Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Double talk??


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Double talk?? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 7:23:58 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Mew, your situations are different.  You're in different places in your relationships.  Yes, going through is emails is wrong, no one is justifying her actions anymore than they did yours.  But there is a time and a place and she has a little more on the plate that you did when you asked your question.  There's time enough to remind her that she shouldn't have snooped.
She's far too hurt and angry to hear that right now.  You, however, have been in a non-sexual, non-slave relationship with the man for five years.  You've known about his seeing other women for five years.  You're not in the initial shock of things, she is.  Your relationship has been dead for a long, long time.  You know it, you just are having trouble acknowledging it.  Riotgirl and her master have had their ups and downs, but it wasn't a dead relationship until just recently.  I hope that you can understand the difference, rather than being bitchy because what was said to you wasn't said to her.  Not sure how old you are, but stop acting like you're 12.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to JessieMe)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 7:36:37 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mew

I didn't want to highjack riotgirl's thread, so I am posting here in a new one. 
 
It seems to me there is a lot of double talk going on here, regarding going through your Master's email. 
 
I have to ask how a Master breaks your trust?   If he does it in front of you, is he not being honest?    If he does it behind your back, how would you know?  
 
Everyone told me it was "just wrong to go through your Master's email", yet everyone is telling her, "bravo".   
 
Either I am just plain stupid, or I am having a major brain fart this morning, because I really don't get it.    If you sense something isn't right in the relationship, don't you owe it to yourself to find out the truth if your not getting it from Master?   
 
I think many here are giving mixed advice. 
~mew~


mew,
Predators, frauds, posers, and foreployers; hope that all the submissives have your beliefs regarding a "master". As long as submissives don't expect the same honest disclosure as is required of them, the situation that you refer, that generated your question will continue. Ultimately, whether it takes years, as is the case you refer, or days; the poser will show their true nature and we'll see more threads about being "hurt" and lied to.

The question if I would I release beth if she went through my "personal" email is based upon a false reality. I have no "personal" email or files. When I say that people contemplating a relationship should be naked in front of each other, it goes for BOTH parties; including and perhaps especially the Master. If a slave doesn't think they have seen their Master naked they have the potential of the same negative result. Is it an issue? Just look at all the posts here by submissives asking for suggestions concerning a problem or issue with their Master's behavior. They ask nameless/faceless strangers for anonymous advice when the answer they need is lying in bed next to them. If that person responds to every question or request to communicate by hiding behind "Master's privilege"; maybe now they'll consider the example you are referring to ask why it is so.

When address trust and honesty issues the parties in a Master/slave existence must have equal status. Private emails, or the need for private emails from either indicate that trust issues still exist. But let's say even with all my representations beth discovers a Merc secret existence or secret profile seeking her replacement, it would be me that caused our relationship to fail, not her. The manner of discovery would not be material.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 6/24/2006 7:39:19 AM >

(in reply to mew)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 7:44:15 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
The question if I would I release beth if she went through my "personal" email is based upon a false reality. I have no "personal" email or files. When I say that people contemplating a relationship should be naked in front of each other, it goes for BOTH parties; including and perhaps especially the Master. If a slave doesn't think they have seen their Master naked they have the potential of the same negative result. Is it an issue? Just look at all the posts here by submissives asking for suggestions concerning a problem or issue with their Master's behavior. They ask nameless/faceless strangers for anonymous advice when the answer they need is lying in bed next to them. If that person responds to every question or request to communicate by hiding behind "Master's privilege"; maybe now they'll consider the example you are referring to ask why it is so.

When address trust and honesty issues the parties in a Master/slave existence must have equal status. Private emails, or the need for private emails from either indicate that trust issues still exist.


Oh Merc.....thank you.....thank you....thank you.....thank you

Relationships that have a need for such "personal" spaces are not really built on a very open and honest foundation that is likely to foster any depth of genuine trust are they?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 7:48:09 AM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

mew,
Predators, frauds, posers, and foreployers; hope that all the submissives have your beliefs regarding a "master". As long as submissives don't expect the same honest disclosure as is required of them, the situation that you refer, that generated your question will continue. Ultimately, whether it takes years, as is the case you refer, or days; the poser will show their true nature and we'll see more threads about being "hurt" and lied to.

The question if I would I release beth if she went through my "personal" email is based upon a false reality. I have no "personal" email or files. When I say that people contemplating a relationship should be naked in front of each other, it goes for BOTH parties; including and perhaps especially the Master. If a slave doesn't think they have seen their Master naked they have the potential of the same negative result. Is it an issue? Just look at all the posts here by submissives asking for suggestions concerning a problem or issue with their Master's behavior. They ask nameless/faceless strangers for anonymous advice when the answer they need is lying in bed next to them. If that person responds to every question or request to communicate by hiding behind "Master's privilege"; maybe now they'll consider the example you are referring to ask why it is so.

