RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/6/2013 9:27:09 PM

littlewonder

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The dom can do the same thing.

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/7/2013 11:53:39 AM

WankingTroll

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I would love to be raped by a woman. I know I know I know....if you want to be raped it isn't rape.....can't rape the willing....blah blah blah.

Still.

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/7/2013 12:12:17 PM

Hillwilliam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Akrotiri

Aren't all men rapists anyway?

Animals are.

No and No, they aren't.

Who gave you such ignorant, backward ideas?

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/7/2013 12:40:12 PM

ARIES83

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Huh, I missed that one, I'm not sure what the hell
that comment is supposed to mean...

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/7/2013 12:48:56 PM

Hillwilliam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

Huh, I missed that one, I'm not sure what the hell
that comment is supposed to mean...

I think he was trolling.

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/7/2013 5:40:33 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

So, where are your boundaries when it comes to consensual non-consent? Do you equate removing consent for distress to be non-submissive?

This reminded me of when an adored play partner I had about 10 years ago was teaching me to box. He hit me in the nose, which awoke the long-buried memory of being non-consensually hit there by the man I was living with when I was 18. So even though none of the other punches J landed or other pain he caused me had this effect, this punch did trigger something, and I burst into tears. We of course stopped the session and he comforted me.

I tell new partners that I like to be slapped in the face, but that this is psychologically intense, and to please give me time to process the slaps. I love "slap.........slap," but "slap, slap, slap" makes me cry.

So, you never know when a trigger is going to be tripped, and I wouldn't feel safe playing with someone who had the attitude of the OP who inspired this thread.

I'm not comfortable calling it rape play, but my (now ex) husband and I had lots of fun playing Kidnap & Torture and I have done similar (while not as elaborate) with others I knew well and trusted. So while it's something I enjoy, I'd be turned off by someone who featured it on his profile or brought it up before we had been playing together for some time.

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/7/2013 11:08:14 PM

Etruscano

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WankingTroll

I would love to be raped by a woman. I know I know I know....if you want to be raped it isn't rape.....can't rape the willing....blah blah blah.

Still.

Would you want to be raped by a woman with a very large strapon?

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/7/2013 11:58:04 PM

Duskypearls

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WankingTroll

I would love to be raped by a woman. I know I know I know....if you want to be raped it isn't rape.....can't rape the willing....blah blah blah.

Still.

That's right...makes me remember something a wise person once told me..."So help me I'll rape you." "So rape me I'll help you!

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/8/2013 1:15:00 AM

MariaB

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I don't think its about being submissive or not submissive enough.

Steve and me have fooled around with the 'rape game'. Being taken by force or wanting to sometimes be taken by force doesn't make me submissive, it just makes me kinky. If I fight, scratch, bite and punch him as well as spit at him and curse him, would that, could that ever be deemed as submissive?
The game stops if I get frightened. Fear is a big issue when it comes to this sort of play and fear can be so consuming, it takes over everything.

I would never question a submissives submission based on fear.

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/8/2013 2:23:43 AM

leonine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Akrotiri

Aren't all men rapists anyway?

Animals are.

If you watch carefully, most animals, even when their sex looks violent and abusive, begin by the female giving acceptance signals: then the male can get as "rapist" as he likes. A bit like us, really.

Most situations that are really forced occur in unnatural conditions in captivity. There's a reason some farmers call the frames fertile sows are put in "rape pens."

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/8/2013 2:42:24 AM

leonine

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Between close BDSM partners who know each other's signals, I think it's normal to blur the boundaries of consent. When she's fit enough, thir loves to fight me and be overpowered and beaten into surrender.

In every long term D/s relationship I've had, there's been a point where I've told the sub she no longer has a safeword. Not meaning that I no longer care if I'm going to far, but that we no longer need formal safety precautions. It's the BDSM equivalent of being close enough not to use condoms any more. And by the same token, I feel people who don't use safewords with strangers are in the same class as people who don't use barriers with strangers. It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt.

Role-playing non-consent with strangers is risky enough even with safewords. People can get too scared or confused to safeword, or just be screaming too hard. Choosing to do without even that safeguard is a disaster about to happen.

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/8/2013 8:21:02 AM

JeffBC

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Well stated.

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/8/2013 7:36:45 PM

DesFIP

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He stops if he hits a trigger. But it's no fun for him if all I want to do is run away from him and hide. He feeds on the energy I produce during a scene. If it's negative energy, then it's like eating food that's gone off.

And, to be honest, he doesn't want to have to spend the next six months getting me back to normal. Which has happened in the past.

As far as the post that started this, there's so much wrong I have trouble knowing where to start. But him being married and wanting to do this at her place because he can't pay for a hotel room as his wife would know. And her buying the clothes he's going to rip or cut off because his wife would know if he bought it. Wow, just wow.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 2/8/2013 7:41:00 PM >

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/13/2013 3:15:57 PM

fuzzybear590

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Well there's a lot to think about throughout this thread. CNC and rape play . I have done both and solely in my opinion from my limited experience and knowledge . CNC is not quite as severe as slavery but not any more or less than being submissive . In as much as as a slaves use is at its owners discretion whereas the submissive has the ability of choice in its actions. Hard limits etc.

