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SexyRed -> RE: Overweight bdsm women (7/22/2006 10:11:58 AM)
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It is raining here so I am bored and I actually read most of this thread. I normally do have a life, but today I chose to read this.
I agree that the OP stated his "oh so innocent" question with the express purpose of inciting a riot. He was very successful. Why? Because on every BDSM site as well as places like Craigslist, there are millions upon millions of threads about FAT WOMEN. It is the only bias that is still politically correct to have.
As many have stated very eloquently, the preferences that we all have are 100% legitimate. We are all entitled to what and desire and go after what we want. What we are NOT allowed to do, but so many do, is to put down others who do not meet your personal standards.
I am constantly disgusted by the amount of bashing that goes on in the name of "honesty" to larger women. I am sorry, but I do not feel that men get this same treatment, at least only from the perspective of having 25 pages of threads dedicated to them. No offense to larger men as they must have their own issues similar to women, it is just not spoken of as often.
I am also sick of these labels and how they began to be overrused and overstated. BBW? A term coined in the 70's to represent the fashion industry's entre to selling clothes size 14 and up. They had to devise that because more than 60% of all women are that size. Our society is overwhelmingly getting larger; it is not just in BDSM. I was a plus size model in the 80's and I never heard the term until it was online.
People online have a safety net of saying whatever it is they want to say without fear of reprisal, other than flames. I dare anyone who dislikes larger women or men, or short men or women, or blue haire, no teeth, whatever...to go up to them on the street and ask the same ludicrous questions that one gets online.
I am a BBW by my own definition according to the labels that I must use today online. I was approached the other day by someone online who said they loved my photo, I was hot, blah blah blah and how intelligent I sounded. We started IMing. At some point in the conversation, he said, I need to ask you a question: why would you describe yourself as a BBW when your photo does not indicate that. I said because I am. He said, no, no!! Your photo looks like you are a size 8/10. I said, no, I am much larger than that. He said, oh, you must have sent a fake photo then if you describe yourself as a BBW. I said, no, the photo is a few months old and you are a moron, so good bye.
He said, "God, I thought I would talk to you and you would be nice since thinner women are all so bitchy. He said I only wrote you because I thought that because you describe yourself as BBW you would be open to anything" BTW, this was on a vanilla site.
Now, you just don't hear that kind of thing out on the street.
My point is that this thread and those like it are never going to end, ever, because people have a need to put down others, to try and persuade others to their points, they have an irrational fear of those who are overweight, they feel frustrated that they might become overweight, they are upset that they are not meeting "Barbie", who exists only their dreams.
I was not going to reply but I am so OVER this constant litany of why are there overweight women in the world and the bashing that goes along with it. Yes, I understand that many feel the OP was not bashing, but many do and I am one of them. You must read between the lines. Sometimes the most innocent sounding question is simply stated to provoke; it is called passive/aggressive behavior.
I just know that I have always met my partners through real life situations and not one of them ever asked me the same ludicrous questions that I get asked as a self-defined BBW online. Sadly, the social and the busy nature of life as well as my interest in BDSM, forces me to look online as well, so I have to hold my head high, keep my confidence level and hope that someone intelligent will come along.
One can only hope for some enlightenment of those who participate in the online community and for people to not use their own preferences as a battering ram against those who do not fit their ideals.
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