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OttersSwim -> RE: Transgender discrimination suit against CO schools (3/5/2013 6:32:20 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Powergamz1
Some people under the umbrella *do* consider it adopting a role for a short while and playing/acting that role out in various settings from private hookups to public places.
The discussion would be worth having, especially since there is a strong element of consent/lack of consent potentially there.
Let me address this and Steel's post above. There are really two different types of people who engage in gender expression - those who are driven to do it via a fetish or sexual expression, and those who are driven to do it to create an authentic expression of "self". Between those two groups, there is a pretty huge gulf of intention and thinking behind the gender expression.
From the concept of playing a role, I would say from personal experience that I am most my "true self" when I am expressing my authentic self - and that self is predominately female. When I present as male (as I still do), then I feel as if I am more playing a role than when I am in female attire in a safe place (note that concept of "safe place" for later). I have spoken with other transgendered folk who expressed similar notions of where they are most authentic in themselves. As to the Steel's statement of roleplaying, I admit I was probably a bit twitchy about that sort of term given the squirrel post and others that made his position seem hostile. Thanks for responding politely Steel. :)
This concept of "authentic expression of self" is why I think the subject in the OP, Coy, is likely to be transgendered because at that age there is pretty much a zero chance of it being any sort of expression of fetish or sexual urge. We have to understand that when something like this presnets itself in a child, it becomes a pretty burning topic of discussion in the family. It certainly did with me and I was discussed and stressed about and trotted out to therapists, and eventually ended up in the "Big Brother of America" program where it was thought that a male role model would help me. And it did, but not in the way they thought - i.e., it did nothing to change who I was authentically inside. I can guarantee you that Coy at this point has heard most of the discussions about her, the anxt and worry, etc.
I certainly agree that this cannot be good, but in part it could not be helped. I believe that now, were I one of her parents, I would be looking for the best way to return her to a sense of normalcy. And as has been discussed, a move of house and school would be paramount in my mind as well.
As to the bathroom issue...it is never going to be easy. I cringe to use the restroom when I am out in public and it is something that every transgendered person thinks about. I fear someday being confronted using the Ladies room. I fear direct assault if I were forced to use the Men's room.
Again, I want to stress that there is something else going on in a transgendered person that is immensely different from a fetish or sexual expression. People have said that they don't understand what it is like to feel so different in body from what is at the core of your being. There is a brain/body disconnect and a spiritual disconnect too.
For me, being transgendered is like holding your breath. If you just stop breathing without taking a big breath...wait about 5-6 seconds and feel that urgent call that your body begins sending for air. That is the closest comparison I can come up with. It comes from the body, from the brain and from the heart and it affects different people to different levels. It is the urgent call of dissonance - brain body disconnected, a sense that who you are at the core of your being is not reflected in your physical body.
Imagine feeling that sort of sensation every minute of every day x365xyearsxdecades....from age 5 or 6... You cannot help but to be deeply affected by it. It often is the driving force in your entire life, and it can even be so severe that you feel called to end it.
And so I believe that in the vast vast majority of the (relatively small number) transgendered people out there, there is simply a desire to live our lives unmolested, in our authenticity. And that is going to mean that we are going to have to share public spaces and yes, even bathrooms with some of you and that may make you uncomfortable.
The thing I would like people to understand is that I am just there to pee in as much privacy as the bathroom in question will allow. I don't want to see your bits any more than you want to see mine.
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