Rape play when I have done it is a negotiated scene and I preferred to have the "victim" have a full understanding of what should and could be expected as a result as this is an "extreme" form of play. There really has to be a certain level of trust between both parties. Rape charges are nothing to trifle with and the penalties are more than I am willing to go through after a change of heart.

Either way I wouldn't play this way casually with some I barely know. And by getting to know I mean check their profiles on any kink site out there , what connection and or involvement do they have with their local BDSM community are they willing to go to a clinic and get tested ( STDs drugs background ) . What is the motivation as there are nuts out there that can't don't and won't differentiate between rape play (legal and kinky ) and the polar opposite as defined by any form of Legislation.

Just a thought or two .

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/13/2013 5:40:09 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Being taken by force or wanting to sometimes be taken by force doesn't make me submissive, it just makes me kinky.

I don't even think it makes one "kinky." Wanting that is soooooo common it's unbelievable. All the "vanilla" bodice-ripper novels have this element. I think it's rarer to find those who don't want some element of this than those who do and people are more open about it than ever now with the whole ""50 Shades" thing.............luci

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/13/2013 10:44:15 PM

Greta75

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I think my x-dom was very clear in rape plays that it was suppose to be fun and not real for me. If fear creeps in and it's getting too real for me, I must scream out my safe word.
And I had used it in the past when it got too violent. Especially when you're fighting and beating someone into submission, playing it really rough.
I don't think the idea of rape is submission, it's more like playing non-consensual submission.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/13/2013 10:45:09 PM >

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/14/2013 10:51:19 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

So, where are your boundaries when it comes to consensual non-consent? Do you equate removing consent for distress to be non-submissive?

Do I consider it to be non-submissive? No
Do I consider it to be a manipulative measure? Yes

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/15/2013 7:43:39 AM

xssve

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quote:

So, where are your boundaries when it comes to consensual non-consent? Do you equate removing consent for distress to be non-submissive?

Concern for your own health and physical well being is not "non-submissive", it's prudent - if it's your psychological state you're concerned about it's something you might need to work through - and I say that because I think rape fantasy is more of a female thing than a male thing - in our fantasies, you all can't wait to jump on us - but it's more complicated for women, the cultural consensus is a very mixed bag, even vanilla wise, ranging from passive acceptance to outright rejection of male sexual aggression, the healthy medium that would be positive w/regards the female libido - just the average vanilla thing, dating mainly, is itself too far for a lot of people, i.e., the whole Sanda Fluke incident, so a rape fantasy for a woman may not be about rape at all, but merely a desire to express ones sexuality freely, without all the heavy moral baggage associated with it.

These thoughts however, don't always pop into your head in the moment of course, it's probably mostly hormones and chutzpah, and it's not uncommon for a woman to get second thought about it right in the middle - women often get second thoughts about sex period right in the middle (it is a theoretically much more risky proposition for them in general) when the mind does catch up.

Anyway, that might fuck up a scene, yes, but personally, I don't think having thoughts, emotions and feelings of your own makes you less submissive, it makes you human.

It's a subject I think about on and off, rape actually comes form the Latin, raptio, from which we also derive rapture, it's basically flirting with the Dionysian limn, as opposed to more controlled Apollonian courtship ritual.

< Message edited by xssve -- 2/15/2013 7:44:07 AM >

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/15/2013 8:32:56 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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quote:

So, where are your boundaries when it comes to consensual non-consent? Do you equate removing consent for distress to be non-submissive?

This is the only type of play we indulge in that we use safewords -- and we've been together almost 15 years now.

Even if you know someone extremely well, you can still hit a nasty emotional trigger.

This guy sounds like a fantasy driven, emotionally unavailable internet douchcanoe, of which there are too many.

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RE: Consensual non-consent or rape play - 2/15/2013 9:27:46 AM

Dyfrynt

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I have had experiences with subs who would not stop me from doing anything I desired. I have had subs where we have had a very specific, extended checklist of what is appropriate and what is not.

None of my experiences have been one night stands though. All have been extended relationships. To the point that the woman knows me well enough that I would never do anything to actually harm her. There is that level of trust where you know you are safe, and you can allow the excitement and intensity to overwhelm you.

There is also the knowledge of those I have owned that I pay attention constantly to what is going on. Many times I have pushed limits, pushed boundaries, and if I get a positive response we continue. But if I get a negative response, or if the scene suddenly takes a turn I don't like, everything stops and the chains come off and we just snuggle and caress and I learn what happened in her mind, and why.

I go into every experience with a very generalized plan of actions, rather than a specific checklist of what we are going to do. Having the former, I can move the experience where I desire, and I am also capable of changing tracks at a moment's notice.

As long as you can feel that level of trust and communication, you can release yourself into the raging emotions that we desire to achieve in this lifestyle.

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