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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 10:49:51 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

These other women can do things that I cant , take things I cant.makes for some nerves.

I've never met a Dom who didn't enjoy introducing me to new things and practicing over and over and over

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 11:21:38 AM

goodgirlmary

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Validpoints. Iknow he had storm damage though that supposidely prevented yesterday and todays playdates. So maybe thats why,maybe
Thats legit. Or maybe i reallydid screw up. We were hot and heavy tuesday,butnow hes completely absent friday. If not the storm, then something happened,id think, idk.maybe i got too dark too fast, or maybe his switch woman said something crazy again.sheesh. its all so confusing.

Maybe the novelty woreoff, maybe i should try to figure it out. Idk. I was legit happy, and actually probably more myself and free, belonging to him..ugh lol.

But you couldbe wrong, and now ive demonstrated how dreadfully insecure i am lol.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 11:23:32 AM

goodgirlmary

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I guess thats good news ..damn near everything is a first in my world lol

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 11:29:43 AM

goodgirlmary

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Wel,theniguess i really really did screw up.it just worrirs meto be bring do honest about such personaland bizarre things as i am if ino longer know where we are. If hecould take or leave me, why am i do desperate to serve him that i want to drop to my knees for his arrival. Smh. Im so freaking confused.
im following the rules mostly. Besides,if its a challenge,then he has to punish me right?hed have to show up for that ...

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 11:35:27 AM

kalikshama

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I suggest you slow waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down with the emotional attachment and not make anyone a priority who considers you an option.

See also our recent discussion Dom is different

Also read up on Sub Frenzy.

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 6/14/2013 11:36:03 AM >

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 11:37:38 AM

goodgirlmary

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Dear god the typos..sorry just got this tablet

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 11:47:21 AM

goodgirlmary

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Where do i look up sub frenzy?

Im backing out emotionally,at least for now.i wish that woman wouldnt be in my house today. She deems to enjoy wgen im sad.im really eonderingsbout the timing of her bisits yoo.maybe theres more to this.

Maybenothing to it.

This stings,in a bad way

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 11:51:24 AM

goodgirlmary

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I readthat that thread earlier.doesnt seem the same.financially things were set,online and phone messages were after sex...its a different horse imo.but i get it, doms are ppl too and we shouldnt allow things in those relationships wed not allow in vanilla. That being said,my vanilla never went well eitherlol

Edit:i looked up subfrenxy.You may be right.ivenever known anything like this.andido get really neddy for next.
But msybe,since hes done thisa longtime, he eill be forgiving of it.

< Message edited by goodgirlmary -- 6/14/2013 12:06:54 PM >

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:09:50 PM

chatterbox24

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Where do i look up sub frenzy?

Im backing out emotionally,at least for now.i wish that woman wouldnt be in my house today. She deems to enjoy wgen im sad.im really eonderingsbout the timing of her bisits yoo.maybe theres more to this.

Maybenothing to it.

This stings,in a bad way

Hon, who is the woman, have missed something?

Definitely SLOW DOWN, makes me worry for you a bit. I have been there. GO to the search function at the top of this page to the right and type in Sub Frenzy.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:14:30 PM

goodgirlmary

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Could be the typos.but ok so theres me and him,him and her,him her and i ,and supposidly her and i but thats really for him. I think shes got a mean streak, tends to be a bit dishonest.she brought me in because she wanted a turn as she put itlater,and he wanted a third.she doesnt share well.i see her as a friend often, but we dont play.i serve her as he requires,but basically only worry about him and I.

I did lookit up. I think its an issue more on my end than theirs. Who knew id want so much so fast.they font see each other often nor do they tslk as often as we do, or so im told.imay have to lesrn a lifeskill if im going to tame 29 years of nothing rushing up lol.eck.

< Message edited by goodgirlmary -- 6/14/2013 12:21:28 PM >

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:23:07 PM

chatterbox24

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Sounds like quite a pickle to me, and complicated. Not my expertise by any means.