When address trust and honesty issues the parties in a Master/slave existence must have equal status. Private emails, or the need for private emails from either indicate that trust issues still exist. But let's say even with all my representations beth discovers a Merc secret existence or secret profile seeking her replacement, it would be me that caused our relationship to fail, not her. The manner of discovery would not be material.


Your post just proved why all the good Masters are taken. My congrats go out to both of you and extra ones to beth!

Nina

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 8:07:14 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It would take too long to go into the history behind Riot and the perception she has been able to cultivate about herself over time in order to provoke the reaction SHE got versus the reaction YOU got.

And, as you've seen, it's not nearly as black and white as your post assumes either.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mew)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 8:14:13 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Relationships that have a need for such "personal" spaces are not really built on a very open and honest foundation that is likely to foster any depth of genuine trust are they?


You know, I've been wanting to say something to that effect, but couldn't find the words... I have several email accounts (each for a different purpose - one for family, one for junk mail when I sign up for stuff, etc etc)
 
cubby and nomi know my passwords... when I'm in pain and bedridden for a few days, I'll ask one of them to log on and see if anything important is posted, etc. I usually have nothing to hide (except surprise scenes, or birthday parties, etc - why I said usually). If I am hiding something, I simply tell them not to log onto my accounts until further notice, and they trust me because they have a REASON TO.
 
I also know cubby and nomi's passwords and am allowed to log on wherever they go (if I feel the desire to)... Now we're each dynamic individuals, and have different interests... cubby loves anime and hentai... nomi writes fanfiction/slash, and creates tags/avatars for people... sometimes they call me to their computer, or ask that I log onto various places they visit, because we SHARE our lives. 
 
If I was concerned that one of them were doing something I wouldn't approve of, I'd feel justified in looking for it... but see, that is built into our relationship from the foundation up... we are so free and open that it's exceptionally rare for one of us to hide anything...
 
I can't imagine living in a relationship where I cannot trust nomi and cubs... I just can't.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 8:24:10 AM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		It takes a lifetime to build a strong honest trusting relationship.  It takes a few e-mails and phone calls without the others knowledge to destroy it.  Honesty is worth its weight in gold. 

LOKI


_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 8:27:19 AM   
cubbyMystC


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		i agree totally with my Mystress. and not just because She is my Mystress. it comes from the fact of the 7 years that we have been together and all the ugly things that we have been through unfortunately, that have proven to us that we have nothing to hide from each other. i mean even my entire hard rive is shared on the network of the house. anybody can have acess to anything that is on there. just like Mystress' and nomi's as well. if we have questions we ASK nt just bottle it up inside and never say anything.

_____________________________

"Happily serving my Mystress for over 8 years with open mind, heart, and spirit. Through Her collar i am free......."

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 11:35:03 AM   
Entrancer


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		Whenever you give your heart to someone, you take a risk of being hurt.  It is inevitable; you can’t have one without the other.  However, what about the other side of the coin?  If you suspect your trust has been violated, you will be hurt and upset.  It seems to me though, that if your suspicions are not true, you should be very careful in how you deal with your suspicions, or you risk not only transferring those negative emotions to your partner, but making the situation worse for yourself.

If you have suspicions, it seems there are three options available:
a)      Do nothing, hold the suspicions within you, and try to ignore it.  However, this doesn’t help, as it will probably eat away at you, resulting in all sorts of potential negative consequences.
b)      Talk about it without doing any investigation first.  (I’ll get back to this one).
c)      Try to confirm your suspicions (it is almost impossible to prove a negative, so let’s face it…the only relevant purpose of doing things like reading emails is to confirm your suspicion) and then discuss it.  But think about this…if you believe that whatever you do to confirm your suspicion would be viewed as an “invasion” by your partner, then aren’t you violating that trust yourself?  If so, and THEY find out about it, how do you think THEY will feel?  Particularly if your suspicions are NOT true?  And if you can’t confirm your suspicion, shouldn’t you feel guilty yourself for doing something behind their back that you know or believe would upset them?  How does that make you any better than what you suspect of them?  (It’s only a matter of degree.) What will that do to your self-esteem and self-image?  And will the suspicion go away simply because you can’t confirm it?

