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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:57:35 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
I can definitely see Carol walking away if she feels you are toxic to her, so I don't consider her weak-willed.

Consider this. Right now if I handed her a gun she'd point it at her head and pull the trigger on command. Now are you so sure that she would walk if it became toxic? Personally, I think you're mistaking the generally upbeat and positive feel of our marriage with "weak control".

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 241

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:58:47 PM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I swear he's back!

He has to be!

Less plausible claims have been put forth... some of them in this very thread.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 242

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:58:56 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I don't base it on my personal preference. I based it on happiness "index" of the sub.
If this girl was sharing me what her master does and how much she love giving up all that control and being forced to do all those stuffs. I'd be happy for her. Then she's not a victim.
I mean, how can being unhappy in a relationship be healthy?

I was in a relationship like what you're describing, what tazzy is describing, and what Jeff is describing.

I was unhappy in it.

I got out because he let go of me, just like tazzy got out because her owner let go of her.

Are you saying that my relationship was abusive, and that I'm a victim? Because I would take serious offense at that.

Hell, my parents have been married for 28 years, most of that unhappy. They're still together because they still have fairly young children at home. Are you saying my parents are abusive/victims?

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 243

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:06:09 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I swear he's back!

He has to be!

Less plausible claims have been put forth... some of them in this very thread.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 244

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:12:25 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I swear he's back!

He has to be!

getting that feeling too?

Im not even saying he in on this thread. But after the last couple, at least his made more sense.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 245

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:13:44 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I was unhappy in it.

In a relationship where there is power play, your dom obviously cared enough about your welfare to let you go, the fact that you were unhappy. So no, I wouldn't say his abusive.

quote:

Hell, my parents have been married for 28 years, most of that unhappy. They're still together because they still have fairly young children at home. Are you saying my parents are abusive/victims?

Vanilla marriages, staying together for the sake of the kids is not the same. I don't agree with staying together for the kids, for the record, but I understand people really believe that a unbroken family is important to their children's mental health and have made the choice to make that sacrifice with their lives. It's a whole different matter.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 246

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:16:24 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Right now if I handed her a gun she'd point it at her head and pull the trigger on command. Now are you so sure that she would walk if it became toxic?

She knows you will never do that. And even this sharing thing, you said you would share, but I don't think you'll ever do it. The not finding a man you can trust enough to handle her will always be the reason you will never do it.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 247

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:16:50 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I was unhappy in it.

In a relationship where there is power play, your dom obviously cared enough about your welfare to let you go, the fact that you were unhappy. So no, I wouldn't say his abusive.

What would lead you to that conclusion?

He didn't want to let me go at first, he resisted the whole idea from the moment I brought it up for months.

He let me go because he cared enough about his wife's feelings to make that call.

My, you like drawing totally un-based conclusions, don't you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Hell, my parents have been married for 28 years, most of that unhappy. They're still together because they still have fairly young children at home. Are you saying my parents are abusive/victims?

Vanilla marriages, staying together for the sake of the kids is not the same. I don't agree with staying together for the kids, for the record, but I understand people really believe that a unbroken family is important to their children's mental health and have made the choice to make that sacrifice with their lives. It's a whole different matter.

So one type of unhappy relationship is ok, but another is not?

Where is the cutoff point that defines the difference?

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 6/4/2013 9:17:19 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 248

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:17:31 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

In a relationship where there is power play, your dom obviously cared enough about your welfare to let you go, the fact that you were unhappy. So no, I wouldn't say his abusive.

Ok, lets try it this way. Not every relationship will have completely happy moments. Not every relationship will be filled with love and sunshine every moment of the day.

There will be bad times, there will be unhappy moments.

And then there are girls who have expectations that are not being fulfilled.

And I am saying... her situation isnt bad enough to force her to leave to make it on her own without his assistance. If it was, she would already be gone.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 249

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:18:06 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
How long have you been 'monitoring' this sub?

No chance, not with her master controlling everything.

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 250

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:19:14 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

ssoooo basically you have only talked to her maybe 3 times or so?

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 251

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:20:38 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
And I am saying... her situation isnt bad enough to force her to leave to make it on her own without his assistance. If it was, she would already be gone.

