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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:34:55 AM   
sixstrokes


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/18/2006
Status: offline 		lady morgynn
of course you can see offence where there is none if you want to - it is just the fact that people want me removed from the site because they see such offence which annoys me

(in reply to sixstrokes)
Profile   Post #: 201
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:35:35 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		This thread might be more productive, if those attacking the OP looked inside to consider why.

Why can't a question simply be an observation,why does it always have to be about YOU?

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 202
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:35:45 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		You are so right... I was *amazed* at how little my size means to most people, at the level of acceptance I have found, in this subculture.  It's not why I stay... I stay because I am Domme, of course!

Interestingly, the only flames I've gotten re my weight in email here on Collarme have been from *women* (of model proportions) whose profiles seem to indicate pro Domme status of some kind... I can only assume that they feel I am cutting into their business! LOL. That has to tell us something, eh?

quote:

ORIGINAL: newdombbw
As one who has yet to put in my 2 cents' worth - I hadn't noticed a preponderance of BBWs in the lifestyle. But I HAVE been extremely surprised by the number of submissive males who are attracted to BBWs.  They seem to feel our bulk only adds to our sense of Domination.

So, that being the case, maybe the question shouldn't be why we're IN the lifestyle, but why do we STAY in the lifestyle.  The answer?  There's an obvious need/demand for us.

Mistress Gea


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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to newdombbw)
Profile   Post #: 203
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:37:28 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		geez, it was meant as a joke, I was trying to help lighten the mood around here, so get over it already!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes
and lady morgynn - i think all people fart i just dont like it in public - you really are too sensitive


< Message edited by LadyMorgynn -- 6/27/2006 11:44:51 AM >

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Lady Morgynn
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(in reply to sixstrokes)
Profile   Post #: 204
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:39:21 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

There's a great saying that "By and large, women in the scene are bi and large."

There is something to be said about the lack of self esteem. Women who don't feel confident and successful dating in the vanilla world find themselves online or shoved into sub-culture territory and find that their inner fantasies can come true by the "dom of their dreams" and that their weight has become far less of a hindrance to them.

Otherwise I'm not really sure- but I will agree that I think there is a far higher percentage of very overweight people (male and female) in the scene versus the general vanilla population.


Both dominants I have been involved with noted the number of obese people in the lifestyle. My first dom compared this with the swinging lifestyle, which he was involved with for 5 years before embracing his dominant side. He said in his view that he found the swinging community more aligned with society in relation to weight than the BDSM community. The dom I am currently involved with told me he had noticed this also. I see a lot of people offended by the opening post, but his question is one that many people have about those involved with BDSM.

Is it a subcultural thing (I mean they call them munches because people eat food there...lol), is it an esteem issue? Is it that people usually wait until middle age to explore this lifestyle and have packed on a few pounds? I do not  know the answer, and I doubt I will find one even if I did an ethnographic study of it, which I am not inclined to do. It could even be that more Americans than ever are obese? Who the Hell knows, but I think that there have been so many people to make this observation that perhaps it is a valid one. Attacking someone for asking the question as "meanspirited" seems a little harsh. If you are really overweight and offended by someone asking this question I think that means you need to address your own self, instead of accusing someone of being "cruel", sometimes someone is so curious about something they are insensitive to other people.  Im a curious person, and I have some curiousity about the question the OP presented, I just realized I was more than likely to hurt a few feelings by asking this question as some are hyper sensitive about their weight... just my opinion..etc



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 205
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:40:44 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

geez, it was meant as a joke, get over it already!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes
and lady morgynn - i think all people fart i just dont like it in public - you really are too sensitive


And the OP was a simple question on observation.
No need to take personal offense.
Maybe people should heed their own advice...
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 206
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:40:53 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Well I might be Irish but I'm not the Lucky Charms frigging leprechaun.....LMAO. I wish I could dark....I REALLY wish I could.

Even a Lucky Albatross can't help these sorts of threads.

Anyone up for sub vs slave?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 207
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:41:55 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
(Erin - help me out hereeeeeeeeee)


I have been beating my head against a brick wall here on collarme for the last couple of years now trying to get people to understand the concept of personal responsibility.....with very little success I might add....and somehow you expect that I can magically make those light bulbs suddenly click on just because you ask. Well I might be Irish but I'm not the Lucky Charms frigging leprechaun.....LMAO. I wish I could dark....I REALLY wish I could.

Damn it erin - so all my begging comes to nothing?
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 208
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:42:45 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Yes, I took offence at the question.  I explained my reasons for such on another page and will not repeat myself here.

I do think you should have used your brain cells before posting what you did.  Having you removed from the site is certainly out of proportion, and I certainly have not been one of those asking for you, or your posts, to be removed.  Hey, around here, everyone eventually ticks off someone or in general says something stupid that gets them publicly rebuked or flamed or just makes you feel like you wish you hadn't said that.  I had my turn earlier this week.  It's just your turn today.  Get over it and go on.  A week from now no one will remember any of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes

lady morgynn
of course you can see offence where there is none if you want to - it is just the fact that people want me removed from the site because they see such offence which annoys me


_____________________________

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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to sixstrokes)
Profile   Post #: 209
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:42:49 AM   
Kidsphoenixx


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		OK
I can tell you the answer to the OP!
It's because there is "more than the fair share" of overweight people in the whole USA!
People here gorge on garbage, artificial, overly sweet, overly fatty foods!  The food here is overprocessed, artificially EVERYTHINGed, full of sugar, full of fats........... it is all pushed down their throats by the media....they suck it up......from the " good carb/bad carb" stuff to the " why force your child to eat their meal....just feed them our wonderfully vitamin-enriched drink!"!!
They eat just WAY TOO MUCH!!
End of story.

