RE: The elusive female orgasm

RE: The elusive female orgasm (Full Version)

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Greta75 -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 5:01:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel I know you are correct CP. Its like Im on a quest to find the holy grail. I feel myself getting more and more tense, even doing it to myself. I think a bad experience when I was young and 30 years of marriage to Mr Missionary has screwed my works. Help ! I'm just curious. So a nice cock shaped vibrator pumping in and out of your vagina or just aiming it at your clit and holding it there, does not make you feel like you're gonna reach an orgasm at all? It's probably easier to do some self exploration with toys to find the zone, than to work with a man, unless you have a man you can really experiment and explore these things very openly with.

Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 5:26:30 AM)
I can't from sex alone. I can, just not from sex alone. I am on a message board for pregnant women and some there were complaining about this and a midwife got on and said it was purely a physical problem for most. Women have the nerves in different areas and unlike popular belief the wall of the vagina are not dense in nerve endings because women give birth. She said there was no way women could stand the pain if the entire inside was as thick in nerves as a man while pushing out a baby. So instead there is a small area inside and then outside that is sensitive. Someone else said if the nerves are buried it would be much harder to have an orgasm then someone who had them closer to the surface. Missblue- you may be overstimulated. I have heard if you are too sensitive then it would be nearly painful or annoying instead of enjoyable.

MissBlueangel -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 5:40:24 AM)
Not if its on my clitoris Greta....that I cant stand. If a dildo is pumping away, hard, and I stimulate my clit, then maybe I get a tingle. But when I get that 'tingle' its as if I try really hard to orgasm....I get too excited I suppose....then nothing. Can a clit be de-sensitised perhaps ?

Greta75 -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 5:49:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel Not if its on my clitoris Greta....that I cant stand. Can a clit be de-sensitised perhaps ? Okay, so maybe the vibrator you use is too strong. Shop for the most gentle one you can find but with multi-speed, and start at the lowest of the lowest, and experiment with different pressure on your clit. Also, don't buy those hard shell vibrators, try getting those silicon or rubber ones that are softer. How about those disposable vibrating cock rings? Those have pretty low vibration. Because "can't stand" to me is a good sign. It means it's sensitive, it means, you can orgase from it, but need lower pressure ones to build up. If you feel numb and absolutely nothing, then..., we know you can't get clit orgasms. Here is another way, well, my shower head is those massaging shower that has many different functions, water being more gentle, and more options to control pressure, if you use it to massage your clit, can have great orgasms too. Anyway, for myself, with vagina penetration, same thing, always feel like gonna reach, but cannot reach. Even with vibrating fake cocks, does not work. G-spot stimulation, does nothing, just takes me like 70% there and leaves me frustrated. But like some women, my friend doesn't get orgasm from penetration or clit, but actually gets it from stimulation of her tits. So I know every woman got like a different zone for it. Just got explore your own body.

MissBlueangel -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:08:06 AM)
Thanks Greta. It comes to something when you get to my age and need sex advice

Greta75 -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:19:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel Thanks Greta. It comes to something when you get to my age and need sex advice It tells me you must have devoted your life to something else, other than pursuing orgasms when you were younger, and it's probably more noble than orgasms :).

MissBlueangel -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:25:05 AM)
[:)]

Lynnxz -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:32:20 AM)
All of you orgasm questers need to go buy a Hitachi. Problem solved.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:36:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz All of you orgasm questers need to go buy a Hitachi. Problem solved. Incorect for all women... hitachis just hurt for me

Greta75 -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:36:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz All of you orgasm questers need to go buy a Hitachi. Problem solved. Ya but some already say vibration too strong. Hitachi is like the strongest vibrator out there.

theshytype -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:42:40 AM)
With age I've noticed it's not only easier to orgasm, but they're better and stronger. I've always had multiple orgasms. When I'm by myself, I take at least two. The second or third ones are always better to me and most satisfying. Past four or five and they're almost painful, but definitely still enjoyable. With the right stimulation (it can just be mental stimulation) I orgasm vaginally. It can be very quick (which means I'll most likely have more) or take a while. It depends on a number of factors. A lot of times when I feel him building up and close to orgasm, thats when I orgasm. I have a few times on words alone. Once from nipple stimulation alone. A handful of times from oral. I love having multiple orgasms from my clitoris then vaginally - everything is just more sensitive and feels great. Plus, if I have one and not the other then I feel incomplete almost. No matter which way, I have to be in the moment mentally (which isn't very difficult for me). I can count them out, but it gets more difficult as they go on or if I reach rolling orgasms. If I'm not told to count them, forget it. I don't know.

MissBlueangel -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:54:43 AM)
I have one Lynnxz....cant abide the sensation[:-]

cordeliasub -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 6:56:50 AM)
I remember about my third year into marriage a friend of mine was talking about how great an orgasm feels and how relaxed she was afterward blah blah. She asked me "don't you love that feeling?" I remember saying, "I am not really sure if I have had an orgasm." She told me if I wasn't sure, then I hadn't. The first time I realized I had had one was when I was pregnant, and I woke up from a very erotic dream and squeezed my thighs together and...BOOM! THAT was what everyone was talking about - damn!! [:)] I did not orgasm from having sex until I had been married about 12 years....and I am ashamed to say it wasn't with my hubby. For me, it is all about connection and the mind. It doesn't much matter what is being used or how - if I feel connected to the man and like I matter to him and feel free to let go, I can orgasm multiple times just from passionate kissing. But no connection? Doesn't matter how skilled he is - it ain't gonna happen.