OK, so let’s go back to talking about it.  You can take the direct approach…”Are you having an affair?”  Is that really a question, or an accusation couched as a question?  How would you feel if your partner asked you that, out of the blue?

So…how about something like this?  “I know you have had to work late a lot the last month, and I really want to be supportive.  But I’m bothered by the fact that the fear keeps creeping in that you might be having an affair.  I know I should trust you, and it bothers me that this fear keeps creeping in.  I also know that I wouldn’t be subject to that fear if I didn’t care so much, and the fear is really acknowledgement of that because I imagine how devastated I would be if it were true.  I thought I should share that with you.”  No accusation here, explicit or implied.  And…not a single word is (or should be) untrue.  Again, place yourself in the other person’s shoes.  If they said that to you, what would be your reaction vs. the other way of broaching it?

This isn’t a D/s issue; it’s a relationship issue.  The real question is this: At what point will you allow your fears to erode your personal integrity?  Even if your “investigation” “proves” your suspicion, does the end (confirmation) justify the means (loss of personal integrity)?

_____________________________

"No matter where you go, there you are."
-Buckaroo Banzai

(in reply to mew)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 12:07:56 PM   
ArdentOne


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		I believe alot of people operate under the presumption that if thier suspicions are proved true, then any invasion or breach of trust they commit would be vindicated.  I think its something they choose to think about after such an invasion occurs.  Granted, if the relationship is a deep and long term one, there shouldn't be any rocks to look under.  Ideally, in such a relationship, there would be nothing hidden and therefore no place to snoop about in.  But I have yet to experience such ideal circumstances in my life so that point may very well be moot.  Also, there is this fear that can arise that actually speaks more about the person experiencing it than the the object of such fear.  This is a gray, muddy area.  Nothing clear cut can be affirmed about it as the permutations of relationships are as unfathomable as the vehement acertations that there is any appreciable difference between coral, peach and pink.

(in reply to Entrancer)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 12:45:22 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mew
I didn't want to highjack riotgirl's thread, so I am posting here in a new one.  
 It seems to me there is a lot of double talk going on here, regarding going through your Master's email.  
 I have to ask how a Master breaks your trust?   If he does it in front of you, is he not being honest?    If he does it behind your back, how would you know?  
 Everyone told me it was "just wrong to go through your Master's email", yet everyone is telling her, "bravo".    
 Either I am just plain stupid, or I am having a major brain fart this morning, because I really don't get it.    If you sense something isn't right in the relationship, don't you owe it to yourself to find out the truth if your not getting it from Master?    
 I think many here are giving mixed advice.
 mew~



I still believe it’s wrong to go through someone else’s email.
I thought you were wrong for doing it.
I think she was wrong for doing it.
No double talk from me at all.
If it’s wrong, it’s wrong.
Period.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to mew)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 1:17:17 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

I still believe it’s wrong to go through someone else’s email.
I thought you were wrong for doing it.
I think she was wrong for doing it.
No double talk from me at all.
If it’s wrong, it’s wrong.
Period.

 
I agree! Mew, if you notice I did post on Riotgirls thread about her being wrong to go through his email. No double talk from me either. What I see as wrong on one persons post is not going to be right on another. No matter the circumstances.

_____________________________





(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 1:24:12 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: mew
I didn't want to highjack riotgirl's thread, so I am posting here in a new one.  
 It seems to me there is a lot of double talk going on here, regarding going through your Master's email.  
 I have to ask how a Master breaks your trust?   If he does it in front of you, is he not being honest?    If he does it behind your back, how would you know?  
 Everyone told me it was "just wrong to go through your Master's email", yet everyone is telling her, "bravo".    
 Either I am just plain stupid, or I am having a major brain fart this morning, because I really don't get it.    If you sense something isn't right in the relationship, don't you owe it to yourself to find out the truth if your not getting it from Master?    
 I think many here are giving mixed advice.
 mew~



I still believe it’s wrong to go through someone else’s email.
I thought you were wrong for doing it.
I think she was wrong for doing it.
No double talk from me at all.
If it’s wrong, it’s wrong.
Period.

I agree.  As I stated in my post to you on your thread, I don't think anyone has the right to go through another's e-mail/files/private papers/mail/wallet/purse/etc..

I admire what Mercandbeth have but while I applaud being honest with my partner and want it from my partner, I still believe in the idea of a certain amount of privacy.  And that is not related to Master's privilege or anything else along those lines, it is related to trust.  If you trust me enough to submit to me and I trust your submission to me and I see no evidence of duplicity, then why would I suddenly see a need to check your email?  Why would you see one to check mine?  I am not saying to have blind trust...having had one submissive dump me without warning AND in light of my own behavior at the end of my marriage...I know that no human is perfect.  But as Entrancer notes, there is something to be said about confronting valid fears with the one you share a relationship with versus a jaunt through their stuff without their knowledge. 

