeah, that because it added the period in the link, try this http://www.collarchat.com/m_4368466/tm.htm
take that html programmin! Turkey in suspense, turkey in suspense, I just don't know... cover one of it's eyes and read it russian poetry?


Thank you for the laughs!

Hmmm, Russian turkey.... OR this - Chicken in suspension?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa3eC02delM


< Message edited by TwoHeartsBeatOne -- 2/1/2013 9:39:55 PM >


_____________________________

"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anaïs Nin

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: what about negative experiences - 2/1/2013 9:48:58 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather


quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Thank you! (but... when I clicked the link, it said, "Page cannot be found."

Sooooo, Darkfeather... now I'm feeling a bit like this:

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow! LOL

C'mon, mercy, mercy! What does "sprinkles" mean?


Yeah, that because it added the period in the link, try this http://www.collarchat.com/m_4368466/tm.htm
take that html programmin! Turkey in suspense, turkey in suspense, I just don't know... cover one of it's eyes and read it russian poetry?


Thank you for the laughs!

Hmmm, Russian turkey.... OR this - Chicken in suspension?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa3eC02delM



Makes you wonder, do russian chickens gobble in... russian. But kink in food isn't old, we truss up beef and turkeys, beat into submission veal and pork. Hell, some even stitch close a breast with needle and twine

(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)
Profile   Post #: 160
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