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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 9:26:53 PM

littlewonder

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the more you type the stranger it becomes

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Everything has changed

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 9:32:45 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

lizi,

There are many holes, truly many holes, I wish I could fill in... but I can't.

I've been honest about all this, so... yeah something wrong with my thinking in believing and accepting of it.

All, I wanted was for something real. A real hookup something to fill a bit of a void in my life at the moment. Even if it's an NSA deal...

Aside from my other concerns, this just sounds so sad to me.

Trying to find something real in a rape scene... .

There are much more reasonable ways to be less lonely.

A counselor could help.

We had talked about doing all kinds of other things besides a Rape Scene! Hell, even just hooking up and doing Body art and many many other things. Even somebody that would be a willing victim for me to practice up on more advanced forms of bondage. This was far far more besides a mere Rape scene involved. We talked for 6 hours about all kinds of things we'd do as NSA Play partners.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 9:43:57 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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angelikaJ,

Hit upon a point which I should elaborate upon. As I have mentioned
Me and this girl had talked a lot for a couple of weeks leading up to this
madness. One night we talked for 6 hours on the phone.

Everything centered around becoming Kinky NSA play partners.
Other activities besides a rape scene. Even doing things like temp
body art, such as henna tattoo's, me using here to practice up on
Shibar, Wax Play and a hell of a lot more. Even mutual Body
Massage.

6 hours about all kinds of things. It was not like we had a 6 hour
conversation about staging and planning out a Rape Scene.

While I can understand why many people have the impression
this was all about a rape scene. There was way way more in the works.

Which has had this whole deal a little more difficult for me in some
regards.

She sincerely wanted to meet up again! after this crazy Rape scene
until I started pushing for the truth behind these two guys and the debt
business.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 9:45:27 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
the more you type the stranger it becomes

It's all rather strange to me as well..

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 9:46:19 PM

LafayetteLady

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I've avoided responding to your fantasical account of events. I'm going to continue to do so, other than to tell you to stop trying to rationalize/excuse your behavior. There is nothing "ok" about any of it, even if it is accurate to your very confused telling of it.

Again, please seek the help of a medical professional.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 9:54:24 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I've avoided responding to your fantasical account of events. I'm going to continue to do so, other than to tell you to stop trying to rationalize/excuse your behavior. There is nothing "ok" about any of it, even if it is accurate to your very confused telling of it.

Again, please seek the help of a medical professional.

Lafeyettelady... I would be willing to forward my email interactions with all those involved... and even talk voice with you. I am concerned about some pattern in my word use which you are picked up upon. that is is you're game for this?

I am willing to keep it in email or IM's too... whatever.. is comfortable for you. Please.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 6/4/2013 9:59:12 PM >

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 9:56:43 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I've avoided responding to your fantasical account of events. I'm going to continue to do so, other than to tell you to stop trying to rationalize/excuse your behavior. There is nothing "ok" about any of it, even if it is accurate to your very confused telling of it.

Again, please seek the help of a medical professional.

I'm taking what you are expressing here seriously. Can we at least go to the other side..

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 10:07:29 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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Here's a list of things I wish I do all over - if I could.

1. Voice confirmation with this so called "k" person dude involved in the second meet.
2. Voice call to girl letting her know what was going on with second meet.
3. Walking into the room, turning her night stand light on, and start to talk.
4. Asking her to right then and there, show me her email and phone text interactions with these Dudes.

Then either leaving or having sex and leaving this whole deal behind me like a good/bad dream.

I did none of the above, all of which would have been the right thing to do.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 6/4/2013 10:10:21 PM >

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 10:27:40 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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Here's are things I'm thankful for

1. Not causing this girl any true harm
2. Not following through with What those guys wanted me to do.
3. Cutting those strings and not being their meat puppet.
4. Spinning her around and telling her the things I did.
5. Enjoying the rest of the time doing things we both were into.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/4/2013 11:21:07 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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Here are some things I regret

1. Not contacting this girl letting her know that I was going to be the one showing up on WED. She had text me on Tuesday telling me how much she had wanted to meet on Sunday and was sorry that things fell apart. Her son really did get hurt and needed to come home. This was not some made up story to get out of meeting me. This detail was clearly posted on her facebook account, that he son had got hurt. I actually forgot about how much detail some of you people actually need here at times. I find this matter rather frustrating to deal with. None the less, I can see where you guys are coming from. This girl had not back down from our meetup. It was a matter of life getting in the way of things. Anyways, I did not text her back on Tuesday!! Instead I was going to surprise her the next night by showing up. I did text here "Hi" on my way there, she texted me back "Sorry, I'm sleeping talk later" <-- something a long those lines). I was running behind and wanted to see if she was still awake or not basically. In hind sight I should have contacted her on Tuesday and Talked voice about this "K" and "K" business and this so called debt. A head of time before taking the trip.