AllisonWilder -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 7:04:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel Not if its on my clitoris Greta....that I cant stand. If a dildo is pumping away, hard, and I stimulate my clit, then maybe I get a tingle. But when I get that 'tingle' its as if I try really hard to orgasm....I get too excited I suppose....then nothing. Can a clit be de-sensitised perhaps ? I used to feel this way a lot. I thought I'd never really get there, but I found that rather than putting something directly on my clit, if I held it (or my fingers) just above it and pressed hard, I'd have the right amount of pressure (and some delightful vibration) right where I needed it. It was definitely an eye-opener.

icarus020 -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 7:13:19 AM)
From a male perspective, and knowing there will be someone who will shoot me down...it's all about learning each different woman's rhythyms. When I talk to other guys it's kinda like they don't get that everyone is different. Personally, I've always hated the idea of someone giving me oral...always, it's just never going to work. So, taking that principle it's about learning what feels good for the woman I'm with at the time. Once you do though it's so easy to return there and to achieve desirable sensations for her. The woman I'm dating at the moment needs around 20 minutes of foreplay vanilla in order to get there but she orgasms like many others. She did recently tell me that she's orgasmed with other guys before but that no other guy had 'found' the spot I hit before and gave her an orgasm so intense. From what I understand there are two types of orgasm with women...one that is stimulated by the clitoris which is somewhat weaker and less intense in general...the other is the vaginal which is far stronger and the type of orgasm associated with 'hitting' the G-Spot. Though if that's even true I've no idea. Now before I sound like I'm bragging let me say that I have a neurosis about female orgasms. My first serious partner was incapable of achieving orgasm. Seriously INCAPABLE. In that time I tried everything I could, we tried all sorts of positions, all sorts of toys...all sorts of methods...part of which led us to bondage, spankings and whippings...which didn't work because I enjoyed more in a non-sexual way (go figure). I recently found out why she was incapable of orgasm because she'd been in anti-depressants for so long. Here's the really crazy thing though. With anti-depressants, she is incapable of dropping the barriers necessary to orgasm, but without them her mind won't let her either. Honestly though, here's the thing....I think that we guys can sometimes be lazy...certainly a lot of the guys I talk to (albeit IRL) don't really seem to be that bothered. I suppose this isn't an answer rather unconnected thoughts!

Lynnxz -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 7:13:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz All of you orgasm questers need to go buy a Hitachi. Problem solved. Ya but some already say vibration too strong. Hitachi is like the strongest vibrator out there. True. The high setting is unpleasant for me.

tommonymous -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 7:28:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: However I'll state that I'm pretty damn sure that almost no woman has a physiological issue which prevents her from achieving orgasm. This is my thought as well, but I used to get daggers at me whenever I say something like this with women who seriously have difficulty getting orgasms. They just want to be accepted as, their made up is in a way that can't orgase. So I'm confuse if there are truly genuine cases where orgasms are impossible regardless the stimulant. It seems impossible to me, but I get it so easy, so it's hard to understand how is this possible. For some women, there is an actual physical incapability to orgasm. For most otherwise healthy women who cannot come, it is probably more psychological, or a matter of being able to "let loose" enough to relax and get off. Kind of like the part of this discussion mentioning that, the harder one poster tries, the less likely orgasm becomes. Regarding the daggers: Wouldn't you rather believe that something's wrong with you, or just not possible for you, than believe that you're just too uptight to get off? That seems like a lot of uptight. People generally dislike having a mirror held up to their shortcomings...

Greta75 -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 7:35:40 AM)
I don't think I will ever be able to get a vagina orgasm, because my insides are completely numb since the day I lost my virginity. My x noticed that I can never feel him cumming inside of me. He says, most women can feel it. But I always feel nothing inside. You put a big dick vibrator in there and I feel nothing.

Missokyst -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 7:55:34 AM)
I think you may have hit the nail on the head here. For me, BDSM is foreplay. I get turned on from the first tone of voice, the command, the quick yank of my shoulders down to his awaiting body. My body starts to tighten and my nerve endings are on the edge of .. I guess anxiety. I do not orgasm at all from oral. In fact it irritates me more than anything. But, one firm push of his cock into my vagina and I orgasm. It never fails. After that orgasms come fast and loose. Sometimes after a long play session all my body feels achy as if I have done many sit ups. Pretty sure things are not designed the same down below because everything I have is tucked up and neat looking. As far as being in touch with myself sexually, well I had my first orgasm early in my life. Scared the shit out of me, I thought I was dying. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact What does occur to Me is a possibility for those who feel that BDSM is always sexual for them. (I'm not in that camp.) If that bondage is sexual for you, doesn't that kind of boil down to some pretty long foreplay sessions? I tell clip pretty regularly that authority is a great aphrodisiac. I generally am getting turned on when I'm getting to enjoy My sadism with him. (For the most part, it only works that way for Me when playing with somebody with whom I am sexually intimate. Casual play doesn't necessarily have that effect on Me.) So, for that hour or two when I'm beating him or doing whatever else, I'm getting aroused.

mnottertail -> RE: The elusive female orgasm (2/20/2013 7:56:47 AM)
quote: well I had my first orgasm early in my life. Scared the shit out of me, I thought I was dying. That is interesting, and I second this exact thing.

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