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 210
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:43:20 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

Well I might be Irish but I'm not the Lucky Charms frigging leprechaun.....LMAO. I wish I could dark....I REALLY wish I could.

Even a Lucky Albatross can't help these sorts of threads.

Anyone up for sub vs slave?

Lol Em... I dare you... really... start that thread...
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 211
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:44:05 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		NOOOOOOOOO!!!!  not the dreaded <gasp!> SUB VERSUS SLAVE!!!!  AAAAAAAArrrrrrgh!!!

<running for the hills>

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Even a Lucky Albatross can't help these sorts of threads.

Anyone up for sub vs slave?


_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 212
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:46:16 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Lol Em... I dare you... really... start that thread...
Peace and Rapture


I'm not a masochist.

But I have to say this is actually the most productive thread I've ever seen on the topic of weight in the scene.  We've actually had a few people break out of the "Don't talk bad about fat people!" and "Fat people are beautiful!" cycle.  Awesome.  I call progress.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 213
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:49:31 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
And Amen to that.


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 214
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:50:56 AM   
purelea2003


Posts: 78
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline 		I've been on CM a few months now but not paying much attention to the boards. I think this if My first post. When I read this question My mind translated it to 'what attracts overweight women to BDSM'? Then on reading the replies realized My skin's too thick because I wasn't offended. Regardless, as someone in the medically obese catagory, I'm glad it was posted because it made made Me think about whether I would still be attracted to BDSM if I were 150 pounds lighter. The answer is - probably more so because I'd have an even greater variety to chose from here (not that I'm complaining about the choices I already have!). I don't know if anyone else has noticed but there's an appalling lack of slaves in the vanilla world.

(in reply to sixstrokes)
Profile   Post #: 215
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:53:32 AM   
rose442


Posts: 60
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes

Why does bdsm appear to attract far more than its' fair share of overweight women?


Let me say this. I did a post a while back that Master and myself caught total hell for. It does not matter how sweet and lovingly you ask the question about BDSM and overweight people on here. You will be picked apart.
 
I am overweight. Master hates it. BECAUSE of my health. Wwe have been trying to find what will work for me to lose the weight. But so far have not figured it out without starvation. Not happening. I have been watching what I eat. And exersize. So far, no change. But I went to a event and I noticed too that out of 100 people there, there were maybe 5 that were not obese. So I asked the question here. I was amazed.... NOT APPAULED at the size of people there. I was just curious as to why that is. That yes in fact so many sub/slaves are overweight or obese.
 
Good luck in getting answers to your simple to the point, no criticism question. I got no where with my general question. No answers just beat to death.
 
rose442

_____________________________

This slave is Masters, heart, mind, soul, and body. To use as Master wishes, when Master wishes to do so.

(in reply to sixstrokes)
Profile   Post #: 216
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:56:23 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn
I do think you should have used your brain cells before posting what you did.  Having you removed from the site is certainly out of proportion, and I certainly have not been one of those asking for you, or your posts, to be removed.  Hey, around here, everyone eventually ticks off someone or in general says something stupid that gets them publicly rebuked or flamed or just makes you feel like you wish you hadn't said that.  I had my turn earlier this week.  It's just your turn today.  Get over it and go on.  A week from now no one will remember any of it.


I really just don't understand the poisonous nature of your responses to this OP. Use your brain cells before posting? Maybe the OP was actually expecting that some people would use theirs before responding. The "flames" that I have seen are primarily coming from you, both here and on the other thread to him.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 217
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 12:01:05 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		Mist took all the words out of my mouth.

There was NO reason for ANYONE to be offended by the OP. I've been saying this all afternoon, and i'll keep saying it: there was nothing derogatory about the OP. People just took it a wrong way, because they had to think about the post, and they didn't like that.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 218
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 12:01:15 PM   
incognitobynight


Posts: 61
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kidsphoenixx

OK
I can tell you the answer to the OP!
It's because there is "more than the fair share" of overweight people in the whole USA!
People here gorge on garbage, artificial, overly sweet, overly fatty foods!  The food here is overprocessed, artificially EVERYTHINGed, full of sugar, full of fats........... it is all pushed down their throats by the media....they suck it up......from the " good carb/bad carb" stuff to the " why force your child to eat their meal....just feed them our wonderfully vitamin-enriched drink!"!!
They eat just WAY TOO MUCH!!
End of story.



BILL MAHER!    IS THAT YOU?????

(in reply to Kidsphoenixx)
Profile   Post #: 219
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 12:07:07 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		The OP, *as written,* was incendiary.  Do you think for a minute that if someone had asked "Why does bdsm appear to attract far more than its fair share of black men?" or Why does bdsm appear to attract far more than its' fair share of old people? " that the responses would have been any different?    Of course, it's NOT okay to ask those questions, because it's not PC, and because people can't help if they are old, or black (or whatever).  But it is not PC to be overweight if one is female, plus the general perception is that people CAN help if they are overweight,  and therefore it is always open season on overweight people and ask such silly questions as, "Why does bdsm appear to attract far more than its' fair share of overweight women?"

What's a fair share, anyhow?  Who decides what slice of the world we're allowed to inhabit before we take up too much of it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I really just don't understand the poisonous nature of your responses to this OP. Use your brain cells before posting? Maybe the OP was actually expecting that some people would use theirs before responding. The "flames" that I have seen are primarily coming from you, both here and on the other thread to him.


_____________________________

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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 220
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