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Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 12:37:10 PM

breagha

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Last night i attended my first munch for the area that i live in. All the people were super welcoming and great. I was asked to go to a play party that they host. i declined for the one they are having tonight but said i might be interested in going to one ( if i got permission to go ) and started asking a few questions. Everything seemed to be good until they started talking about how drunk they get at these play parties.

My question today is... How many of you who attend or host play parties allow alcohol at them? i've not been to a play party in quite a while but the ones i have attended had a pretty strict policy regarding alcohol. It just seems a tad unsafe to me to be doing the things that they ( we ? ) do in regard to BDSM and be drunk while doing it.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 12:40:46 PM

DarkSteven

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I can see allowing alcohol at parties if the drinkers are spectators only.

The parties we attend DO allow alcohol, on a BYOB basis. Anyone acting drunk will be asked to leave and not return. That said, I've only heard of one instance of someone drinking at none of them, in three years. The fact that he got drunk and belligerent and got removed, will do nothing to popularize drinking at future parties.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 1:13:19 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breagha
My question today is... How many of you who attend or host play parties allow alcohol at them? i've not been to a play party in quite a while but the ones i have attended had a pretty strict policy regarding alcohol. It just seems a tad unsafe to me to be doing the things that they ( we ? ) do in regard to BDSM and be drunk while doing it.

The Lair allows alcohol.

They also assume that you're an adult and will be responsible about your consumption and your activities.

And you can have all the strict policies that you'd like, it will not stop people from drinking or doing drugs.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 4/13/2013 1:17:27 PM >

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 1:17:54 PM

Hillwilliam

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I don't drink at all if I'm playing (until it's over)
I don't drink more than 2 if I'm the driver.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 1:23:29 PM

LadyPact

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If I may, I would like to remind that a drink is not the same as drunk.

Do I mind if someone has a drink with dinner before the party starts? No. It's not like they are doing poppers by the handful the way they did back in the eighties. As with most other things, I expect people to be adults and make their own adult choices. I host and I'm a competent dungeon monitor, but I don't babysit.

At Leather and Lace, we have hosted both types of events. If alcohol consumption is permitted, we restrict that to a twenty-one and over only event. We will only do eighteen and up if alcohol is prohibited. It keeps My ass out of the fire from the legal aspect.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 1:57:01 PM

ResidentSadist

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I host play parties and allow alcohol at them. In fact, some of the M/s protocol is slaves serving drinks and some of the bondage is human margarita drink dispensers bound up in and wrapped with clear plastic tubing and icy drinks flowing through them.

However, my attendees aren't newbees, They are aware that things like aspirin and alcohol are harmful for those receiving trauma. Bruising is worse, people bleed profusely etc.

So I allow alcohol but I don't allow idiots, assholes or unmentored newbees.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 2:29:40 PM

UllrsIshtar

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The BDSM club I used to work at (www.fetish-cafe.com) has a full service bar. It what they use to pay the rent and stuff so they can keep admission fees down.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 2:46:59 PM

ResidentSadist

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^ Case in point, I never have seen a leather bar that didn't have a bar in it.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 2:54:59 PM

subsfaith

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The organizers trust their patrons to hit each other, but not to control their alcohol intake?

It serves to remind me how stupid some people are.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 2:57:02 PM

FelineRanger

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I volunteer at one play party in Philly and have visited the other one. The one I volunteer for operates out of the upstairs of a restaurant the restaurant has a bartender on duty while we play. The other one has a full bar downstairs but doesn't allow drinks in the play area upstairs.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 3:04:19 PM

UllrsIshtar

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The club I used to work doesn't allow drinks in the play space either. Not cause of the alcohol but because the risk of a glass falling and breaking in a space where half the people are regularly barefooted.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 3:25:48 PM

zpenguin

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The play parties I've been to, only 2 have not allowed drinking on site. You could drink off site prior and come in but not be "Drunk" or obviously under the influence of drugs. I actually prefer it that way honestly. Call me crazy but I just like it that way. Now the munches usually are at a bar/grill so drinking obviously is allowed there.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 3:27:31 PM

FelineRanger

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At the play party where I volunteer, the drinks are served mostly in plastic cups to avoid broken glass. Only bottled beer gets left in the original containers.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 3:45:17 PM

