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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

[...]and induced by outside forces.

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ORIGINAL: Aswad

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What you need to remember when talking about what you have "heard" here and elsewhere is that the stories, more often than not, are told by the ones who are arrested. Sorry, but they do tend to blow things out of proportion.

Of course. I'm noting a certain consistency, and a match with what's been said by other sources, but it's quite possible that- as you seem to claim- police usually don't do much on a DV call unless there's evidence that DV has taken place.

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Within the majority of the US, IF someone is arrested on domestic violence, the furthest they will go before trial is a county lock up.

The question being, do they go there without physical evidence being present?

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In other words, police remove the alleged offending party from the situation at hand, but mostly to give both parties time to calm down.

Again, quite fine, so long as there's physical evidence when police respond to the call.

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Restraining orders are issued on a temporary basis, and the accused is made to leave the premises.

Same as above. Fine, if there's evidence.

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Now of course, if the accused is stupid enough to make threats to their accuser while the police try to peacefully remove them, then that's on them, isn't it? Suffice to say, screaming, "I'm going to get you for this, you stupid bitch!" (just an example) kind of seals one's fate.

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True false arrests occur in less than 1% of cases, and actually convicting innocent people even less so. When you consider how many are actually arrested each year, that is a very, very small number. However, the media doesn't make a habit of saying, "In today's news, 10,000 people were arrested, had a fair trial and were convicted," you aren't going to hear anything but the problem cases, making it appear that mistakes are the norm, not the exception.

Never said mistakes are the norm.

However, if false arrests occur in less than 1% of cases, you're doing better than some of the best estimates I've seen for the human error bound (1.6% error rate as the minimum consistently achievable in any public- or publicly run- service over time). That casts doubts on the accuracy of the number. Basically, if you're always doing twice as well as humans can do over time, you're measuring your accuracy the wrong way.

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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Sure there was a way for him to protect himself. He could have not driven to his wife's workplace and publicly humiliated her and given the impression to others he was abusive.

There is no logical reason he couldn't have waited until she returned home from work. Sorry, but that is the way it is.

Even with a public defender, he could have not accepted a plea bargain and went to trial. He could have brought publicity to his case to show how the police have a tendency to overreact (if they truly do).

So is your comment about a 22 hour hold about that case, or many others? I lived in Florida for a bit, and worked for the DOC. I had not ONE DV case cross my desk and I saw close to 1,000 offenders each week. So I would say that things have recently changed (in the last 7 years), or it could be simply your county, but I doubt it.

Manatee County (Tampa) in Florida and Wayne County (Detroit) in Michigan is where I heard stories about the holds. Thanks for asking, my info is old so I looked it up. Apparently both are pro-arrest not mandatory.

For anyone that cares:
Domestic Violence Arrest Policies by State (2007 is most current I could find)

The thing about the kidnap story was that it ALL went wrong. I remember his telling the story and how he was so happy he landed a new gig so she didn't have to work anymore. Yes, he was being a bit macho telling her to quit at the office instead of waiting for her to come home or explaining better . . . but I can see myself in his place. If I had just won the lotto, I would be excited and go tell my spouse to quit work instead of asking her permission, waiting or whatever. In his case, he was just a vanilla dude in the music industry and they had been going through a rough patch financially, which is why she protested at first. I see both sides of that coin and why she was initially concerned, but the outcome was horrible and induced by outside forces.

Imagine some masochist telling stories and an outside force like a coworker overhears it and and calls the cops. Or some submissive after a bad breakup, they are talking on the phone to a friend and playing it up for sympathy while a family member overhears it. The police come and find a cross, cage, whips and chains in a dungeon . . . holy shit.

18 States (in 2007) were Mandatory Arrest and 9 states were Pro-Arrest. The point raised in another reply was that if there is a police call, someone is going to jail no matter how much protection from false allegations you have. And in the kidnapping case example or another case at a public dungeon in Salem where undercover cops witnessed "assault" with a weapon (whips), they prosecuted even when there were NO allegations or from the "victims". Can you imagine being at the local dungeon play party and suddenly the paddy wagon pulls up and vice arrests almost everyone.

I believe the OP has given very sound advice and my point is that there doesn't even have to be someone making false allegations to land someone in a world of trouble. An old Arab proverb says, "better a thousand times careful than once dead". That is why I am very careful about who I get involved with.

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

FR

A friend of mine in the lifestyle was accused of raping someone, was charged, lost his job and his ability to earn a living, tried and fortunately was not convinced. He was accused by a person that he had played with on and off for years. To this day, one can still google his name and see articles about the court case. It took him years to get his record expunged and get back the clearance he needed to earn a living.

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ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

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ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes

I have seen on reality police shows where some woman cries he hit me and even without any marks the police handcuffed the boyfriend and when he swore he never touched her they simply said tell it to the judge. It is rather scary that some areas the police seem happy to cart someone off to jail simply on the word of someone else.

I don't want to derail the thread, but I've been involved with some of those cases. In the UK there are police guidelines which strongly encourage them to make arrests in domestic abuse cases and, where possible, to gather enough evidence to prosecute even if the victim changes his/her mind about it. This is because in domestic abuse cases there have often been dozens of violent incidents before the police arrive on scene for the first time, and it is incredibly common for the victim to say 'it was a misunderstanding' the next morning. Often the victim is 'punished' when the police have gone. They have to treat the incident as though this might be the only chance to help the victim - a few hours in custody can give them time to find a refuge, or change the locks and install panic alarms.

