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RE: Help me understand - 6/26/2013 5:22:41 PM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
The women are only welcomed if they are young and cute

No it's always been my impression that those are the ones the old and bitter especially work to run off.

rofl.... thankfully we have no old and bitter on these boards... at least among the women

But, if you prefer an example... the House of Hannah

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Sorry, LP. But if they hadnt been 1 - women, 2 - young, 3 - with hot photos, no one would have tolerated half the bs they got away with... or I should say he got away with by pretending to be 4 other women. Want another example? http://www.collarchat.com/m_4474348/tm.htm

How about a counter example:

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Do you? Do you honestly feel better? Perhaps you should ask your Master how he feels about this thread.

< Message edited by GotSteel -- 6/26/2013 5:26:14 PM >

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RE: Help me understand - 6/26/2013 5:39:52 PM

tazzygirl

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Thats a counter example? After she called a group of girls bitches?

You need to take your blinders off.

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Post #: 62

RE: Help me understand - 6/26/2013 7:45:39 PM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
After she called a group of girls bitches?

0.o you don't consider that position a reasonable assessment of what they were saying?

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RE: Help me understand - 6/26/2013 7:47:51 PM

xssve

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That' part of it I think, that and the reception newbie women get, i.e., an avalanche of cmails ordering them to their knees without so much as a hello - word of mouth.

CM also has a bit more of an old school, male supremacy friendly atmosphere, makes it more of an uphill battle for the merely curious who are not ready to be chained in the basement and whipped, their first time out.

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Post #: 64

RE: Help me understand - 6/26/2013 8:12:23 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForgetToRemember

Hello, I am very curious to see what people think about the massive discrepancy in the population of Collarme in terms of men vs women. I couldn't find any statistics, but I estimate that men outnumber women by about 10-1 (that is, if you remove the fake women profiles and fin doms or real doms advertising).

So, what is up with this? Why are men so much more likely to be on this site? Are men more kinky than women? Is there a difference in the percent of men who act on their kinky fantasies vs women? And so on...

So, what is your reasoning for the discrepancy?

FTR....I understand your dilemma....many men have asked similar questions through the years. It's actually a bit more than a conundrum, and nowhere near as complex as many have presumed.

But, fortunately for you, you posed the question when I was here....to help. (It's what I do).

Back in 2003, I was kinda pissed off at the world (sue me) and I simply deemed it to be this way. I told the owners of CM "if you don't do this, the way I'm asking (demanding really, but...I was trying to at least appear forthcoming and helpful), then frankly....I'm done with you".

I apologize.

I blame myself.

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Post #: 65

RE: Help me understand - 6/26/2013 8:18:29 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
After she called a group of girls bitches?

0.o you don't consider that position a reasonable assessment of what they were saying?

Nope. She was asked....

quote:

Have you actually met this man before, face to face?

I also wonder that you're calling someone that you've never had a "session" with "Master".

And lastly, a good Dominant would take a first time play session at the pace of the submissive. So, it's up to him to make sure you're doing okay, not the other way around.

Reasonable questions.

Response...

quote:

I know I'm new to this but something that bothers me is how people ask condescending questions. I call him Master because that's what he is and that's what works for us. Just because someone does not do things the way that you would do them does not mean they are doing it wrong. Stop making people feel bad because they do things differently or just don't know any better.

Asking if they had met is a valid question... are these jitters over simply the play or over the whole relationship? Have they met and established trust yet? Oside's questions were not condescending, nor were they intended to make anyone feel bad.

Then the OP goes on to admit she didnt make certain things clear.

By post 30, we have this from the OP.

quote:

It's simple... A person asks a question. They want an answer to that question. They do not want you to pick apart everything that they said and tell them everything you don't agree with. Have a lovely day bratty bitches

32 was my post....

Now, exactly what are you feeling sorry for her about?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Post #: 66

RE: Help me understand - 6/28/2013 8:45:51 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Reasonable questions.

Reasonable questions plus judgement of her lifestyle. You know the sort of thing that pisses just about everyone off.

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RE: Help me understand - 6/28/2013 8:53:30 AM

goodgirlmary

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

The women are only welcomed if they are young and cute

Im not really either and I was welcomed....and probably hidden by like hundreds of posters hahaha.

Whoever mentionedthe pms is right.they are downrightbizarre at times,everything from marriage to on your knees in my playpen. I no longer open if theyarent someone Ive seen on this side.

< Message edited by goodgirlmary -- 6/28/2013 8:57:07 AM >

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RE: Help me understand - 6/28/2013 3:55:04 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Reasonable questions.

Reasonable questions plus judgement of her lifestyle. You know the sort of thing that pisses just about everyone off.

Care to point out those specific "judgement of her lifestyle" posts?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to GotSteel)

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Post #: 69

RE: Help me understand - 6/28/2013 7:47:32 PM

littlewonder

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I love it when people complain about how others sit in judgment of others when in reality we alllll do it. You can deny it all you want but if people didn't judge then anyone would be your friends, lovers, husband, wife, etc....any ole person will do.

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Everything has changed

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RE: Help me understand - 6/30/2013 4:44:55 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I love it when people complain about how others sit in judgment of others when in reality we alllll do it. You can deny it all you want but if people didn't judge then anyone would be your friends, lovers, husband, wife, etc....any ole person will do.

Absolutely we all judge, but that doesn't mean it's all the same, some places are friendlier than others. I'm used to forums that have kid glove rules for new posters as opposed to rolling out the thunderdome welcome. So when someone asks why aren't there more woman around here? Well we've taken a community that women are less likely to walk into and set it up so that they're inclined to run right back out.