2. I regret not going up those stairs, making my way to her night stand, turning on the light. Having her wake up to me, with direct face to face contact. And striking up a conversation about all this "K" and "K" business and debt. To ask her to show me copies of text messages and email exchanges between them. So I could quickly sort out fact from fiction. Instead, I didn't want to wreck her so called rape fantasy either. I also wanted to test and see what I myself was really made of. I've had fantasies of taking advantage of somebody being sexually exploited over money for years on/off. So I got to see what I was or was not really made of as a human being. Now the very thought of doing this to anybody extremely Turns me off. (So I learned something about my own self and what I am or am not capable of as a human being).

Keep in mind that she was ready, waiting and had consented to this whole affair. I just didn't like the conditions involved in consent. I wanted her to have sex with me of her own free will and consent. Not because of some fuckers which were collecting upon a Debt! This is truly what I learned about myself and what I'm into. I want to make this deadly and perfectly clearly, that this was about testing my own limits of sorts too. I have had fantasies about taking advantage of somebody which was being exploited into sexual use for years. Now those Fantasies are not sooo hot to me anymore. I could care less if this makes sense to any one of you on this message board. (yes, this was a bit of a mind bender for me).

She made arrangements for her kids to go to babysitters that night, and was ready and waiting prepared for me or whoever else entered that room. Yes, it made me question things about her some.

3. I regret, not having her produce email/text exchanges between her and those two... after the blind fold came off. Instead, I had a heart to heart talk that she was lucking it was me showing up and not some sadistic fuck. She told me she had thought it was "K" which showed up to personally collect. She truly did look relieved and very very happy to discover it was me there. It's rather difficult to fake facial expressions and body language unless you're on hell of a good actor. Still none the less, this was not enough for me. I extended a measure of trust, which really was not true trust at this time. This I regret very much. So this is my own learning lesson.

4. I regret until waiting until a few days afterwards to push for this proof. That "k" and "K" and that the debt business really existed or not. The thoughts of having the wool pulled over my eyes, was not setting right with me. However, It's my fault not her's because I played along. I perhaps should have just let it all go and not taken it personally. If I had this may have turned out to be a wonderful Play Partner. Let her reveal the truth to me on her own terms. Instead of trying to force it.

5. However, I also found myself filled with genuine concern if these guys were real, what kind of strangle hold they might still have over her. "Go check on J" IM really put a scare in me over this girls welfare. I regret not blowing that IM off.

6. I regret that I'm not very mentally capable of dealing with screwed up situations like this. I'll more than openly admit this.

So these are the things I pretty much regret from all this.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 6/4/2013 11:24:06 PM >

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 2:55:08 AM

Greta75

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My gosh, this rape set up was at her house? That's pretty scary. Especially when she has kids.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 3:04:47 AM

descrite

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OP, please stop trying to justify any action, decision, or perspective you have on this: as lw pointed out, the more you sit at the keyboard, the more you vindicate our belief that you are lacking any objective, normal, rational capability for processing reality.

Don't contact law enforcement. Stay off CL.

And you may want to refrain from engaging in rape play; I am not sure you understand what rape is, or what play is, for that matter. Because you have demonstrated such grossly poor judgment in this, I recommend you get everything in writing, signed by your partner in front of you, before engaging in similar activity.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 4:05:23 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
My gosh, this rape set up was at her house? That's pretty scary. Especially when she has kids.

Kids were at babysitter and enough trust was built ahead of time, for my part.
However she should have not been so trusting of me, let alone been willing to
allow a total stranger. Which is why I'm not buying into this total stranger business
anymore. Not buying into this second meetup being staged by another guy.
Rather it was her pretending to be him. (This is what logically makes sense).

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 4:05:37 AM

lizi

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Whiplash, each time you write it is abundantly clear that you're still stuck in lala land which is where you've been for this entire thing. Stop acting like these men exist, they don't. This woman you encountered is a nutjob and a liar, stay away from any further dealings with her. She thinks it is ok to have strangers come to her unlocked home where she raises her children, and let them do whatever they want to her. Does this honestly sound like anyone sane?

I also remember your past posting history as being quite different, and think you should approach a professional for an evaluation of your current continuing illogical and disordered mental state. I'm concerned for you.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 4:14:58 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Kids were at babysitter and enough trust was built ahead of time, for my part.

Yea but for her, she didn't know it was you, she's allowing someone she never met come to her home, knowing where she and her children live, to rape her maliciously? Risk the safety of her children all over a friend's debt.
You seem like a nice fellow and you should move on and find a nice woman who wanna play the things you wanna play and can be open and honest with you and not fishy like that.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 4:37:04 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

OP, please stop trying to justify any action, decision, or perspective you have on this: as lw pointed out, the more you sit at the keyboard, the more you vindicate our belief that you are lacking any objective, normal, rational capability for processing reality.