In my experience a he-said-she-said incident with no injuries or supplementary evidence will almost never get to conviction. But often there might be other evidence - the victim may reveal other older injuries, the house may be in disarray, the neighbours may make a statement saying they heard yelling and crying, they might have a history of assault etc. And those few hours can be enough to get into the civil courts and get an injunction.

When someone is found to be making a false allegation the police take action against them. But they will make absolutely sure that it is false, because so many people out of fear or love will change their story and say it didn't happen, and the last thing you want to do is stop a domestic abuse victim from contacting the police for fear of arrest.

It must suck to be falsely accused of domestic abuse, I guess the justification is that it's better someone spends six hours in a cell than someone potentially gets murdered. The system is far from perfect. Personally I have seen more cases fall through when something had been going on than cases getting to court on flimsy evidence.

Anyway, yes it is scary, and yes some people misuse it but hopefully this provides some insight about those cop show scenes.

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ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes
Sorry it took so long for me to get back to you. I grew up in a very violent home in a small town in the 80's. My mom would call the police hoping they would help her and all she would get was oh please he is drunk and maybe you shouldn't antagonize him and they would leave without even making him leave the house for the night. It may have been the culture then or just a small town and my dad was one of the buds with the police since he was on the fire department. Who knows but I did see the other side. Thankfully somehow I managed to break the cycle of abuse in our family so I did not repeat my mothers nightmare.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes
Sorry it took so long for me to get back to you. I grew up in a very violent home in a small town in the 80's. My mom would call the police hoping they would help her and all she would get was oh please he is drunk and maybe you shouldn't antagonize him and they would leave without even making him leave the house for the night. It may have been the culture then or just a small town and my dad was one of the buds with the police since he was on the fire department. Who knows but I did see the other side. Thankfully somehow I managed to break the cycle of abuse in our family so I did not repeat my mothers nightmare.

I don't mean to intrude on the conversation that you are having with Athena. Just wanted to add some info.

What you describe above is exactly what was happening even up until the late eighties and early nineties. Unfortunately, around that time, a number of legitimate victims of DV started ending up crippled or dead. Thurman's law in CT was one of the reforms that led the way when it came to the system taking DV and restraining orders a lot more seriously so things like what you describe above didn't happen anymore.

The concept of mandatory arrest came about because the problem was complicated by women who were too terrified by their spouses to tell police that physical abuse was happening in their home. Even when the police could see the physical marks, often, they were in the position of not being able to do anything. Again, reforms were made to try to help victims.

I hope that My intent behind creating this thread has not been confused. I was never attempting to imply that it should be harder for legitimate victims of abuse or rape to gain the protection that they need or that they shouldn't have legal avenues.

What I am saying is that these very same resources are being used more and more as weapons and often, it's happening on hearsay with little to no evidence to back up the claims. I can't prove it, but I'm inclined to think the issue of false allegations has become worse as social media becomes more and more prominent in our lives.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It just happened. As I would have anticipated, it didn't go anywhere.

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I'll admit that this occurred at a play party, with almost all play in front of others, so a false allegation would be much more difficult. But several years of play and interaction with others, with no complaints, put me in good stead.

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ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes
No I didn't confuse your intent, in fact I changed the wording so it would not come across as that but you caught me before I could change it.
I had always wondered if it was the time or the small town we were in but it was not something I ever brought up with my mom. I know some older people do not think it was a big deal. My uncle, my mom's own brother told me it was a shame she left my dad because he got the best pot. My grandmother and two of my uncles showed up at the house to get us out after he smashed up the house and tried to stab my mom so I know he knows what he did. I was just stunned he would even think it was not that big of a deal. I would be upstairs just hearing it and thought if he even just heard it he would not have thought that, but then I was just a kid at the time.

I do think that if someone wanted to make false allegations it would be fairly easy now.

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
A friend of mine in the lifestyle was accused of raping someone, was charged, lost his job and his ability to earn a living, tried and fortunately was not convinced. He was accused by a person that he had played with on and off for years. To this day, one can still google his name and see articles about the court case. It took him years to get his record expunged and get back the clearance he needed to earn a living.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It just happened. As I would have anticipated, it didn't go anywhere.

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I'll admit that this occurred at a play party, with almost all play in front of others, so a false allegation would be much more difficult. But several years of play and interaction with others, with no complaints, put me in good stead.

Dude, what the holy heck is going on in your city? I'm just going to say that I hope the educational classes that folks are trying to get off of the ground for newcomers goes well.

Sounds like it was a good thing you didn't play in private or the complaint didn't go to your boss or another person not in the lifestyle, huh?

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As delicately as possible - the party host may have had her own reasons for saying that I had been accused. I'm not 100% sure her claim is legit.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
As delicately as possible - the party host may have had her own reasons for saying that I had been accused. I'm not 100% sure her claim is legit.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Nah.

Anything goes to my boss and they hassle me about it, I'd claim sexual harassment. No need for my workplace to bring up kinky sex activities with me.

I assume this sort of stuff happens all over.

I do play in private, but only with women I know reasonably well. And not sexually.

As delicately as possible - the party host may have had her own reasons for saying that I had been accused. I'm not 100% sure her claim is legit.