RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a break

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 4/6/2013 4:35:04 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
especially the way d/s relationship work, you get deeper with that person than vanilla relationships.

Bull shit.

My mother is still grieving the loss of her husband of 36 years. I'm not sure that she'll ever be over him or in another relationship. Should I tell her to let it go since it was just a vanilla relationship and therefore couldn't possibly have been that deep?

Way back when, I used to think that M/s & D/s was more intense, more involved, and deeper than non M/s. In my first month here, I had quite the sparring with KoM over this.

What I came to realize over time, is that they're all relationships, and certain relationship styles are better/deeper/more honest & intense than others, depending on the people in them. For me, I get all that out of M/s, which is why I thought it was deeper. Because FOR ME, it is. But not for everyone. Took me some time to realize that. I suspect Greta's in that place right now, too.

My brother and his wife of 32 years has an enviable marriage; one I have always admired and one that others look to for counsel. They are not M/s or D/s. They are the most honest, intimate, committed people I know. D/s would not work for them (they've tried it). They could not be themselves in it, therefore it was not honest for them. Food for thought.

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 4/6/2013 4:39:51 PM

OsideGirl

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Exactly. D/s or M/s does not automatically make a relationship "deeper". Matter of fact, I seen some that were just flat out a farce.

It's how those two people relate to each other that determines the depth of the relationship.

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 4/7/2013 7:41:35 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daedricrelic

Its really not the option I like either... I'm submissive, losing myself in serving my master is sort of my thing. The best option would likely be no relationships until I work on some things.

Things began to go wrong when some bad decisions led to money troubles. Then the burden of my being diagnosed with mental illness and him with physical troubles. It culminated when he had me involuntarily hospitalized after not giving me my medication for a week and when I was released I was told everything was over.

A rather shitty end to something that once was good.

Mmmm. I suspect the deeper one digs here the more it will look, smell, feel and taste like shit..... I heard enough I am moving on. So should you

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 4/7/2013 8:16:25 AM

Missokyst

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It has been my observation that people call things a break when they want it to be over, but they are too chickenshit to be honest about it. It also leaves room for the occasional fuck when nothing else is going on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daedricrelic

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I have kept passing the title of your thread and re-reading your OP. Your title says he told you that the two of you "were on a break." But your OP indicates it's over. So which is it, really?

He calls it a break. I call the whole situation ridiculous and can't imagine why I would want to wait around for him to want me again after all that has happened.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 4/8/2013 9:37:52 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Bull shit.

My mother is still grieving the loss of her husband of 36 years. I'm not sure that she'll ever be over him or in another relationship. Should I tell her to let it go since it was just a vanilla relationship and therefore couldn't possibly have been that deep?

I think it's totally different. Of course your mom will grieve for the husband she loves, just like she would grieve if she lost a child too.
But there are boundaries with each other you don't cross in a vanilla relationship, where you would in a bdsm relationship, it's totally different.
And I wouldn't compare "how long a person grief" as a gauge of how deep the relationship was. I mean, a parent could be not close to his or her child and could grieve forever too, if that child was lost. It's nothing to do with the level of depth.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 4/8/2013 9:38:44 AM >

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 4/8/2013 9:51:35 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
It's how those two people relate to each other that determines the depth of the relationship.

bingo. In other words, it is the actual relationship which makes the relationship not some label that stuck on it or some decision making process applied within it.

I can't really imagine how or why my marriage would become "more shallow" if I eventually decide to release her (well... and actually succeed at that LOL). It seems to me that it'll still be the Carol & Jeff show and we'll still be doing our best to make each other happy.

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 4/8/2013 6:25:51 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Bull shit.

My mother is still grieving the loss of her husband of 36 years. I'm not sure that she'll ever be over him or in another relationship. Should I tell her to let it go since it was just a vanilla relationship and therefore couldn't possibly have been that deep?

I think it's totally different. Of course your mom will grieve for the husband she loves, just like she would grieve if she lost a child too.
But there are boundaries with each other you don't cross in a vanilla relationship, where you would in a bdsm relationship, it's totally different.
And I wouldn't compare "how long a person grief" as a gauge of how deep the relationship was. I mean, a parent could be not close to his or her child and could grieve forever too, if that child was lost. It's nothing to do with the level of depth.

This may be the case for you, but it certainly isn't the case for everyone and shame on you for even saying so.

BDSM relationships aren't "deeper" and any "boundaries" that are found are those within yourself. In a good relationship, vanilla or kinky, there are no boundaries.

I'm sad for you that you don't see that. I can see that it would certainly make all your relationships much less.

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 4/8/2013 7:51:02 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I think it's totally different. Of course your mom will grieve for the husband she loves, just like she would grieve if she lost a child too.
But there are boundaries with each other you don't cross in a vanilla relationship, where you would in a bdsm relationship, it's totally different.

Every relationship has boundaries. You'd be surprised where those lines can be in "vanilla" relationships. Honesty, intimacy and intensity can be just as strong (or weak) in any kind of relationship - it's really up to the people in them.

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 7/17/2013 1:10:43 AM

lobster123

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Find another master

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RE: My Master abruptly set me loose and said we're on a... - 7/23/2013 7:22:07 AM

imtempting

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I always find it funny how people thing this lifestyle is different to a normal dating/marriage/de-facto scene. Grow up and get with reality.

@the OP, I do feel sorry for you. If your on meds, I am hoping your still taking them. Maybe see a doctor and maybe get into some schooling or get a job if you have not got on. A job is a good confidence builder especially on payday.

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