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RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 2:19:42 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchNSpanky

One day I might make a couple accounts and intro myself as a dude and as a chick. I think the results would be interesting.

Yeah. The folks on this forum just love being lied to and manipulated. Good call.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 2:51:38 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


My point is the literature has been around for a long, long time, not just erotica, but nonfiction as well.


Listening to NPR and they were discussing papyrus texts of porn 1200 years BCE!!


_____________________________



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One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 6:50:03 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The one thing that has not been addressed is that it isn't just kinky men and kinky women. The op's looking for a female top/domme. And there are more sub females than domme females. Which makes it even more uneven.

As a sub female, I could go to the local bar any night of the week and get a guy to spank and fuck me. I don't need CM for that.

But conversely, a guy can't expect to go down to the local bar and find a woman willing to have sex with him, let alone one who will spank him first. And when you consider all the fetishes people want fulfilled, that just makes it harder.

Thank you!

Here's something every Dominant woman knows. It is easy as hell to get the average guy to 'submit' in bed. I'm not telling anybody anything that they don't know. Women do it on a daily basis and guys, if you are honest with yourselves, realize how quickly a firm "no" goes to "yeah, I'll do that" just because the naked chick next to you is telling you how much X turns her on.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 9:49:35 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
The women are only welcomed if they are young and cute


No it's always been my impression that those are the ones the old and bitter especially work to run off.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 10:06:08 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
Also, most of us "don't just want some", we want a fully-formed relationship along with the slap-n-tickle, and won't settle for less.


No that's not correct. http://m.nypost.com/p/news/local/what_women_want_qRO8pvoSKeFcqrPSftoi6N

That's just the sexual repression talking.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 10:12:25 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
The women are only welcomed if they are young and cute


No it's always been my impression that those are the ones the old and bitter especially work to run off.


rofl.... thankfully we have no old and bitter on these boards... at least among the women

But, if you prefer an example... the House of Hannah

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 6/21/2013 10:13:27 PM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 10:18:42 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
Also, most of us "don't just want some", we want a fully-formed relationship along with the slap-n-tickle, and won't settle for less.


No that's not correct. http://m.nypost.com/p/news/local/what_women_want_qRO8pvoSKeFcqrPSftoi6N

That's just the sexual repression talking.


When you, the monkeys and rats in the studies, and the machines used to measure blood flow in women's genitalia become actual human females, we'll give this another go-round. Til then, pffft.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 10:35:40 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
The women are only welcomed if they are young and cute


No it's always been my impression that those are the ones the old and bitter especially work to run off.


rofl.... thankfully we have no old and bitter on these boards... at least among the women

But, if you prefer an example... the House of Hannah

Not that I don't agree with your example, tazzy, but I really wish you wouldn't have brought that up. (Edited to save a Mod a headache.)

On the actual topic <ahem> since I happen to live with another top, I get an up close and personal example of the difference a pair of tits makes in this little debate. It shows particularly when we move to a new area or we go someplace where people aren't as familiar with us. Being female gives Me advantages that he doesn't have.



< Message edited by LadyPact -- 6/21/2013 10:37:47 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 10:42:19 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry, LP. But if they hadnt been 1 - women, 2 - young, 3 - with hot photos, no one would have tolerated half the bs they got away with... or I should say he got away with by pretending to be 4 other women.

Want another example? http://www.collarchat.com/m_4474348/tm.htm

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 10:48:57 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		This is quite true. I know fetish videos are for profit but that does remind me when I've seen other guys shoot videos with some very attractive women. For example, there can be a certain type of video the guy doesn't want to do. I've seen some of these girls go up to the guy and do the whole "flirt" thing. Make the guy feel guilty if he didn't do the video and gee, a guy with a very attractive girl all over him. Almost everytime, the guy would give in and start thinking with his "little" head.

Now, like I said, video are for profit. Its a business and I am sure money is on the mind of some of these girls. But that example made me wonder just how often attractive women really can use their looks to their advantage. I've seen "alpha" males break down. In the end, temptation is just too strong for some people.


Here's something every Dominant woman knows. It is easy as hell to get the average guy to 'submit' in bed. I'm not telling anybody anything that they don't know. Women do it on a daily basis and guys, if you are honest with yourselves, realize how quickly a firm "no" goes to "yeah, I'll do that" just because the naked chick next to you is telling you how much X turns her on.
[/color]
[/quote]


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Charley aka Sub Guy

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https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Help me understand - 6/21/2013 10:50:05 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		That's very true too
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Sorry, LP. But if they hadnt been 1 - women, 2 - young, 3 - with hot photos, no one would have tolerated half the bs they got away with... or I should say he got away with by pretending to be 4 other women.

Want another example? http://www.collarchat.com/m_4474348/tm.htm



_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Help me understand - 6/22/2013 7:05:30 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
When you, the monkeys and rats in the studies, and the machines used to measure blood flow in women's genitalia become actual human females, we'll give this another go-round. Til then, pffft.


quote:

ORIGINAL: same link
It’s long been believed that women need to feel emotionally connected in order to feel attracted, to want sex. But a recent study by sexologist Meredith Chivers shows that when it comes to desire, women are as visually stimulated and more easily turned on than men.

A group of straight women were hooked up to a device that measures genital blood flow and listened to a series of tapes in which pornographic scenarios were described: couplings between men and women, women and women, strangers. The subjects reported feeling most aroused by sex between people in long-term relationships, but the machines reported the opposite — blood pulsed faster during sex between strangers.

