njlauren
Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Missokyst
I think the FSF is a world unto itself. I once attended with a female friend of mine and some female came up to ask her if I could be loaned out for a short time.
Among people I do know I once attended a private party where a slave who was also a guest was told she must kneel and kiss the feet of all dominants who entered. I was with my dominant of just a year when we attended and I was not a happy camper to have our dynamic interrupted for some one elses play.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:
ORIGINAL: Missokyst
Yeah
I have seen this from dominants in the past. I went to the folsom street fair with a very nice (but not my) dominant male and at least 2 other dominants talked to him as if my opinion was not necessary. I assumed it was because they thought I belonged to him.
The situation that you described is why I try to keep the habit only with people that I know, rather than if I just think it might be the case.
Unless I was the slave of the people throwing the party, or unless my owner decided I should do this, I would tell the person where to stick their party and walk out. Lady Pact is correct about leather people, those into the full protocol and such, their relationships are bound by specific protocols and often subs or slaves are not supposed to even talk to others unless the M has given them permission, for example, and they certainly wouldn't be doing something for another person without permission, unless they were told something like "if a dominant makes a request of you, you are to obey it as you would me" or "you must respond to questions put to you by a dominant" and so forth. I never was in that kind of relationship, and if I as a sub was treated as if someone else had the right to do things with me, I was fully expected to tell them no, politely, and if they persisted, to tell them to go fuck themselves. The idea that a domme or dom is automatically 'over' any sub or slave is absolutely idiotic, unless that is allowed by their domme, expected by their dom/me, then it is a breach of manners, it is simply rude. I don't care whether someone is a leather titleholder or a self proclaimed Goddess, they don't have the right to do that. It doesn't mean I don't respect people and their titles or try to treat people with respect, but I would do that with anyone, domme or sub, I ran into:).
I have been at play events where there were some serious leather folk, like Lady P alludes to, and when it came to their slaves/subs, unless I was introduced and the M made clear it was okay to interact, I simply assumed it was off limits unless the s approached me or showed signs it was okay. If they were with their M, I would ask if it was okay to address their s, like if I wanted to compliment them on the way they looked or something. It is interesting, with the serious leatherfolk if I accidentally breached a protocol, as I occasionally did, they were very gracious when I explained I didn't realize the nature of their relationship and apologized and told them hopefully I didn't get their s in trouble. Several of them said that when they were in mixed space with people who didn't share their lifestyle, they never got upset unless someone was a jerk, like one stupid, sadistic woman who turned a lot of people's stomachs with the way she played (about as sensuous as watching a slave get whipped in the movie "Roots"), who thought nothing of grabbing someone's s and slapping them or something *grrr*......
As far as being something less, if I was looking for a D and someone treated me as inferior, unequal, etc, they would see my ass moving off pretty quickly. I guess my idea of submission is to find someone who respects me enough to want me to submit to them and appreciates my turning control over to them as much as I appreciate them allowing me to do that. The whole lowly worm, derided, humiliated sub does nothing for me, and humiliation to me would abrogate the contract as a breach of our agreement, since humiliation is a source of real pain to me.
< Message edited by njlauren -- 4/28/2013 8:16:13 PM >
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