LeatherBentOne51

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I attended play parties in NY when I lived in NJ. Only members could attend and a newcomer had to be brought in by a good-standing member. We all paid dues as the building was rented and Mistress Suzie had spend much of her own money to furnish and renovate the area for play. No alcohol was served or brought in by members.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 3:50:34 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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Well, I have been at play parties that don't allow alcohol and those that do. Myself, I will not drink and play, but that's just me, plus I am usually driving so I don't drink for that reason also. But I also realize that ONE drink is not going to render a person completely idiotic and irresponsible in most cases. The problem comes in when people have alcohol issues and can't control their intake. I don't Top while drinking and I don't play with bottoms that have been. Just my choice. I don't put down those that do though.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 3:54:49 PM

FrostedFlake

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I haven't yet been to a munch that wasn't at an establishment that served alcohol. But, I have yet to note anyone at the munch actually drinking it. The after-munch party also features a lack of alcohol, but this is intentional. I can't say whether the hosts are averse to drink in and of itself, but they do seem averse to people they don't know all that well getting... shall we say clumsy... while playing with other folks the hosts don't know all that well, in their home. And everyone, of course, drives home.

Centralia is a small town. I'm sure things are different, all over.

Personal opinion? Some folks handle themselves well, others poorly. By the time you find out who is who, it's already a problem. If the hosts want to avoid that problem, I defer. Particularly in light of the small town atmosphere. The point, after all, is to meet folks. Hopefully, folks you like. And you can have a beer when you get home, if that's what you want to do.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 3:57:33 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
The problem comes in when people have alcohol issues and can't control their intake.

If someone has alcohol issues (or drug) having a rule that prohibits it won't stop them from imbibing. It only changes where and how they're imbibing.

And just because a venue allows alcohol, doesn't mean that they tolerate drunkeness.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 4/13/2013 3:58:43 PM >

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 4:35:05 PM

HarryVanWinkle

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A few years ago, I decided to give my liver a break for the rest of my life so I don't use intoxicants. Ever since I stopped using them, I've found I have very little tolerance for people who are under the influence. In any venue, if people start acting drunk or stoned, I leave.

Would I play with somebody who has had a drink or toke? I might. It would depend on how it influences her and how much I trust her.

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 4:39:15 PM

njlauren

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The standard mantra in BD/SM circles often has been no drinking when playing, etc. There can be problem at play parties with alcohol but that is the legal issues, like if it is a public play party and they charge admission, technically that is commercial and if selling alcohol you would need someone with a caterer's license to serve it. If it is a private party, of a club or person running it, then no license is needed.

I think there is a difference between drinking and drunkenness, and if people want to imbibe and play it should be their right. As long as you have competent DM's, who can spot if someone has been drinking too much and stop them from playing, then it should be okay. I have heard some argue that if people want to get drunk and play, that is their business, the libertarian line, but that is foolish, because if something happens, it could bring down a lot of shit on the people sponsoring the party (no, folks, signing a disclaimer absolving those running it doesn't shield you from liability, it is legally almost useless). The other thing that the parties I went to made sure was that people going into the play area to watch weren't drunk either, because drunken spectators can cause problems, interfere in scenes and so forth.

I think it is important to understand the risks of playing if you have drank more then a bit of alcohol, not just in things getting out of hand, but potential physiological problems, but that is simply part of using what brains you are supposed to have:). Me, I used to wait until after playing to have something, I kind of enjoyed it a lot more, but that was me:)

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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 6:00:48 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
If someone has alcohol issues (or drug) having a rule that prohibits it won't stop them from imbibing. It only changes where and how they're imbibing.

And just because a venue allows alcohol, doesn't mean that they tolerate drunkeness.

Yes, I realize there is a difference between allowing alcohol and tolerating drunkenness. I never said there wasn't. I don't know what it's like at other play parties but, I know at the ones I go to if there is someone actually drunk when they show up there, they will be told to turn around and leave. The DM's watch the alcohol consumption very closely at the parties. If someone is getting too close to drunk when they're there, they're cut off. Otherwise, what they do on their own time and in their own place is no one else's business.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 4/13/2013 6:02:31 PM >

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