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How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 5:21:52 PM   
HisSexyBrat


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		How do i get past the lies, the deceit, the hiding, the omissions?

It makes me sick to my stomach to think i've found a Dom that "appears" to be perfect, but i'm so jaded from past DOMS that have been totally fake. Promising the world and most of all Their Dominance and turning out to be piss poor broke, out of control and not Dominant. THEN to find a Dom that says He's real, that wants me as HIS only to disappear for a week at a time. HE says HE's out of country. Yes for those of US who have been here a very long time this is a *RED FLAG* i've had others use the excuses of "sick" "dead phone" broke laptop", but not all at once. So communication while "out of country?" i so want to be free of worrying about being hurt and lied to yet AGAIN! Is there a website that we subs don't know about that has a list of subs that are easy to mess with? i'm as real as they come and genuine and loving. i so want things to work with this DOM, but the trust issues are very deep for me.


"Princess Brat"
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 5:40:12 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I would say that you're not ready to be in a relationship. You need to take some time and get yourself mentally healthy. Otherwise it's just always going to be a self fulfilling prophecy.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 5:53:06 PM   
breagha


Posts: 380
Joined: 7/29/2012
Status: offline 		after reading your profile, my first question is...

is your primary relationship dissatisfying? i personally have never understood the need or want to serve and/or be owned by two D type men. it seems as if it would be very hard to do ( for me ) successfully. i am not judging you, just curious to know why you seek to have two Dominants.

i have found in the past that seeing a therapist helps in working through trust issues. i saw one for 3 years after my last relationship. if you are willing to do the work that is involved in something like that... it might be worth looking into.

also... sounds silly but rings true to me... sometimes when we stop searching for the thing we want so badly is when it decides to come to us on its own.

< Message edited by breagha -- 3/16/2013 5:57:57 PM >

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"Consumed with memories that preceded today; given a chance to bereave life that's slipping away"

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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 5:55:37 PM   
breagha


Posts: 380
Joined: 7/29/2012
Status: offline 		also... are you looking to serve online only? or are you seeking another real time Dom to serve? i think how you answer this will determine the type of advice and response you will get. and possibly get you the best advice to help you in your situation

< Message edited by breagha -- 3/16/2013 5:56:59 PM >

_____________________________

"Consumed with memories that preceded today; given a chance to bereave life that's slipping away"

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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 5:58:03 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		You want someone to basically be the brother husband of your husband?

Welcome to the unicorn hunt, lady.

(in reply to breagha)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:25:48 PM   
HisSexyBrat


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		Hi Ladies... Sorry this was meant for DOM Males really.

Oside... So wrong on the NOT ready for a relationship. This has been the issue for quite some time. Finding a Dom that is honest and OPEN about who He is. Just as DOMS have issues with finding a real submissive or a poly of submissives. Ones who get it.

Breagha... it's not up to anyone to get the Poly life except those in the poly life. If You don't see why serving two Doms is good then you need not worry about it. Just be happy with serving yours! :) i have never been lied to so much as on this site. i think it's crazy how much false information people put into themselves here. subs lieing about who they are as much as Doms lieing about who they are.

my profile is not rocket science. It speaks well for who M and i are as a poly triad... We are very real and genuine and open and honest... We just look for OTHERS to be the same! When Doms and subs alike start to falsify who they are as humans it throws everything and everyone they come into contact with off kilter!

Any Dom or sub that posts here and says that they've never been lied to on this site is either the liar or hasn't been here long enough yet! Read profiles or journals of people here. Most get so frustrated....so jaded... That they leave! It's crazy they non sense that happens for no reason. Just looking to find that someONE to add to Your life! The one/ONE that gets YOU and loves the idea of who Y/you are and wants to make Y/you THAT better sub/Dom.

:) Justa thought!!

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:27:31 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat

Hi Ladies... Sorry this was meant for DOM Males really.




Well, it appears that the dom males don't really give a shit about your problems.

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:31:11 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I would say that you're not ready to be in a relationship. You need to take some time and get yourself mentally healthy. Otherwise it's just always going to be a self fulfilling prophecy.


This. Exactly this.

ETA: After reading your next angry response, yup....you need therapy and you are definitely not ready for any relationship. I kinda feel sorry for your husband but then he chose you.



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 3/16/2013 6:33:35 PM >

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:33:11 PM   
breagha


Posts: 380
Joined: 7/29/2012
Status: offline 		i didn't mean to offend you. nor was i judging you. just trying to get the most accurate info

_____________________________

"Consumed with memories that preceded today; given a chance to bereave life that's slipping away"

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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:37:12 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

If You don't see why serving two Doms is good then you need not worry about it.


Even though I'm a slave, I'm looking at it from a dominant male point of view. With two "alpha males" there, they will be fighting for control. What happens when one gives orders that contradict the other's?

I can see poly working with one dom and multiple subs (either in a family or v setup), and I can see it working with subs serving a male/female dom/me couple.

But two male doms with one female sub? Can't see it being more than a fuckbuddy situation unless you are dealing with brothers that had an existing relationship before you came into the picture and they decided to share you. Particularly since, according to your profile, you've been married to your dom since you were 15.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 3/16/2013 6:40:26 PM >

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:37:17 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat

Hi Ladies... Sorry this was meant for DOM Males really.

Oside... So wrong on the NOT ready for a relationship. This has been the issue for quite some time. Finding a Dom that is honest and OPEN about who He is. Just as DOMS have issues with finding a real submissive or a poly of submissives. Ones who get it.

