UllrsIshtar
Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012 Status: offline
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Great job on the selective reading... quote:
ORIGINAL: Whippedboy Do you ever engage him any other time than when your telling him to do chores? As I've stated before, yes... a lot. quote:
ORIGINAL: Whippedboy Do you try to make them fun? Yes quote:
ORIGINAL: Whippedboy Interesting? Yes quote:
ORIGINAL: Whippedboy MAybe find the ones he CAN do well or is interested and reward him for that. Then add the others. Again, the issue ISN'T that he can't do these chores. He can. He's physically, mentally, and emotionally able to do these chores, do them well, do them easily, and has fun doing them. What the issue is is that he can't remember them, is inconsistent (as in, can do a super complex thing perfectly one minute like unload and load the entire dishwasher; but the next second can't remember to pull his pants down before he sits down on the potty). I can't "perfect one chores and then add others" with him... if I'd do that, he wouldn't be able/allowed to dress himself, go to the toilet by himself, put his own shoes on, brush his own teeth, wash his own hands, or eat by himself. Because these are ALL things that one minute he's mastered, and the next minute he doesn't remember the steps on how to accomplish them. Do you seriously think that I just woke up one day and decided to give him all that stuff to do from one minute to the next, to then start complaining he couldn't do them? Have you ever taught a 4 year old to do anything? These chores HAVE been added slowly, while we worked on learning to do one right, nothing else got added. He's got these down easily -WHEN he focusses- but he can't do even the simplest thing for himself when he doesn't focus. And I reward him constantly. He gets praise consistently for every tine little small thing he does right. I must praise him at least 50 times a day... if not 10x that. My question, from the very start, was if I should expect some small degree of consistency and focus of him by this age, or if it's perfectly normal for him to fluctuate so much on what he can and can't do. quote:
ORIGINAL: Whippedboy What his sister can or can't do does not mean shit. She's a year and a half older. And even if they were the same age, who cares? Don't compare siblings, they will both end up hating you and each other. I don't compare siblings. I specifically said I can't compare the two because I know his sister is so much ahead for her age. And even IF I would compare them, I specifically mentioned that she does WAY more than him right now, and that she could do this stuff AT HIS AGE (but that that doesn't mean anything BECAUSE she's so much ahead). And why the hell would they both end up hating each other or me because I'm trying to figure out what is and isn't normal 5 year old behavior from him by looking at the only 5 year old I've been in close contact with? Are you seriously suggesting that because I'm trying to figure out if I should be worried about him they'll both end up hating me? quote:
ORIGINAL: Whippedboy I really think you need to educate yourself on the basics of CHILD development and how they learn. And the fact I made this tread is evidence of my unwillingness to learn about child development... right? quote:
ORIGINAL: Whippedboy If he's staring a tthe ceiling he's probably bored as shit from doing chores all day. He doesn't do chores all day. He spends probably an hour a day total on self-care stuff like brushing his teeth and getting dressed, and half an hour to an hour a day maximum doing communal chores. And he's staring at the ceiling regardless of subject, or who is talking to him, or in what context. You can ask him about going to the zoo and he'll be so excited he's jumping up and down whilst talking to you... while staring at the ceiling... quote:
ORIGINAL: Whippedboy Stop focusing on what he can't do and try to ENGAGE him in what he can. I'm not focusing on what he can't do... I'm focussing on whether or not what he can't do is a problem that I need to address and get him HELP for, or if I've got nothing to worry about and he's doing just fine.
< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 3/8/2013 8:46:20 AM >
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I can be your whore I am the dirt you created I am your sinner And your whore But let me tell you something baby You love me for everything you hate me for
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