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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 7:46:25 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

I asked you before... do you see me as a victim?

Tazzy, it's hard for me to see you as a victim, as you are very strong-willed. And your actions, being able to break apart from your master indicates immense strength. It's seriously not easy. And you know that.
This other woman, I'd consider weak-willed.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 221
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 7:46:51 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2
I found this surprisingly comforting, that one can be a sub/slave without at all needing a master (wanting is a different story). I tend to assume that not needing a master means I'm really not submissive.

Carol is clearly and obviously submissive... to me... to everyone. But Carol does not need a master. She's a perfectly competent individual perfectly able to make her way through the world. If I or someone else isn't there to tell her what to do then she figures it out herself. Carol "prefers to defer".

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 222
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 7:47:53 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Carol "prefers to defer".


Grins. Concise and perfectly explained.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 223
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 7:52:23 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

I asked you before... do you see me as a victim?

Tazzy, it's hard for me to see you as a victim, as you are very strong-willed. And your actions, being able to break apart from your master indicates immense strength. It's seriously not easy. And you know that.
This other woman, I'd consider weak-willed.



I didnt "break apart". He let me go. As many times as I tried to leave and stay gone, I couldnt. Once he gave me permission, I was free to do as I pleased. But If you think I didnt go through the emotional roller-coaster before I got that permission....

Let me say this... if he was abusive, he never would have allowed her to speak to anyone he didnt know. And since she told you so much, he allowed her to speak to you when he was not there watching.

Either you got "took" or things arent as bad as she made them out to be.

Either way, drop the victim comments. Its really offensive to believe that someone in a TPE relationship is considered a victim by someone who doesnt understand it.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 224
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:10:03 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

It's a psychological thing, he also does other things like gather her up, hug her, kiss her, and telling her what a good girl she is when she is sobbing and crying after being forced to do what she does not want to do.


Sounds like a ton of other doms out there. It's called aftercare, if memory serves.

IWYW,
— Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:11:36 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Forgotten already?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 226
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:13:20 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

This other woman, I'd consider weak-willed.


I'm curious as to how much of that assessment comes from a projection of your own relationship preferences. As tazzygirl said, no small number of women find it offensive to be dismissed as "weak-willed" "victims" simply for pursuing the kind of relationship dynamic they prefer... even if they're going through a rough patch at the time.

IWYW,
— Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 227
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:14:53 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Forgotten already?


You offering to refresh my memory?

IWYW,
— Aswad.

< Message edited by Aswad -- 6/4/2013 8:15:23 PM >

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 228
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:18:06 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
This other woman, I'd consider weak-willed.

I'm curious as to how much of that assessment comes from a projection of your own relationship preferences. As tazzygirl said, no small number of women find it offensive to be dismissed as "weak-willed" "victims" simply for pursuing the kind of relationship dynamic they prefer... even if they're going through a rough patch at the time.

Actually, Carol is "weak willed". That's what it means to be "socially submissive". To quote a famous line though, a great question to ask is "So how's that working for you?" In Carol's case it's working out pretty well. To misquote Indiana Jones, "She chose wisely".


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 229
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:22:35 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Actually, Carol is "weak willed". That's what it means to be "socially submissive".


And I don't have a problem with that.

But I said «"weak-willed" "victim"», and it hasn't been my impression that either of you would call her a victim.

IWYW,
— Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:35:57 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Let me say this... if he was abusive, he never would have allowed her to speak to anyone he didnt know. And since she told you so much, he allowed her to speak to you when he was not there watching.

I disagree, I'm just a stranger on the internet, so I am not threat to him. He wants her to speak with someone she doesn't know, in a very controlled situation where he has full control to prevent her from contacting me again or me from contacting her. If he allows her to speak to form re-occuring friendships, that's a different story, that would be caring.

