What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme?

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What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/7/2013 11:11:42 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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First, I hope the other similar post I made in Ask a Mistress gets deleted and not this one. I had second thoughts about where I should have posted it and was made aware this would be the better spot for it. Anyway......

There is a thread in Ask a Mistress right now called What Skills? about what the Dommes would like in a sub, so I want to ask, if the subs here could say "The Mistress/Domme I want should be.....(fill in the blank)," what all would you put in that blank?? Lets here it from the subs.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 4/7/2013 11:12:07 PM >

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/8/2013 12:53:31 AM

thezeppo

Posts: 441
Joined: 11/15/2012
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I am only basing this on reading profiles on the other side, but interested in who I am rather than what I am/will provide is a big one.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/8/2013 8:56:24 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Your comment got me thinking. Women are inundated with guys who are constantly talking about all the ways a mistress will "torture" them sexually. Men, both here and the other side, regularly hear how women want someone who performs this, that and the other service. This is excluding the "findomme" little girls who are simply out to make a buck.

Where I see the problem is that, on the face of things, some women may be forgetting that male subs are people with feelings, or that they are going to the opposite extreme and talking only about service to try to ram the point home that it isn't all about sex.

(in reply to thezeppo)

Post #: 3

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/8/2013 2:35:41 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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LL, I can see that too.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/8/2013 4:25:47 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

"The Mistress/Domme I want should be.....compatible with me."

A sadist with a sense of humor I get and who gets mine. Somebody I communicate well with, whose interests, both vanilla and non vanilla are compatible with mine.

Sorry, I don't put to many "musts" on the list. My feeling is the "musts" somebody uses to describe an unmet potential partner, the less likely he is ever to meet somebody who fits those "musts."

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 5

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/10/2013 9:14:24 AM

alildifferent

Posts: 38
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline

Dominate me only AFTER I submit. I hate folks who try to order me around before even meeting me and expecting me to do as told then go off on a hairy bender when it doesn't happen. I'm not much for financial domination. For some reason it puts me off and I refuse to have anything to do with the idea. Also, No means NO. I do not appreciate being stalked or forced unless I agree to it before hand. Last of all Dominants who thrash a submissive to the point of destroying it or permanantly damage them are poor dominants indeed. It makes no sense to me. These people give themselves to you almost completely and you destroy them. That's like buying a pencil then immediately snapping it. Both are your property for a purpose yet you waste the opportunity.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/10/2013 11:01:53 AM

submandibular

Posts: 40
Joined: 4/14/2012
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I'm a sucker for intelligence and class.

(in reply to alildifferent)

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/10/2013 10:01:35 PM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
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In a mistress/domme? Shoot... this thread doesn't apply to me :( I'm not interested in submitting to a woman since I know what went on in my head for years and, frankly, I'd be terrified to be anywhere near a woman with any kind of power over me.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/10/2013 10:37:05 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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Thank you everyone for your responses. :) I like hearing what's really important to each of you. :)

NBMG

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/14/2013 3:32:51 PM

Tuub

Posts: 79
Joined: 2/5/2013
Status: offline

Probably someone that can guide my life, someone worth living... But it depends on the person...

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/14/2013 6:21:18 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

Three words: Compatibility and proximity.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 11

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/14/2013 7:39:55 PM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline

Attraction, affection, mutual interests, respect, intellect and a healthy interest in (frequently) jumping my bones.

Oh, and kinky.

Perhaps I have been less than clear :

quote:

From my profile
I want what everyone wants. An attractive lover who wants (most of) what I want. Go on. Tell me you are looking for anyone else. And I will predict with confidence you are yanking my chain.

It seems obvious from this end of the telescope... but maybe it isn't.

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(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/14/2013 8:59:21 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Attraction, affection, mutual interests, respect, intellect and a healthy interest in (frequently) jumping my bones.

Oh, and kinky.

That's great!

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

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Post #: 13

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/14/2013 9:22:46 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: alildifferent

Dominate me only AFTER I submit. I hate folks who try to order me around before even meeting me and expecting me to do as told then go off on a hairy bender when it doesn't happen. I'm not much for financial domination. For some reason it puts me off and I refuse to have anything to do with the idea. Also, No means NO. I do not appreciate being stalked or forced unless I agree to it before hand. Last of all Dominants who thrash a submissive to the point of destroying it or permanantly damage them are poor dominants indeed. It makes no sense to me. These people give themselves to you almost completely and you destroy them. That's like buying a pencil then immediately snapping it. Both are your property for a purpose yet you waste the opportunity.

I agree with you, yet it doesn't seem to stop countless s-types from sending messages where by their words they are already groveling little worms (whether the one they message is looking for that or not).

I don't engage in "kink talk" or even dominant/sub stuff when I am first talking to someone. If someone sends me an email that interests me but they have done that, I will write back and explain I don't care for honorifics and I would like to get to know them as a person first before anything else is discussed. That has ended a lot of conversations.

(in reply to alildifferent)

Post #: 14

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/14/2013 9:23:49 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

I heard cash was quite effective.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 15

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/14/2013 9:25:08 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submandibular

I'm a sucker for intelligence and class.

(Fuck....a guy can't get a freaking break anymore).

(in reply to submandibular)

Post #: 16

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/30/2013 6:54:53 PM

wannapleez

Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

Late to the party, but I'll throw in my USD0.02:

There are two main things that I want in a Domme.

1. to know that she cares about me (not that she's in love, but has some kind of affection towards me)
2. to know that she appreciates my service

Those are the main things. They're not deal-breakers, but without both, I'm not going to be as eager to serve, nor will there be nearly as much depth to the relationship. With both, she can be extremely demanding, and I'll eat it up, secure in the knowledge that I'm appreciated and cared for.

3. The one other thing that I really like is creativity.

Now that doesn't mean that every time is a new, more intense BDSM experience, but rather that it's not the same thing all the time. With my most recent Domme, I have had experiences with decent lengths of time in sub-space and other experiences that would look entirely vanilla to an outside observer. And both extremes and everything in between are equally satisfying to me and all fall under the auspices of a Domme/sub relationship.

I told her that one of my favorite things about coming to see her was that "I never know what the hell to expect when I'm with you." The only thing that was common to all my times with her was the requirement to strip as soon as I walked in the door.

(Actually, I take that back. There was even one time where that didn't even happen. Because she made me strip on the front porch and then wait another 30 seconds holding my clothes before she let me in.)

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 17

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 4/30/2013 10:50:07 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez
(Actually, I take that back. There was even one time where that didn't even happen. Because she made me strip on the front porch and then wait another 30 seconds holding my clothes before she let me in.)

OMG! Did the neighbors see it?? lol

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to wannapleez)

Post #: 18

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/2/2013 6:37:32 PM

wannapleez

Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez
(Actually, I take that back. There was even one time where that didn't even happen. Because she made me strip on the front porch and then wait another 30 seconds holding my clothes before she let me in.)

OMG! Did the neighbors see it?? lol

No, but there was a risk. She has no house across from her and a big fence next to her. But she's on the corner lot right at the front of her subdivision, so anyone entering or leaving it would have to pass her house.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 19

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/2/2013 6:46:41 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

lol

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

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Post #: 20

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