Breagha... it's not up to anyone to get the Poly life except those in the poly life. If You don't see why serving two Doms is good then you need not worry about it. Just be happy with serving yours! :) i have never been lied to so much as on this site. i think it's crazy how much false information people put into themselves here. subs lieing about who they are as much as Doms lieing about who they are.

my profile is not rocket science. It speaks well for who M and i are as a poly triad... We are very real and genuine and open and honest... We just look for OTHERS to be the same! When Doms and subs alike start to falsify who they are as humans it throws everything and everyone they come into contact with off kilter!

Any Dom or sub that posts here and says that they've never been lied to on this site is either the liar or hasn't been here long enough yet! Read profiles or journals of people here. Most get so frustrated....so jaded... That they leave! It's crazy they non sense that happens for no reason. Just looking to find that someONE to add to Your life! The one/ONE that gets YOU and loves the idea of who Y/you are and wants to make Y/you THAT better sub/Dom.

:) Justa thought!!


FYI, the site maintains that anyone can post wherever they like- so wherever you post you'll get whoever feels like responding.

Seems like you're blaming the site for your disappointment, which confuses me. I think the games people play, or the way they represent themselves, pretty much follows the same patterns from site to site. It's not limited to D/s, people are people no matter what they like to do in the bedroom. What would it matter anyway if this site was the mecca for players? If you choose to use it then you're going to have to deal with what you encounter. You can stay or you can go, you can't make the other users do exactly what you wish them to do.

You're looking for a poly situation, that's traditionally a tough row to hoe. It may take a while. If it bothers you to deal with things that frustrate you, then stop coming to use the site and search in other ways, like going to real life events, or give up the poly idea.

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:40:05 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

If You don't see why serving two Doms is good then you need not worry about it.


Even though I'm a slave, I'm looking at it from a dominant male point of view. With two "alpha males" there, they will be fighting for control. What happens when one gives orders that contradict the other's?

I can see poly working with one dom and multiple subs (either in a family or v setup), and I can see it working with subs serving a male/female dom/me couple.

But two male doms with one female sub? Can't see it being more than a fuckbuddy situation unless you are dealing with brothers that had an existing relationship before you came into the picture and they decided to share you.



Maybe the husband really is bi and/or a switch.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:41:13 PM   
HisSexyBrat


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		NO Love not offended at all! Just saying that is not what it is. I am not getting you girls who are saying this. So if i am not ready for a relationship then i should just walk away and not look and give up on finding someone true?? OR do i close my eyes to the lies that Doms tell and act like a spacey sub that just walks around in her own little cyber land and believes whatever crap the Dom says??

LMAO... because i have partially done the later to find out that the DOM who said HE got and loved the Poly Triad and wanted me as His sub and even sent a bracelet to me for Valentines day and said He was this almighty man and M and i flew to meet Him only to find that He was flat busted broke and His life was out of control and doing a back ground check on Him found He was a felon many times over... YET you girls say I'm not ready for a relationship!? This is humorous to say the least. Seriously!

I believed everything He said so much that YES M and i flew to meet Him. After we finished our trip and visit... things did NOT add up so we did a back ground check on said Dom. YES Felon. So i'm not ready because i've been severely lied to in the past and all Doms and subs should NOT take responsibility for themselves and actions because why??? This is an online thing??

NOT to US. We seek RL LTR! No cyber bs!

:) i'm much cooler/hotter off this crazy site!

(in reply to breagha)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:43:51 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

I believed everything He said so much that YES M and i flew to meet Him. After we finished our trip and visit... things did NOT add up so we did a back ground check on said Dom. YES Felon. So i'm not ready because i've been severely lied to in the past and all Doms and subs should NOT take responsibility for themselves and actions because why??? This is an online thing??



That was your first problem...you were assuming that everything said on the Internet was true.

Bon jour!

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:44:48 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

I believed everything He said so much that YES M and i flew to meet Him. After we finished our trip and visit... things did NOT add up so we did a back ground check on said Dom. YES Felon. So i'm not ready because i've been severely lied to in the past and all Doms and subs should NOT take responsibility for themselves and actions because why??? This is an online thing??



That was your first problem...you were assuming that everything said on the Internet was true.

Bon jour!




(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:45:04 PM   
HisSexyBrat


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		Baroana again... please do not interject things you have NO clue on. This HAS worked in the past. 5 years per Poly Triad. Makes no difference if you get this or NOT. M is 100% straight no questions about it after 25 years of marriage thank You.

Again... some "true" help would be nice instead of judging someones life you have no clue of.

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:46:40 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat

Baroana again... please do not interject things you have NO clue on. This HAS worked in the past. 5 years per Poly Triad. Makes no difference if you get this or NOT. M is 100% straight no questions about it after 25 years of marriage thank You.

Again... some "true" help would be nice instead of judging someones life you have no clue of.



I totally believe you. Clearly you are an excellent judge of character.

By the way, your profile says age 40. Did you marry at 15? Surely you are not lying about your age.

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:48:09 PM   
HisSexyBrat


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		searching4mysir... *smiles* yes agreed! THIS is what i speak of. When i say i am who i am... TRUTH... When i say i will do what i say... i will. Trusting online is what i'm jaded about.

This is it!! THE issue of how to balance the Online "trust" to the RL meeting that sometimes takes weeks or a month or so. i guess watching catfish does not help!


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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:48:11 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Again... some "true" help would be nice instead of judging someones life you have no clue of.


How can anyone help if they have no clue about you, your husband, what you've done prior that has worked/not worked.

You are asking us to be fucking mindreaders here, cupcake. We can ONLY go based on what you've said in your profile and here. That's it. That you have a lousy communication style is not OUR problem. We aren't the ones here for help.



_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:49:04 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		Well, if it were so easy and you were such an expert, you would not be here asking for....what exactly are you asking for? How to get past being jaded? If so, you were given some good advice about different avenues.

I would say work on your radar, because if you and your m dude flew to meet someone that fooled you that badly, you aint zactly got this online thing down yet.

Good luck.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
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