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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 8:17:31 PM

goodgirlmary

Posts: 478
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Will an admin delete this please? I do not want to relive my stupidityand I would kindof like to stay here, if they have room for a vanilla swirl lol

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 8:18:44 PM

littlewonder

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sorry but once you post here it's here for life unless an admin pulls it for being against TOS. Look at it this way, it will be here to remind you to not do this again.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 8:21:25 PM

goodgirlmary

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Lol, greatttt.Because that omg you are stupid feeling should not ever leave

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 8:51:01 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

I knew he was married and summers are off. I was friends with the other woman in the way I am friends with most people.I am very overgiving, and I tend to feel when something is amiss, I either did it or must fix it. I am surprised I agreed to meet him,I really thought it was just a threeway with no ties.She vetted him,and was already seeing him. I amnot well experienced, and this was my reallybad thing.And I liked it,which normally Iwould not have. I was so nervous, I am always nerbous.But it was comfirting the way hr bossed me around, and controlled everything, They are casual. He spptoached it like we would be too. I was pretty hottifiedby the things I woild not have guessedI liked. I agreed.She wanted to be sure that we were notgoing tobe more than they were, and thatis how the go bavk and forth with that started.But he eould comfort me,say things like he missed me,and the lines got blurred.In this time I actually founs I felt like kess of a doormat.I felt thingsthat were irrational. The things he tells me,he probably tells her,he probably tells the wife.In retrospect, I am pretty dumb.

Well, expecting lots of contact from a man who is married and is seeing another woman besides you certainly isn't realistic. So, have you met the wife and does she know about you two?

I still think it's like Dom is different only in your case he didn't cut contact as quickly.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 8:51:28 PM

littlewonder

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oh the omg I'm stupid should leave. The "I've learned my lesson because I did something stupid" should never leave.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 9:00:28 PM

goodgirlmary

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Well initally i wantednostrings and no contact in the future, and no wife doesnt know

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 9:28:05 PM

tazzygirl

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So he has you, a switch, and a wife?

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/14/2013 10:18:04 PM

goodgirlmary

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Yes.....

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/15/2013 3:45:49 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Well initally i wantednostrings and no contact in the future, and no wife doesnt know

So you got what you wanted initially. That is the problem with being "the other woman." Often you find out you want more, and more just isn't going to happen.

In the future, remember one very important thing. He was lying to his wife, he was lying to his girlfriend, there was no chance he was not lying to you.

Be glad you got out when you did, and let the two of them continue on their merry deluded way.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/15/2013 4:31:35 PM

goodgirlmary

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The wife and him have some sort of open thing. The trouble was the other playdate. She isnt a girlfriend either, but I was also under the impression that ours was the special one...over it. I am not saying I would not play with him, but I would never commit to all the terms again.Lesson learned. I think I miss the chatting most. Im ok with being a plaything,but I dont like being toyed with.

I suppose I can just kerp asking questions here lol, although I read recently I require therapy.smhlol

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/15/2013 4:43:53 PM

lizi

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Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

The wife and him have some sort of open thing. The trouble was the other playdate. She isnt a girlfriend either, but I was also under the impression that ours was the special one...over it. I am not saying I would not play with him, but I would never commit to all the terms again.Lesson learned. I think I miss the chatting most. Im ok with being a plaything,but I dont like being toyed with.

I suppose I can just kerp asking questions here lol, although I read recently I require therapy.smhlol

Do you know for a fact if the wife was on board with him playing and having sex with others? If it was just him telling you that, it might not be the case that they 'really' had some sort of open thing. People say all kinds of things that they think we want to hear.

You can find someone else that you can chat with, play with, and be intimate with. In fact I'd recommend it. This isn't the only guy in the world that you will be comfortable with.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/15/2013 4:50:20 PM

littlewonder

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so you're going to continue playing with him? You do realize those emotions you "had" for him are still going to be there, right? You're just making excuses for yourself saying you are over it all and will just play....until the play happens and afterwards you're right back to square one again, asking us the same questions again.

