quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

So there could be compassion without neuroses...........Love without greed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

So there could be compassion without neuroses...........Love without greed.

You have quite concisely summed up my personal foundational preferences for pretty much any relationship, but especially bdsm.  You managed to do it without words like 'codependent,' 'personal responsibility,' 'self actualization' and the like, which I have yet to master.

Beautifully put, indeed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Some threads today made me wonder about so much of the discord that goes on here-the lack of objectivity-ego centrism.

I understand personal points of view are all we have to offer.

But questions asked are often about things that have nothing to do with us, personally.

Why do you think that so many of us have to make it all about us? Is that not the way a baby views the world, as entirely revolving around it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Read back through.

It's about the flaming and bickering that arises from everything being taken personally, rather than objectively.

Then you'll understand.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
The most important thing a Master or Mistress can do for a slave, is this.

Once that is realized and abolished-you have reached purity in submission.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
Why do you think that so many of us have to make it all about us? Is that not the way a baby views the world, as entirely revolving around it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
Why do you think that so many of us have to make it all about us? Is that not the way a baby views the world, as entirely revolving around it?

Should I make it all about you then? or maybe by the guy down the street or maybe some person on the other side of the world.

Last time I checked I am out for my own growth and happiness.  I also happen to be out to be for the growth and happiness of those significant to me, but not at the expense of my own growth or happiness.  I also happen to cheer others on of less significance to gain their own growth and happiness.  I may on occassion assist when possible, but I don't try to hinder their growth or happiness either.

Call me selfish or self-centered I am not offend, but I am no martyr for the sake of anothers happiness.  Frankly, I have seen very very few individuals that don't make it all about them selves.  However, most of us are able to incorporate others into our life successfully.  And instead of it being "It's all about Me!"  it is "It's all about Us!"  I believe either exteme.. be it "all be me" or "all about You" is neither healthy or functional.   to me... "All about Us" as the best chance for everyone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
The most important thing a Master or Mistress can do for a slave, is this.

Once that is realized and abolished-you have reached purity in submission.

I'd say that this is one of the best things anyone can do for anyone. 

And they haven't reached "purity in submission", they've simply come to an understanding of themselves which allows them to actually make themselves fulfilled.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

To peel away the layers that society builds over the natural core, and allow them to find a happy intimacy with it. To show an acceptance that burns away the shame that egalitarian society so sickly tries to use to control it............

And provide refuge, and anchorage to encourage it's growth.

You see,the pleasing aspect arises from a misguided need to feed that core-but dishonestly-that is where the manipulation comes into play. And D/s is not what fosters this-it is vanilla culture.

Once that is realized and abolished-you have reached purity in submission.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

'In my personal opinion' responses are made because at the end of the day it is all about me....  in every interaction, in every piece of gained knowledge, in every way i interpret the world around.  My experiences are never the identical to anothers and in essence to express oneself is to give a reflect of the interpretation of any particular subject responded to through our eyes.  Therefore, to speak with any validaty on any subject and bring it home and give it meaning, it all comes back to an individual perspective.  Hence, it is all about me, or you or whomever is talking and I totally disagree with LuckyAlbatross that it is all about insecurities.  I believe it is a relationship between the zeros and ones and thus finding of a common ground in order to make the relationship valid whether in arguement, discussion etc.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with voicing opinion especially if and when the opinion is backed with real time experience of our own not that of someone elses where bits and pieces are missing to give a full account.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

Caretakr, true in many instances but if one is truely looking for reasoning then they should also be taking many more than one instance and combining them to come to a reasonable and logical conclusion.  It is the same as any scientific research, you compile the information from more than one source to find a conclusive or perhaps inconclusion discovery.

I disagree with anyone quoting anyone elses experience rather than their own as there is no direct connection with it hence information goes missing and the actual story is not fully told.  We put many individuals on pedestals due to discoveries, successes etc. that tell their story as individuals from their perspective.  Why should we be any different.  I will not tell Jane's story, nor yours, or anyones for that matter.  I will tell my story, cause that is the story I know completely (how it began, how it transpired, how it felt, and how it ended), and from there i add to the total picture of and when someone draws a conclusion hopefully they draw it from a wealth of gathered information and not just one source.  So I still believe yes it is all about about me as per the ops topic heading.

Good science is derived from a wealth of resources not an individual one.  But put into perspective we can only really tell our own story.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr


But the topic was brought up to discuss the idea of ego centric projection. Where the expression of opinion of others, is somehow twisted into being personal by the reader-when that was never the intention to begin with.