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THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 7:52:46 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
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This is a question for masters, subs, anyone really who has any input.

What are the tricks of the trade to show complete submission in the bedroom? I am not a natural submission, other then doing as a master/dom wishes, is there something else I am missing here?

I understand that everyone has different dynamics and likes so what submission is for one might not be the cup of tea for another.

WHen you are generally more dominant, and attempting to be submissive (a genuine will to do it) it is a little hard to understand how to show it completely. I feel like I am missing something.

I guess my question is, was there a pivotal moment, you knew you were there? Or to the masters was there a pivotal moment you knew your sub was there?

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 3/6/2013 7:55:22 AM >

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Post #: 1

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 8:35:22 AM

OsideGirl

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From: United States
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I can't say much about the bedroom part since for me, what happens in there is directly tied to what happens when we're not in the bedroom.

But, one thing I keep repeating is: D/s isn't like throwing a switch -and SHAZAM - everything works perfectly. It's a learning curve that requires trust and time.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 2

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 8:53:34 AM

SomethingCatchy

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Perhaps I'm just a Negative Nancy but all these terms 'gift of submission' and 'submission is an art' ... they're just getting on my damn nerves. It's propping someone up to a higher pedestal than they deserve simply because of how they might be wired. In short - having a certain personality does not mean your personality is an art form.

How do you show complete submission in the bedroom? You do exactly as the dominant tells you. If you can't manage that, not a big deal. Just tell him and then reevaluated if you're submissive or a bottom. No shame in either of them.

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Post #: 3

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 9:02:52 AM

WithBellsOn

Posts: 33
Joined: 3/1/2013
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quote:

I understand that everyone has different dynamics and likes so what submission is for one might not be the cup of tea for another.

This. I'm 'naturally submissive' (at least with women), and for me that means being very passive and yielding. Some people really like that. Some people don't. Since I want to be able to please a wider range of 'types,' I push myself to take the initiative more, if that's what my partner likes.

Similarly, I'm naturally very quiet, and could easily damp down my responses to pain or pleasure to almost nothing. Very few people like that, however, so I try to amplify them -- not 'faking' anything, just trying to respond as much as I can.

But really? You should talk to your partner about what kind of submission they like.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 4

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 9:05:20 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
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THanks, here I go with more crazy questions.

Dress, does dress help? I am a jeans girl LOVE THEM! I might wear a sexy top but its usually paired with jeans.
IM thinking maybe I should try some skirts? TO make me feel more feminine.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 5

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 9:08:09 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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Look what guys who want it view as feminization.................use the girl tools, you got one of those already, and yeah, living the stereotype will help sometimes.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 9:15:51 AM

WithBellsOn

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Joined: 3/1/2013
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Dresses/skirts definitely 'work' for me, but YMMV. Can't hurt to give it a try, though!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 7

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 9:18:40 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
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OKay thank you. I am a real life person, so what I mean is I am not much for faking. BUt maybe I need to change things up a bit, cause it might just help give me more the vibe.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 8

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 9:49:56 AM

mnottertail

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If your ass is scrubbed your hair is done, your nails are ready and whatnot, dont you feel better? How is that faking?

I like ribeye, but it doesnt help cholesterol problems, does it?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 9

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 10:00:56 AM

chatterbox24

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Joined: 1/22/2012
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haha.

TRUE TRUE.

I guess I did not want to play the stereo type for some reason, beats me. I think It might be it was expected, and thats all it was. BE BEAUTIFUL FOR ME, it was all superficial and I resented it. Well yes everyone feels better when they look their best.

BUt I am gonna give it a try! the whole completely feminine dress.
Gonna put up my " woman balls" ha! I feel like I can play the part, feel the part inside and out, since it is deeper then skin deep.
I didnt feel anyone was worthy. BIngo thats exactly what it was! Needed some serious PROOF.

I had very little trust.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 3/6/2013 10:01:57 AM >

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 10

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 10:26:05 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Perhaps I'm just a Negative Nancy but all these terms 'gift of submission' and 'submission is an art' ... they're just getting on my damn nerves. It's propping someone up to a higher pedestal than they deserve simply because of how they might be wired. In short - having a certain personality does not mean your personality is an art form.

How do you show complete submission in the bedroom? You do exactly as the dominant tells you. If you can't manage that, not a big deal. Just tell him and then reevaluated if you're submissive or a bottom. No shame in either of them.

Hell yup. Good post.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 11

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 10:54:04 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

haha.

TRUE TRUE.

I guess I did not want to play the stereo type for some reason, beats me. I think It might be it was expected, and thats all it was. BE BEAUTIFUL FOR ME, it was all superficial and I resented it. Well yes everyone feels better when they look their best.

BUt I am gonna give it a try! the whole completely feminine dress.
Gonna put up my " woman balls" ha! I feel like I can play the part, feel the part inside and out, since it is deeper then skin deep.
I didnt feel anyone was worthy. BIngo thats exactly what it was! Needed some serious PROOF. I had very little trust.

Don't get me wrong, I would do you in the gorilla suit there, and I am pretty sure that on this sites worth of sick fucks, I am not the only one, or am I the only one?

