LadyPact
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I'm putting both quotes in here so I can address the whole thing.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Greta75
This is the reason why I could never give up control 101%. Exactly because humans are unpredictable. You never know when your dom will change. Madly inlove with you from the start, and later, just decided, ta--daaa, bbbyyyyeeee, at his wimp, cuz yea, his in control, it's whatever he wants.
I notice you mention that Doms change. You are skipping the fact that subs can change, too. Being "in charge" or the person with the power to implement punishments for poor behaviors isn't a guarantee that the obstacles that are hindering the relationship are going to improve.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Greta75
Then it's not a committed relationship and they shouldn't ask for a commitment.
I understand walking away when the relationship is abusive, but I don't understand in OP's case, that it's been 8 yrs together, he should've known her in and out by the 2nd or 3rd year already, especially the way d/s relationship work, you get deeper with that person than vanilla relationships. It sounded to me like he abandoned her when she's going through her "thick" and stayed with her while it was the "thin". There was no through "thick and thin" about it.
I don't agree with your statement that it wasn't a committed relationship. There's honestly not enough information about the OP or the other person in question to make that determination. She thought they were happy. Obviously, he didn't agree with that or he wouldn't have ended the relationship.
A relationship doesn't have to be abusive for a person to come to the realization that they are happier without a person than they are happy with that person. That would boil down to becoming a martyr and sacrificing themselves for the sake of the relationship. Sticking it out when you are unhappy as a human being and the only reason that remains is the commitment is a foolish proposition.
quote:
Anyway, the reason why I never give 100% is because I can never tell if his gonna give me his 100% since only time can tell. And I gotta hold a certain independent side of myself intact always, incase he decides to abandon, and I gotta stand on my own feet and fend for myself then. But there will be subs who give their everything and their all. I knew one who even gave up family ties, all her money, everything up to her dom, and I worry for the day IF he abandons her. Hopefully he stays interested forever.
In a way, I agree with some of this. It's not going to be a popular view, but there is a difference between submission and smothering. I'm hesitant to use the OP's case as an example but there's something that might make a good point.
If we're talking about somebody who was getting to the point where they are afraid to leave the house, aren't really connecting with other people, have no hobbies that they enjoy on their own......... Is that really good for either person in the relationship? What happens when the D (as any human being does) wants to have their own friendships, hobbies, leisure time, and other healthy outlets?
Sure. You can just say that the D is in charge and they do what they want. What happens when the result of that is just more negative behavior from the sub? What about acting in ways that were never a part of their personality before? Like it or not, in certain cases, that does happen.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 
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