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LadyPact -> RE: Transgender discrimination suit against CO schools (3/13/2013 8:29:04 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
So this is just a general reply. I think all this talk of expression vs. roleplay has gotten a bit out of hand. Suffice it to say that for myself and pretty much every one of the transgendered people I know, simply being able to be your true gender is a pure expression of "self". There is no roleplay because it does not feel in any way put on or false. It feels and for me, is, natural and right. Again, I think you would be hard pressed to find a transperson who would disagree with most of that.
And so, in being ones true gender, most simply want to get on with life, and do so unmolested.
Two years ago, I went to an outdoor hotspring in Colorado. Now, I am not transitioned, nor do I have breasts - that are part of my flesh. But I was arriving and leaving dressed, behaving, and appearing as female. I was really uncomfortable about how to handle where I should change, what I should wear...and of course how/if I would be permitted to even go inside and if there would be any sort of issue with other patrons.
I am not the type of person that can handle just walking into a place and seeing what might happen. So I called in advance. I informed the lady on the phone that I was transgendered, not transitioned, and asked if they might have a private changing area that I could use. She said that yes, they did, and she would be happy to accommodate me and that I was most welcome.
And so we went and for the most part had a lovely experience.
I relate this story because this is one example of how transgendered people live their lives. That constant thinking/worrying/wondering about what someone is going to think, say, or do about you gets really heavy. And you try to NOT live your life like that, but it is nigh impossible to not give it space in your head. At least for me it is... Using facilities of your true gender, or trying to get separate accommodations just so you can feel safe and yet feel like you can actually leave the house and have a life.
Probably, some will say that I should have challenged the conventions and used the women's changing area. You know, they are probably right, but I just could not face it - it was just too heavy, too daunting on the day. When I walked out of the private changing area, I nearly threw up I was so nervous.
I hope people can see that no one in their right mind would live this way unless they were being driven by something that was so deep and authentic it simply could not be denied.
I feel for this child Coy because she is just beginning and already at age 6 she is facing the challenges that society throws up against people who, just to be themselves, have to break through gender barriers. There is no easy answer, no easy path.
Dang, I can't remember the name of this joint. Would you be referring to the place that is down towards Canon City? Adult only and clothing optional?
(I'm about to receive a ton of flack and I'm willing to accept that.)
Honestly, I think you made the right move. If I didn't know you and came into a changing area where you were undressed, I'm going to admit that My first thought isn't going to be 'oh, that's just a trans* person' and everything is fine. I'm going to think, "there's a naked dude in here and I'm in an enclosed area". If we are talking about the same place, we're talking cement floors, concrete cinder blocks for walls, public address system with music playing, and a design where lockers and wall prevent a straight shot out of the area if I had come in where the benches were.
I'm going to hazard a guess that a large majority of women are going to have the immediate reaction of dangly bits and "women's changing area" don't go together. That's going to raise some concern. Especially if we're talking about a semi-sound preventive space and one attendant for the entire joint who is taking admissions, tending concessions, and overseeing the springs itself for safety reasons.
It can't be completely unreasonable that some women might have the first thought of "do I have to defend Myself" when they come across someone in a male body in a place that they expect to see only female bodies *and* they are in an enclosed environment? I can't sit here and say that I would have felt completely safe or if I wouldn't have at least went to ask the attendant if everything was kosher.
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