Nothing wrong with a little fire engine red lipstick to provide lipstick on the dipstick, girlie.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 12

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 12:13:30 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy
How do you show complete submission in the bedroom? You do exactly as the dominant tells you.

*laughs* I totally agree and it made me think of this..

It always makes me wonder why "submitting" seems to be the thing nobody thinks about when they are wondering how to submit.

Attachment (1)

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(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 13

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 12:15:49 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Perhaps I'm just a Negative Nancy but all these terms 'gift of submission' and 'submission is an art' ... they're just getting on my damn nerves. It's propping someone up to a higher pedestal than they deserve simply because of how they might be wired. In short - having a certain personality does not mean your personality is an art form.

How do you show complete submission in the bedroom? You do exactly as the dominant tells you. If you can't manage that, not a big deal. Just tell him and then reevaluated if you're submissive or a bottom. No shame in either of them.

I'm going with this, too. Even if one wanted to go with the 'art of submission' thing, it certainly wouldn't be in the bedroom that I would think tests the mettle for that. How hard can it be when somebody says give Me a blow job and you comply? If I can't give a command in the bedroom and have it followed, damn, I need to hang it up.

Keep something in mind. Submission, nor Dominance for that matter, necessarily lives in a vacuum. Sure, there are some people out there where submitting to another is a natural thing. For others, it's only submitting to a particular person that is natural. If you are the latter, and that person isn't inspiring your submission, you have to figure out why that is and what needs to be done to improve it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 14

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 12:34:10 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

But, one thing I keep repeating is: D/s isn't like throwing a switch -and SHAZAM - everything works perfectly. It's a learning curve that requires trust and time.

Yes, takes work (by both parties) and lots and lots of fine-tuning. Also, dynamics change over time as you discover more about each other, and people's interests change, new life situations crop up, so all that has to be taken into account as well. Be open to Adaptation.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 15

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 1:23:21 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

Remember that saying "I don't know art, but I
know what I like."

Find out what your partner likes. Ask questions,
it doesn't need to ruin the moment, you could say
it like a porn star, "How do you want me?"
If your trying to do what will make you partner
happy, pleased, pleasured ect..
That's a turn on in itself and it's also the best way
to find the answer to your question.

I'm not sure there are many tricks to submission,
other than feeling it and being it.
I am sure that trying to use tricks on me and
being anything other than, open and genuine...
Is Not the path to better D/s.

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530 DAYS

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)

Post #: 16

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 1:37:36 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bettywade
Unless your a real sub yourself,how the hell do you know what submission is?

Well, the simple answer on that is because I own one and I've had others in the past. If you were to find anybody on these forums who has met My boy and thinks he's not submissive to Me, I'd probably laugh My ass off.

quote:

You lousy doms should be lucky,any sane person would even want to submit to your sorry asses in the first place.

I'll remind clip to tell Me that. Maybe I'll make a game of it while playing tonight. In the meantime, he's kind of busy carrying out the instructions I gave him about cleaning up the dungeon.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to bettywade)

Post #: 17

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 2:13:39 PM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

I have been practicing in the mirror, trying for Marilyn Monroe but I seem to keep getting lucille ball. hahahahhahahaha
The fire engine red lipstick is a bit WOW.
Seriously though, I am just looking for that really soft inner feminine side and the part where you just let go.

And yes, Is it Ron? Your the only guy in a monkey suit trying to paint your dipstick on this site of sick fucks

As far as submission being a gift, or an art, I just liked using that title. I think though if you generally dont submit by nature, like in my case, it seems pretty special the will to want too.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 18

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 2:19:53 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Submission isn't a gift, but I believe there is art in it, otherwise, guys wouldn't need hookers and we wouldnt have submissives all broken up because they talked back or didn't do something just so, or other fuck ups.

Or trying to look like you are adoring gobbling the cock when what you are really thinking is, 'Does this cock in my mouth make my ass look fat?'. And getting him to believe you are having a calgon take me away moment.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 3/6/2013 2:24:05 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 19

RE: THe art of submission - 3/6/2013 2:44:35 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

What are the tricks of the trade to show complete submission in the bedroom?

Tricks of the trade? Other than getting your money up front, I can't think of any.

quote:

Perhaps I'm just a Negative Nancy but all these terms 'gift of submission' and 'submission is an art' ... they're just getting on my damn nerves.

Hear! Hear! Although my first choice to top the list of tired, worn out meaningless terms is, "Topping from the bottom."

quote:

But really? You should talk to your partner about what kind of submission they like.

I agree although if the partner's not equally interested in hearing what kind of dominance you like, I'd recommend giving her a pass.

quote:

Dress, does dress help? I am a jeans girl LOVE THEM!

Doesn't anybody party naked anymore?

quote:

Why don't you self-righteous hypocrites shut the hell up of what your narrow views of submission is a gift.Unless your a real sub yourself,how the hell do you know what submission is?Just spewing your 2 cents which isn't worth 1 cent.

I'm sorry, I must have missed that chapter in the "Real Submissive's Bible."

quote:

I have been practicing in the mirror, trying for Marilyn Monroe but I seem to keep getting lucille ball.

Hmm, when you get Carole Burnett, give me a call.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 20

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