These findings tracked with another study in which women watched both gay and straight porn and were aroused by every conceivable scenario, while straight men were aroused only by women, gay men only by men. Chivers theorizes that the gap between what women self-report and what actually happens to them physiologically is a byproduct of socialization — that women don’t feel as much permission to be as open as men do. Her colleague Terri Fisher at Ohio State agrees. “Being a human who is sexual, who is allowed to be sexual, is a freedom accorded by society much more readily to males than to females,” she says in the book.


This is exactly what you're talking about and even if your personal sample of 1 doesn't match you must admit that the study has a bigger sample size. Heck there are multiple studies empirically demonstrating that female sexuality is somewhat different than the party line.

< Message edited by GotSteel -- 6/22/2013 7:30:34 AM >

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Help me understand - 6/22/2013 7:38:01 AM   
MsEloquence


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/7/2013
Status: offline 		Not to derail, but his point is valid.

The inability to recognize that we get aroused by imagery is repression.


_____________________________

Eloquence

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Help me understand - 6/22/2013 12:31:49 PM   
Dyfrynt


Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline 		One reason rarely mentioned, at least that I have noticed, is that most men are very insecure about approaching a woman face to face. And it still is primarily (notice I said "primarily!!!!") the man's responsibility to make the initial approach. By going onto the Internet, be it CollarMe or Match.com, it puts a layer between the man and the woman in the contact. If makes a lot of guys feel less insecure.

Of course, it all too often gives them false bravado, which comes out in all sorts of unfortunate ways. I'm only speaking from the male perspective as it is the only perspective I can have. Would be interested in women's thoughts about what removing the face to face interaction does for or against them.

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to MsEloquence)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Help me understand - 6/23/2013 5:49:56 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

we got male pro-doms too.


My understanding is that their business is generally geared towards male subs/bottoms, too. Men are just generally more willing (that is, desperate enough) to pay for sex or play.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Help me understand - 6/23/2013 8:21:51 AM   
goodgirlmary


Posts: 478
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
Men are more apt to want to get laid.


This isn't true. Women are naturally just as randy as men. The difference you see is a matter of sexual repression. Which is also probably why there aren't as many woman on this site.
id agree with that.


Also so is this fifty shade book good or not? Someone here mentions it daily.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Help me understand - 6/23/2013 1:42:53 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

we got male pro-doms too.


My understanding is that their business is generally geared towards male subs/bottoms, too. Men are just generally more willing (that is, desperate enough) to pay for sex or play.


Might want to take a second look. From the one's I have seen, they are "one size fits all" kinda doms. They dont seem to care about sex or orientation.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Help me understand - 6/23/2013 7:12:54 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary
Also so is this fifty shade book good or not? Someone here mentions it daily.


I've yet to hear a kinkster give it anything but a bad review but the vanillas seem to love it.

(in reply to goodgirlmary)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Help me understand - 6/23/2013 10:44:52 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm half with GotSteel on the "Fifty Shades of Grey" thing. I have seen a few (very few) comments from kinksters who liked it. Of the vanilla reviews that I've seen, never once have I seen one that can claim that it is well written. Is it a book that I would recommend to anybody? No. Even for fiction, it is full of too many misrepresentations and is nothing better than Mommy porn.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt
Would be interested in women's thoughts about what removing the face to face interaction does for or against them.

We did have a thread on this a while back on the Ask A Mistress board. The subject was discussed in a sense of how women see the subject in regard to male profiles.

What I got from the thread is that the net is not doing men any favors. When you (general you) are reduced to stats and some text, those things are more likely to work against you than what they would do in the real world. Age is a very good example of this. When you are reduced to that number, you are more likely to be automatically excluded, where if you had met the woman in person, it's more likely for character traits such as your sense of humor to shine through and thereby reducing the importance of age.

A part of this is because we (women) are bombarded by profiles on a constant basis. Either by mail or by who is viewing. I've been here six years. Just yesterday was only the fourth or fifth time that I noticed somebody viewing My profile so repeatedly that I blocked them. This isn't to say that over the years I *haven't* noticed people who came back and looked over and over. The difference is that My "who's viewing page" gets so much traffic that, unless a person is really obsessive, I'm not going to see it. (When there is a picture, it's more likely to be noticed, especially when it's every day for weeks on end.)

In My opinion, males are lost in a sea of white noise on the internet. All of the good things that make you stand out are lost on the personals side of the site.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Dyfrynt)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Help me understand - 6/24/2013 9:26:09 AM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		Despite the pressure to be kewel in the kink community by deriding the fifty books. I have to be honest and say that without ever reading a single book in the (trilogy?) I've noticed the book has mentally prepped a ton of vanilla chicks to be much more accepting of kinky sex after they read them. Sure, their future dom to be would need to go slow and be overly romantic. But. Now. Rope is "hot" in mainstream chick culture rather than rope being pervy or even rapey.

I estimate that within ten years the fifty books will be heralded as the series that first inspired many new female subs in the same way the very very lame and cheesy book "my side of the mountain" is constantly used as a reason by wanna be falconers as the definition of when their interest in my sport/lifestyle was born.

Yes. "my side of the mountain" was lame and full of fantasy that negated the truth about falconry. But without a doubt it has whet manny an avid falconers appetite for the sport. I see fifty doing much the same in years to come.despite folks opposing it as too "fluffy"

< Message edited by SwitchNSpanky -- 6/24/2013 9:29:07 AM >

_____________________________

I am a lover AND a fighter...

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 60
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