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 2:02:12 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		General reply:

I dont think that being involved in an open and honest relationship means that either party gives up a right to any/all personal privacy.  Sometimes even in the best circumstances, people still like to maintain a sense of privacy, whether its a diary, a fantasy, or whatever.  To maintain such, does not equate dishonesty in my eyes. 

However, In riot's case, I can understand having gone through his mail.  There comes a time (and we've all been there, i think) when we're crushed and we need the truth and we need closure,  in order to move on.  If the person who hurt you isnt willing to tell you what they've done behind your back, then she has to get it in by another means.  Anything short of illegal is fair game when a person is left in a spot like this.  In a perfect, ideal, prissy little world filled with rainbows and butterflies, its unethical to invade your parnters privacy.  The judgement call  looks so good on paper, so easy to say its wrong, so easy to act like we're above it.  But she's fucked over,  the world isnt perfect, there is no fairytale in riot's life right now,  and sometimes  you do what you have to do to preserve your sanity. Id do the same thing---in a heartbeat---and not have a problem sleeping because of it.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 2:11:10 PM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

If there is suspicion. it must be confronted--for sneaking around when one thinks someone is sneaking around IMHO has no justification.
for the record... she did confront him with her suspicions once... and she said she was caned and beaten for doing so... I think that would be enough for any girl to -not- voice her opinions or concerns again when in an abusive relationship.

As far as the email thing goes... I stand by My first statement in the other thread... I think sneaky bastards should be found out, and deserve whatever consequences come from such... If there was trust to begin with, she wouldn't have to snoop...

Same here as with Merc and beth... I have no "personal" email... beth has all My passwords... and can go through any of My accounts for mail or archives whenever she chooses... I have absolutely nothing to hide from her and vice versa. What makes this dynamic work though, is the fact that we -don't- have to go through each others mail.... because we actually -can- do it.

thats where the trust comes in.

and if I were to hide something... and she found out... then I would deal with the consequences afterwards like a man.

T.R.

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 2:22:34 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: mew
I didn't want to highjack riotgirl's thread, so I am posting here in a new one.  
 It seems to me there is a lot of double talk going on here, regarding going through your Master's email.  
 I have to ask how a Master breaks your trust?   If he does it in front of you, is he not being honest?    If he does it behind your back, how would you know?  
 Everyone told me it was "just wrong to go through your Master's email", yet everyone is telling her, "bravo".    
 Either I am just plain stupid, or I am having a major brain fart this morning, because I really don't get it.    If you sense something isn't right in the relationship, don't you owe it to yourself to find out the truth if your not getting it from Master?    
 I think many here are giving mixed advice.
 mew~



I still believe it’s wrong to go through someone else’s email.
I thought you were wrong for doing it.
I think she was wrong for doing it.
No double talk from me at all.
If it’s wrong, it’s wrong.
Period.

I agree.  As I stated in my post to you on your thread, I don't think anyone has the right to go through another's e-mail/files/private papers/mail/wallet/purse/etc..

I admire what Mercandbeth have but while I applaud being honest with my partner and want it from my partner, I still believe in the idea of a certain amount of privacy.  And that is not related to Master's privilege or anything else along those lines, it is related to trust.  If you trust me enough to submit to me and I trust your submission to me and I see no evidence of duplicity, then why would I suddenly see a need to check your email?  Why would you see one to check mine?  I am not saying to have blind trust...having had one submissive dump me without warning AND in light of my own behavior at the end of my marriage...I know that no human is perfect.  But as Entrancer notes, there is something to be said about confronting valid fears with the one you share a relationship with versus a jaunt through their stuff without their knowledge. 


this slave has stated before on other threads that her perspective related to this issue is this:  it is impossible for Master to "cheat", lie, be unfaithful, go behind her back, keep things from her unjustly, etc. because from HER point of view, this slave is a posession of Master, not the other way around.  this slave does not REQUIRE complete disclosure from Him as to His whereabouts, His activities, His proclivities, His past, etc. If He decided to confide in or involve His slave in any of those things, that is GRAVY, not a requirement and certainly not a mutually agreed upon stipulation or else...
 
this slave did not and never will demand or have to "figure out" His secrets...passwords or otherwise...this slave's perspective of our relationship dynamic prohibits it, as that would not be conduct becoming THIS slave.  on the other hand, this slave is completely open to Him, there is nothing secret, nothing hidden from Master......one sided?  from this slave's perspective, not at all.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 2:56:56 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

You know, I've been wanting to say something to that effect, but couldn't find the words... I have several email accounts (each for a different purpose - one for family, one for junk mail when I sign up for stuff, etc etc)
 
cubby and nomi know my passwords... when I'm in pain and bedridden for a few days, I'll ask one of them to log on and see if anything important is posted, etc. I usually have nothing to hide (except surprise scenes, or birthday parties, etc - why I said usually). If I am hiding something, I simply tell them not to log onto my accounts until further notice, and they trust me because they have a REASON TO.
 