Don't contact law enforcement. Stay off CL.

And you may want to refrain from engaging in rape play; I am not sure you understand what rape is, or what play is, for that matter. Because you have demonstrated such grossly poor judgment in this, I recommend you get everything in writing, signed by your partner in front of you, before engaging in similar activity.

I'm not contacting Law Enforcement. She was behind the staging of it all. There really was no debt, no other dude involved. It was her playing me... to get a more realistic rape scene. I had a friend contact her instead which got the full story out of her, which was good news to hear this morning.

At the moment, Rape play scenes are at the bottom of my list. It would have been different if I had showed up there Sunday and spent some quality time first with her. Then pulled out the Duct tape and made a move, Did it, then unwound together afterwards. However, it was poor judgement on my part to follow through with it the way things got set up for this second meetup. Not when I had any doubts as to what was or was not real. Although consent was clearly expressed to me in both situations. I should have double checked for the second situation.

In regards to her own sanity, I think she was crazy. I had my "What if I were a true sadist which did not respect limits" conversation with her after the fact.
I did get a text message from here in the middle of Sunday - where she did not think Rape scene where not hot anymore.

Her and I demonstrated poor judgement in this. Although we had a great time together. We ended up having a great time together. I even towel dried her body down after getting out of the shower. She said she not had anybody do that since she was a kid. Sort of touched upon part of my Daddy Dom part of my personality.

This by no means diminishes the poor judgement involved. Also, I clearly fell for some lines of bullshit without double checking it. Which is/was poor judgement on my part.

Nobody was hurt nor any true harm came from this ordeal though, despite this mess. At most I went through a bit of a mind fuck and I suspect the same holds true with her. Since I literally was filled with Worry for her afterwards. I told her, that I regretted writing back to "k" this fictional account of the rape scene to satisfy that her debt had been settled. That it made me uneasy with somebody believing she loved being used this way. That this might provoke a real rape attack. (an after thought on my part) Still this showed a lack of good judgement.

I can see where jumping the gun and contacting the legal authorities would have been an equally fucked up bad judgement.

Today is another day, it's been an experience. I don't know what more to say.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 4:40:08 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Kids were at babysitter and enough trust was built ahead of time, for my part.

Yea but for her, she didn't know it was you, she's allowing someone she never met come to her home, knowing where she and her children live, to rape her maliciously? Risk the safety of her children all over a friend's debt.
You seem like a nice fellow and you should move on and find a nice woman who wanna play the things you wanna play and can be open and honest with you and not fishy like that.

You just missed the post I made.. I just had confirmation a few minutes ago... that she had staged this whole deal. A friend of mine contacted her about it and got the whole story out of her.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 4:44:19 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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At the moment, this girl is scared to talk to me about this mess. Because she got caught telling the lies!
this is why she went and hide from me. She does not even know how to face me on the phone nor
in person again.

She pretended to be this other guy, and made up the lie about the debt. She had hoped that I would
have simply let those things go. Move on as play partners with me believing I had been the Dude
which saved her ass. That was what she was hoping for...

Instead she got caught in the lies, Trust was broken and she's deeply sorry and ashamed at the
moment. This is what happened and is going on.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 5:06:10 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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GUYS I'm in tears at the moment.

This girl would have been a wonderful play partner. So many qualities I've been looking for for somebody for a even a long term deal too. However, this all got tanked up. She messed it up, by pretending to be this other Dude, making up lies about taking on a Girls drug debt. She had hoped that all this would have blown over. That I would have left things the Hell alone and not pushed for proof these guys existed along with the truth of the Debt. Me pushing to see her message exchanges between her and them sent her into hiding. She knows I got pissed off thinking that she could be behind it all.

Clearly, she is ashamed and fearful of even talking to me. Game Over.

It's really really sad, how lies and deception just to get your freak on can ruin things.

She really had wanted to see me again, but now she just can't stand to face me.

So this is sad, truly sad. What a stupid needless mess.

Perhaps, I should have left well enough alone... IDK.

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RE: Doing the right thing... - 6/5/2013 5:13:37 AM

freedomdwarf1

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FFS Whiplash!!!!

Give it a rest will ya??

You are dilusional.
We have all told you it was a setup and a lie right from the get go.
And you still can't work out that you've been suckered into it.

We are all tired of you trying your damndest to convince us you are being a hero and doing the right thing.
You aren't.
You are being a fool to yourself.
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!!

I'm done with this bullshit faerie story.
I think you've milked it enough already.

< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 6/5/2013 5:20:25 AM >

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