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RE: Help me understand - 6/30/2013 5:03:25 AM

Greta75

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quote:

Why are men so much more likely to be on this site? Are men more kinky than women? Is there a difference in the percent of men who act on their kinky fantasies vs women? And so on...
So, what is your reasoning for the discrepancy?

I think in a majority places of the world, many women are still suffering from guilt of sexual indulgence, imposed by conservative society which still exists in many places of the world. So they may not explore it as readily as men would.

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RE: Help me understand - 6/30/2013 5:19:24 AM

goodgirlmary

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Addressing multiple posts:

I would not say there is a thunderdome
.More like a weed out process. It can make you feel crappy, sure. It is better for it to be clear on arrival that it isnt all roses and sunshine, so that you know what you are getting into, rather than be blibdsided on your thirty day mark.it may feel hostile to new people,but it isnt. People are just very very clear on their opinions. New people can use those opinions to decide who theyd rather not deal with. Theres a hide button. Hide anyone you would rather not know exists;)

I think it is worth staying here, apathetic or not.theres some really great people here.

I disagree with the not ready toexplore comment.why go through the trouble of a sign up if you aren't
Inversely this is the perfect place to explore.its safe, anonymous, and you can ask anything witnout fear of slut judgement or labeling. The little secret thoughts or things you want to talk outbefore doing, the things you wonder if are right or ok, SOMEONE here will have an answer or experience. They arent blinded by who we are or our hurt ferling capacity.it is straight truth. I was in a bad place when I came and had no idea. These "judgmental people" set me straight relatively quick. Im very very grateful to the prople Ive "met" and the things Ive been exposed to.I feel like it isnt fair to blame the experienced posters for how they talk to us, oreven have multiple threads complaining on it. Theres enough admins and mods to keep people in line :)

< Message edited by goodgirlmary -- 6/30/2013 5:28:29 AM >

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RE: Help me understand - 7/1/2013 6:53:41 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary
I would not say there is a thunderdome
.More like a weed out process. It can make you feel crappy, sure.

Then I guess your answer to the OP's question of why are men so much more likely to be on this site is that the women have been weeded out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary
It is better for it to be clear on arrival that it isnt all roses and sunshine, so that you know what you are getting into, rather than be blibdsided on your thirty day mark.it may feel hostile to new people,but it isnt. People are just very very clear on their opinions. New people can use those opinions to decide who theyd rather not deal with. Theres a hide button. Hide anyone you would rather not know exists;)

I disagree, it's not just a matter of having strong opinions, there's a culture of heckling people for not conforming to your(generic plural) very very clear opinions. Furthermore there's a lot to be said for getting a grace period to learn the ropes. Hopefully afterward they've learned enough not to make the blunders that routinely get new posters attacked around here. And are more likely to have learned to operate forum features such as the hide button rather than resolving the issue by just walking away from the forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary
Inversely this is the perfect place to explore.its safe, anonymous, and you can ask anything witnout fear of slut judgement or labeling.

That's not what I'm seeing, I mean here's a whole slut shaming thread:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4249498/mpage_1/key_slut/tm.htm#4251075

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RE: Help me understand - 7/1/2013 7:12:26 AM

goodgirlmary

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Firstof all, I would not even concern yourself with my opinion. Im new to forums, inexperienced and generally not that blessed with common sense. That being said, no one hear is chading me with metaphorical pitchforks.the way the thread goes depends on how you take what they give you. If they are wrong, stop talkibg or RESPECTFULLY present your case. If they are right, shut up and learn! Basically thTs the troubke with us new people, we think we know and we talk a lot.

Look I screw up around here constantly. That day may be rough, but by the next, it is forgiven, or at least let go. Maybe I take the giving of criticism better than some, but if I screw up I apologize and try to learn from my mistakes.You cant coddle around here. The other side of the forum is insane. Better to keep us new people informed and under (for lack of a better word) control than to let us carry on like screwballs. I know of at least two newbies that signed up for onlibe training this week in a stupid way. One posted, git the answers they hopefully needed. The other saw the thread. Common sense right? Not always to new people. I cant speak for everyone, but Im grateful for these supposed onlibe bullies. Theyve never steered me wrong.

In short, they ultimately cut us slack and protect us. Why cant you cut them slack. Even when tbey are being hostile, it doesnt last for that long anyway.the board moves too quickly for that.

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RE: Help me understand - 7/1/2013 7:13:46 AM

goodgirlmary

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Ps that thread isnt even bad imo. Its just another pointless thread. You are reading too much into things

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RE: Help me understand - 7/1/2013 1:54:48 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

That's not what I'm seeing, I mean here's a whole slut shaming thread:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4249498/mpage_1/key_slut/tm.htm#4251075

While I do agree that some responses to some new posters are not as kind as I would personally like to see, I would call that a bad-original-post-shaming thread, not a slut-shaming thread.

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RE: Help me understand - 7/4/2013 9:02:31 PM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

That's not what I'm seeing, I mean here's a whole slut shaming thread:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4249498/mpage_1/key_slut/tm.htm#4251075

While I do agree that some responses to some new posters are not as kind as I would personally like to see, I would call that a bad-original-post-shaming thread, not a slut-shaming thread.

That's sort of like saying the Civil War wasn't over slavery, it was over states rights. Yeah, sure it was over a states rights issue and that issue was slavery.

Sure there's often a certain naivete among new posters that leads to threads that a more experienced forumite can immediately recognize will be a train wreck. But when there are new posters so consistently asking the same naive questions, I don't think those questions/posters are worthy of heckling. Of course new posters have a tendency to say ignorant things, they are new. To my way of thinking that essentially boils down to heckling new posters for being new.

If we as a community are looking to drive off certain demographics, we are going about it right.

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