..........sounds like this thread is headed for the polygamous section.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:29:13 PM

goodgirlmary

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Eek i hope not. I probably should just delete it now that I realize this is completely nuts.how much I text or not journaling, really not relevant to the problem. I am playing with fire and I pretty much deserve this ugh. Shes not a dom or sub tho, she is a switch he occassionally sees. So it is a part of what we do, but seperate. We are regular,she is a few times a year,or so I hear.

< Message edited by goodgirlmary -- 6/14/2013 1:17:29 PM >

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:34:28 PM

goodgirlmary

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Is there a way to private message in this group

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:42:28 PM

tazzygirl

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mary... grins... calm down... take a deep breath... now.. breathe!

you are allowed your feelings, just dont let them run away with you. he had a storm? maybe he is all caught up in that. maybe his ability to communicate with you is down as well... or sporadic. people calling in and out to check on others can tie up phone lines and cell service.

I think the emotional is getting the better of your intellectual side. I had a friend who was crazy about this dom, who was also crazy about her. he adored the girl. he just had a job that had killer hours and, during certain times of the year right before holidays, that job picked up. his hours got longer. you would think "why cant he take 5 minutes to contact me?" That was often her question

so she would often vent to friends, upset, emotioally a wreck thinking the man of her dreams didnt want her anymore. Between work and kids (divorced) he simply was wasted. I ran into him with his kids one weekend at the grocery store. he looked horrible. i happened to mention to him "When was the last time you talked to so and so?" He started at me... and then the look on his face told me that he hadnt in a while.

Real life and other obligations can get in the way. Give him time. relax, go for walks, pamper yourself during this time. read, watch tv, do things to broaden your own mind and world. Dont waste this time worrying about if you are good enough for him. Take this time to improve you and, if he truly wants this relationship to end, then you will be even that much more ready for the next one.

Doms are human too... they make mistakes... time lapses... events get in the way. Until you know for sure, dont go borrowing trouble.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:43:48 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Is there a way to private message in this group

Yes, see the "PM" beneath each name in the box on the left hand side of their posts? Click there and you can send the a mail.

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:46:00 PM

goodgirlmary

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Thanks.i will try lol

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:48:15 PM

goodgirlmary

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I think I cant pm yet.poo lol

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 12:53:22 PM

Kana

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Me?I wanna talk to her once, maybe twice a day. If I started getting a mailbox full of messages I'd think she had emotional needs beyond my capacity to meet (Due to time constraints in my own real life-yeah, I've got one of those)and I'd set her free.
Been there, done that, will do it again.
What I won't ever do again is try to make that work. Nothing personal against the gal,no judgement, no hard feelings. It just means that her needs and my ability to give don't match, and that pretty much always dooms a relationship. I've tried to make it work before, ending up hurting her, and myself,a whole lot more than I would have had I just cut her loose right away.
Life is short. Don't dick around. That's my credo

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 1:00:36 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

theres me and him,him and her,him her and i ,and supposidly her and i but thats really for him. I think shes got a mean streak, tends to be a bit dishonest.she brought me in because she wanted a turn as she put itlater,and he wanted a third.she doesnt share well.i see her as a friend often, but we dont play.i serve her as he requires,but basically only worry about him and I.

Don't think identifying as submissive means you have to fuck anyone you don't want to. If you want to be monogamous, that's fine. If you want veto power, that's fine too.

This ended a D/s dynamic I was in - he wanted to see me with other women, and while I have been bi since a teenager, I'm not interested in being intimate with random women.

In retrospect, I should have put my foot down more firmly and sooner.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 1:02:43 PM

myotherself

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Id be curious to know how you found a master.mine seemed to appear accidentely.

I found Master on collarme. Although more accurately, he found me.

He sent me a message - something mildly insulting but very funny about my profile. I responded in kind, then we started to chat. Neither of us talked about sex or much about bdsm (only in very general terms).

Once we'd chatted for a while (several weeks) we arranged to meet for a half hour coffee. Which actually lasted 2 hours. Then we started to date. No bdsm, no sex until I said otherwise.

After several months we agreed we both really liked each other, and the D/s and other stuff started.

It's been 3 years now, and we're planning on moving in together. But it took a long, long time for both of us to be sure that what we have is for life (hopefully) and not just for the next 'scene'.

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