I also know cubby and nomi's passwords and am allowed to log on wherever they go (if I feel the desire to)... Now we're each dynamic individuals, and have different interests... cubby loves anime and hentai... nomi writes fanfiction/slash, and creates tags/avatars for people... sometimes they call me to their computer, or ask that I log onto various places they visit, because we SHARE our lives. 
 
If I was concerned that one of them were doing something I wouldn't approve of, I'd feel justified in looking for it... but see, that is built into our relationship from the foundation up... we are so free and open that it's exceptionally rare for one of us to hide anything...
 
I can't imagine living in a relationship where I cannot trust nomi and cubs... I just can't.


It's this way at our house, too. Because of the size of our household, and the fact that we have many newcomers, financial information is kept "sacred" -- only the core Free have access to the passwords for the house accounts, and truly, only one of us does much with them. Other than that, everything is above-board. Everyone knows when we're vetting people, everyone knows when we're openly looking, when we're closed to new participants because our hands are full, who we're corresponding with, what we post to boards -- no secrets.

Especially because I have MS and an immune disorder that, when it flares, leaves me at the mercy of the household, everyone -has- to know what I'm doing, what needs to be cared for, what needs to be checked, which of the Temple accounts need to be checked for responses, etc. Not only that, but I wouldn't feel right in welcoming people as family and then having to hide things from them -- it just isn't our style.

ZWD

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 3:25:18 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
this slave has stated before on other threads that her perspective related to this issue is this:  it is impossible for Master to "cheat", lie, be unfaithful, go behind her back, keep things from her unjustly, etc. because from HER point of view, this slave is a posession of Master, not the other way around.  this slave does not REQUIRE complete disclosure from Him as to His whereabouts, His activities, His proclivities, His past, etc. If He decided to confide in or involve His slave in any of those things, that is GRAVY, not a requirement and certainly not a mutually agreed upon stipulation or else...
 
this slave did not and never will demand or have to "figure out" His secrets...passwords or otherwise...this slave's perspective of our relationship dynamic prohibits it, as that would not be conduct becoming THIS slave.  on the other hand, this slave is completely open to Him, there is nothing secret, nothing hidden from Master......one sided?  from this slave's perspective, not at all.


Hello beth,

My Master has access to my pc and all it contains .......I don't to his, nor have I ever thought about it. I simply don't need to know anything other than how he and I relate.

I DO have a private life....it contains my thoughts.......I don't feel obligated to share every fleeting thought with him, and I'm sure I drive him crazy enough with the ones he gets. He has access to my thoughts if he asks, though it could be likened to an *assault* sometimes......I have soo many of them..........lol

agirl

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 3:33:32 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mew

Either I am just plain stupid, or I am having a major brain fart this morning, because I really don't get it.    If you sense something isn't right in the relationship, don't you owe it to yourself to find out the truth if your not getting it from Master?   
 
I think many here are giving mixed advice.

You were both wrong to read someone else's mail.  How's that?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to mew)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Double talk?? - 6/24/2006 5:20:53 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Bah.

All is fair in love and war.

Whatever steps one must take to learn the truth, so be it...whether it be hacking and reading emails, hiring a detective, calling "The Cheaters" and having them dog your mate's footsteps with a camera crew, following your mate to his/her tryst with the 'other' woman/man, whatever it takes is whatever it takes to make you drop your blinders and see the reality so that you can begin to cope with it, so be it.

The trick is: to learn the truth, and then walk gracefully away from the situation once you've confirmed your worst suspicions.

Ahhhh, that's the hard part.

Flaming him or her online, confronting him or her ad infinitum whether in person or on the phone or elsewhere, blaming yourself, then him/her, then yourself again won't heal the wounds, only prolong the self torment.

I sympathize with Riot Girl's situation, empathize with her feelings, but there comes a time when ya gotta pick yerself up, dust yerself off, and start all over again.

TexasMaam



_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Double talk?? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125