submissive safety

submissive safety (Full Version)

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goodgirlmary -> submissive safety (6/15/2013 4:31:21 AM)
What is the safest way to find people to play with?are there any red flags I should see and avoid? Are there any boundaries, things I might be better off knowing?

thursdays -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 4:37:21 AM)
[nm]

crazyml -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 4:41:35 AM)
I take it you've had vanilla dates before? Start with that. In terms of boundaries... that's for you to decide, then to explain to a potential dom. When you think about the things that you might want to get up to, you might want to consider the following - 1) What's the likelihood that I might come to harm? 2) What if I really don't enjoy it? 3) Do I know this person well enough to trust them to respect my limits? When you're planning a meeting, again - standard first date common sense applies... As a general rule, it's not wise to do a first meet at midnight at a remote cabin in the woods... So you might want to meet somewhere public, arrange for friend to call you (also useful if it's going badly... you can use the call as an excuse to bail).

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 5:18:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thursdays [nm] ?

lizi -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 5:58:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary quote: ORIGINAL: thursdays [nm] ? Crazyml has another account that he uses primarily for the other side of this site, and he forgets to sign out of it and use his main chat side account (Crazyml). In fact, Thursdays has 71 posts, I laughed just now thinking that all of the posts on that account are... [nm]. Lol! [;)] In general, if someone changes their mind on something they've written they'll write 'nm' for 'nevermind,' or there might just be a period. When you post and you may change your mind of what you've written and want to edit it out, you still have to have something in the entry.

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 6:50:06 AM)
Ohhhhhhhhh lol

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 8:02:39 AM)
Do you generally seek out men with those tendencies or should I expect they will just find me? Seems nervewracking to think of where and how they may be?

NissanGTR -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 8:52:37 AM)
My opinion on safety is, as long as it won't land you in the Hospital.... You better do what your told. Lol.

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 9:02:15 AM)
And my physical response to that just illustrates the problem lol

DesFIP -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 9:22:26 AM)
Yes, you ought to know what you're doing. You need to figure out what kind of play appeals to you and what doesn't. Do you want pain? Do you want to be tied up and have hot sex? Are you okay with people putting needles through your skin to tie ribbons on? Take time to read up on things, see what appeals to you and what doesn't. Of the things that do appeal, then read more to figure out how they are done safely. Then when someone says they'll do you like this, ask them where they learned how, how they do things, make sure they know what they're doing. No difference here than going on a vanilla date. If someone said they would take you target shooting, wouldn't you ask about their experience so you know you would be safe? Would you let someone who has never been on a horse take you on a long trail ride? Would you agree to go for a long hike on a trail he had never been on and didn't have a map? Same here.

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 9:27:16 AM)
I think that is trouble too. I decline most people who ask me out.If I dont know them,I do not go.So since that is an area where I do not think I know anyone, I am not even sure how I would meet someone. I think you are right with the figure out how far..I never even heard of the ribbon thing.

DesFIP -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 9:47:15 AM)
Hang out here and you'll discover all kinds of things you won't want to do. Care to be hit with a bug zapper? Or a cattle prod? Have your breasts nailed to a board? All those kinds of things are referred to as edge play. They're like the X Games of sex. But just as damn few people will sky dive in a squirrel suit instead of a normal parachute, damn few of us sign up for that kind of play.

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 10:21:55 AM)
Lol that was quite a list! I would rather not get that err in depth in my learning ;)

sexyred1 -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 10:32:34 AM)
You sound very nervous in all your postings. You should probably just hang out and read alot, do alot of searches on topics and think carefully about what it is you want out of BDSM and D/s, if you do want it at all. Sometimes people have fantasies that overwhelm them and they read things that scare them, so take it easy!

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 11:18:14 AM)
In general I am nervous. I am just that way.I would fret this much if I were consideting something out of this arens. Crazy religious upbringing has molded an intresting mess. Even vanilla feels dirty. I know what I know I think I like, and what I do like and what I dont. It was just easier with someone else to guide the process. Id like to find someone to play with.So whereas I am going to hang out and read , I think I am also going to try to search one out somehow.And in a safe way. I dont know,lol. I have some bizarre need for it. It was good release. My nerves are more concerned with rejection and shyness. some things posted though are really intresting lol,not for me to try though.

sexyred1 -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 11:20:14 AM)
Don't worry about rejection. It might be cool for you to meet someone who is also new. That way you learn together.

SimplyMichael -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 11:21:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary What is the safest way to find people to play with?are there any red flags I should see and avoid? Are there any boundaries, things I might be better off knowing? Develop maturity and the ability to make good choices.

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 11:22:32 AM)
It might be, but would not even know how that would come up...I suspect you are much too far away to have referrals lol

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 11:23:40 AM)
good choices? Lol, well then I am out .lol jk

sexyred1 -> RE: submissive safety (6/15/2013 11:31:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary It might be, but would not even know how that would come up...I suspect you are much too far away to have referrals lol Honey, if knew any good ones, I would not be referring them!

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