Tazzy, you didn't think your dom is abusive, so his not abusive. This chick express to me in a way where I believe she believes he is crossing the line.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 231
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:38:24 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Actually, Carol is "weak willed". That's what it means to be "socially submissive". To quote a famous line though, a great question to ask is "So how's that working for you?" In Carol's case it's working out pretty well. To misquote Indiana Jones, "She chose wisely".

I can definitely see Carol walking away if she feels you are toxic to her, so I don't consider her weak-willed.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:39:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm just amazed that in this day and age that so many people still, even after everything that they have read and heard and even seen, that they still fall for these scams. I can't tell you how many times I have heard the exact same thing that Greta is saying and it has been, each and every single time, someone getting their jollies off, watching the person being gullible and naive.

Greta, unless you have actually met in person, face to face, this girl or even this guy, assume it's a scam because I'm betting 99.9% it is.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:40:04 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
I'm curious as to how much of that assessment comes from a projection of your own relationship preferences. As tazzygirl said, no small number of women find it offensive to be dismissed as "weak-willed" "victims" simply for pursuing the kind of relationship dynamic they prefer... even if they're going through a rough patch at the time.

I don't base it on my personal preference. I based it on happiness "index" of the sub.
If this girl was sharing me what her master does and how much she love giving up all that control and being forced to do all those stuffs. I'd be happy for her. Then she's not a victim.
I mean, how can being unhappy in a relationship be healthy?

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:42:46 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Actually, Carol is "weak willed". That's what it means to be "socially submissive".

And I don't have a problem with that. But I said «"weak-willed" "victim"», and it hasn't been my impression that either of you would call her a victim.

Well, I suppose we might. It'd be just as ludicrous when we do it as when strangers do but hey, we could give it a go.

Carol: Help, Help! I'm being repressed!

The more serious point here is that even "weak willed" is not necessarily the kiss of death -- or even a problem. Carol's answer to that is simply to have a well developed spidey sense. The asshats get weeded out early before they have a chance to establish any serious control. In other words, even SuperDom with a weak willed submissive needs some time to set his hooks.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:44:41 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:


Greta, unless you have actually met in person, face to face, this girl or even this guy, assume it's a scam because I'm betting 99.9% it is.

I don't believe it is. I really believe this one. Infact, one of my biggest concern is that she's being used to service other men. And her master collects money for it. Such things are not uncommon in my region. Prostitution isn't even illegal. I believe she is a victim. And she has sign up to be a slave. Being a slave means you do whatever your master say, but it doesn't say your master cannot profit from you.
And you know what, I don't even care if a master collects money for sharing his slave, as long as the slave is happy with the situation and gets off on it.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/4/2013 8:47:34 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 236
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:47:13 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Ok. Im going to go look for Arpig again.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:49:26 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I swear he's back!

He has to be!


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 238
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:53:04 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I based it on happiness "index" of the sub.


If you can accurately gauge her long term happiness from a few conversations with her, you're a heck of a lot better at reading people than I am, to the tune of "you should talk to someone so your skillset can be preserved through research" or thereabouts. The less exceptional claim would be a perfectly average level of accuracy in gauging your own accuracy, but that doesn't seem to be the claim you're making, which brings us back to the reasonable expectation of exceptional proof.

quote:

I mean, how can being unhappy in a relationship be healthy?


There's a difference between going through a rough patch, and ongoing long term misery.

Both me and my beloved have had plenty of rough patches, but we've overall been happy with each other for 15 years.

How long have you been 'monitoring' this sub?

IWYW,
— Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 239
RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:57:24 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Carol: Help, Help! I'm being repressed!


Aswad: Put a cock in it, lady.

quote:

The more serious point here is that even "weak willed" is not necessarily the kiss of death -- or even a problem.


Agreed.

quote:

Carol's answer to that is simply to have a well developed spidey sense. The asshats get weeded out early before they have a chance to establish any serious control. In other words, even SuperDom with a weak willed submissive needs some time to set his hooks.


That works. Would that all subs had a well developed spider sense, ideally from square one.

As you say, it takes time to do any significant "rewiring".

IWYW,
— Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 240
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