You're better off just going on your own way without him.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/15/2013 4:57:53 PM

goodgirlmary

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I have not talked to him. I really doubt I will. I was coming off a miscarriage, and jumped into this strange new thing that felt right.I dont regret this, I regret not seeing the full picture until people forced me to. I am still very glad I foundout what I like, and it is growth and learning lessons, aww fine, and a fuck ton of cookie dough. HOPEFULLY I can find some chat buddies, maybe even here, and then eventually find someone to play with. Im a nice girl,lol,really hahaha.
Seriously,I am mostly over this. Imnot hideous, and if I was, I could mix in with the edge play lol. I will be ok.

I THINK THAT IS SOMETHING IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE PRACTICALLY IN THE SAME SITUATION.Defensiveness to offered advice is silly.let it soak in.if it is the common consensus of people who knowmore,dont attack.listen.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/15/2013 5:02:09 PM

goodgirlmary

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Little wonder I was typing when you posted. I DONT THINKwe will.It was good,fun,but it is done.If we were to play later it would be so far down the line,and different.it would not be worth doing.I need to trust anyone I give full submission to.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/16/2013 3:42:51 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Greetings

Ask your Dom not us, some like to be in contact with the people they are with constantly, others want a bit more distance.When I visit my mother usually I talk with Aswad a few times a day, he will text me or send me a chat message if he wants something and I will usually call him one a day, that works for us. There are no hard and fast rules however so you have to discuss this with the one you will be communicating with not us here on the forum.

I wish you well

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/17/2013 9:50:39 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

I read recently I require therapy.smhlol

I used to pick men that were impossibly bad for me and did find therapy helpful to learn to make better choices. I am currently in a committed relationship with I man I adore who loves me too.

Because this guy is clearly not a match for you and the guy who got you pregnant doesn't sound like he's in the picture anymore, perhaps you too may wish to reevaluate how you chose men. Therapy can help with that.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/17/2013 9:59:44 AM

Greta75

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[fast reply]
It's a man's thing and not a dom thing.
I often let the guy lead, and respond accordingly.
Like, if the guy text me alot, like a few times a day, like my x-dom did, or my x-husband did, I'd return the intensity.

If the guy barely texts me, I won't bother texting him either, and just go by his style.

I got a guy who didn't text me much so I return the same aloofness. Then I get asked why did I stop texting..., so..., it varies so much. And guys who text you alot usually likes lots of textes back.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/17/2013 10:01:11 AM >

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/17/2013 11:46:49 AM

OsideGirl

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From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

I have not talked to him. I really doubt I will. I was coming off a miscarriage, and jumped into this strange new thing that felt right.I dont regret this, I regret not seeing the full picture until people forced me to. I am still very glad I foundout what I like, and it is growth and learning lessons, aww fine, and a fuck ton of cookie dough. HOPEFULLY I can find some chat buddies, maybe even here, and then eventually find someone to play with. Im a nice girl,lol,really hahaha.
Seriously,I am mostly over this. Imnot hideous, and if I was, I could mix in with the edge play lol. I will be ok.

I'm not sure where you're located, but I think finding an experienced female submissive as your mentor, would probably be a good thing for you.

Mentors do not engage in play or sex, but act as a guide through the community. I think you probably could gain a more grounded view from seeing how a wide variety of D/s BDSM relationships operate.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/17/2013 1:43:50 PM

goodgirlmary

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Ive thought about that..but eouldnt evrn know where such could be found...
Im going in the right direction though ;) behaving and waiting until I know what the hell Im doing lol.

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RE: how often do you contact your dom - 6/17/2013 2:03:38 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Ive thought about that..but eouldnt evrn know where such could be found...
Im going in the right direction though ;) behaving and waiting until I know what the hell Im doing lol.

Find a local group near you. Attend a couple of meetings/demos/munches. Find someone you're comfortable with and ask.

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