Again, there is the issue of being brain-fucked into crushing her self-esteem and feeling completely defiled. She was ashamed of herself and felt like there is no redemption after all the things he made her do.
You know, if everybody could just leave when situations gets too bad, there would be no suicides in this world. Of course suicide is a form of leaving, if you want to count that in.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/4/2013 9:21:02 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 252

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:22:08 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Of course it is, and an option also left up to her. There is something there, keeping the girl in the situation, and its not him.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 253

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:23:58 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

ssoooo basically you have only talked to her maybe 3 times or so?

Little Wonder, you are talking as IF it's within my control how much I wanna talk to her? That's not within my control, she was talking to me with her dom's profile. It was her dom who approached me and chat me up first. He chatted with me for a few days, then asked if I could chat a little bit with his sub. Then his sub came on, he said he was going out to work, and we had a long conversation, after that, even though I tried contacting him, no response anymore.

Tell me if she was real victim, how is she suppose to talk to me more than 3 times?

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 254

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:25:55 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Of course it is, and an option also left up to her. There is something there, keeping the girl in the situation, and its not him.

maybe she has taken the suicide route in the end, I would never know.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 255

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:28:34 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

eeerrr....the same way she did before? Getting online and pretending to be two different people when in reality it's a lonely, desperate, man or a teenage boy.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 256

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:29:01 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
So one type of unhappy relationship is ok, but another is not?

Forgive me UllrsIshtar, I feel like we are arguing about the obvious.

But let's put it this way. Vanilla parents, stay unhappy together with the misguided belief that, this is what is necessary for the healthiest development of their children.

Compare to, sub feels she can't leave dom because she doesn't know how to survive without him, because his training of her is to exactly make her think that of herself.

Now which is positive intentions? And which is negative intentions?

To me the fact that your dom and tazzy dom was letting both of you go, tells me he wasn't training you both to be helpless. On top of that, your dom wasn't using you to make money too. It would be in her dom's best interest to keep her for as long as she's useful in that direction.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/4/2013 9:30:28 PM >

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 257

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:30:07 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

the only person who makes you helpless is yourself.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 258

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:30:31 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
And I am saying... her situation isnt bad enough to force her to leave to make it on her own without his assistance. If it was, she would already be gone.

Again, there is the issue of being brain-fucked into crushing her self-esteem and feeling completely defiled. She was ashamed of herself and felt like there is no redemption after all the things he made her do.
You know, if everybody could just leave when situations gets too bad, there would be no suicides in this world. Of course suicide is a form of leaving, if you want to count that in.

You know, when I was in the M/s relationship I used to be in, my owner let me sometimes vent online to another girl I liked to talk to.

I usually talked to her when I was going through a particularly rough time, and filled with doubt, because that's when my owner used to allow me the most time to waste online to blow of steam.

She didn't understand at all, and repeatedly tried to convince me that he was a sociopathic abusive asshole trying to brainwash me in a bad way, and destroy my self-esteem, and that I should leave him. If she would have gone online to tell others about it, she would have come out with much of the same kind of story you're telling now.

All the while, I was trying to explain to her that the problem with the relationship, from my perspective, was that he wasn't being enough of all the things she claimed where bad about him. I ended up leaving him because of him not being enough of exactly what she said the problems where (his work schedule ended up changing unexpected, causing him to have far less time than he previously did to be the "sociopathic abusive asshole trying to brainwash me in a bad way" she always claimed he was, causing me to feel abandoned and making me desire to leave).

Seriously, as resistant you've been on this thread about acknowledging internal enslavement mechanisms, I bet that most all of the claims that you're putting on this guy are your own projections on their relationship, and that, if the story is true, her actual main gripe is him not being mind-controling enough.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 259

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 9:34:16 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
eeerrr....the same way she did before? Getting online and pretending to be two different people when in reality it's a lonely, desperate, man or a teenage boy.

Whether she is real or not, I can never prove it to you, so we are arguing about something that cannot be proven.
But I believe she is real based on my own judgement and interaction with her. Her descriptions were vivid, and I didn't see any inconsistency on anything she says. Her description of her dom was also consistent with my impression of her dom, when he interacted with me, before I even spoke to her.
And unfortunately, you weren't privy to the conversation, so you can't gauge and of course you don't know me well enough to trust my judgement.
So we can agree to disagree.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 260

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