RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment?

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Focus50 -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/28/2013 9:15:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar My ex and I did that. He would often throw out in fights "you are just like your (severely mentally ill) mother!" because he KNEW it would drive me up the wall when he did. He'd do stuff like that for no other reason than that he was mad and wanted to say the worst possible thing he could to me. It had no bearing to the topic of the fight, no relevance to what caused it, and no part in finding a resolution. The only reason he'd bring it up was because he was mad and wanted to hurt me. I NEVER forgot stuff like that, let alone forgave him for saying it. So ever fight we had would get bigger than the previous one, because every time we fought, all the resentment for the unforgiven, unforgotten passed fights would get dragged back in. You are quite a piece of work...! All along, you perpetuate obsessive/compulsive shit about words I used (like "ammunition" and where "everything is fair game" etc) and here you are giving first-hand examples of exactly the kind of worst-case negative crap I've been talking about and you (and others) have been arguing against like you don't know what I've been talking about at all. And you remember it, too??? Hypocrites all...! Focus.

Focus50 -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/28/2013 9:25:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Especially when, as Michael pointed out, it's an easily learned skill to prevent it ever happening again. I'm curious if Focus has gotten into a relationship. I remember him from b.com where he was recently out of one. It would be sad if in all this time he's not simply because he refuses to learn skills to enable him to have a happy relationship. Don't recall prying into details of your relationships - past or present - or of anyone else's here, and not here.... Believe what you want but you've got some mighty hard acts to follow in this thread. As for that first sentence, well I see what post you're taking your lead from.... And I'm so done in here. Hooroo! Focus.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/28/2013 9:29:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 You are quite a piece of work...! All along, you perpetuate obsessive/compulsive shit about words I used (like "ammunition" and where "everything is fair game" etc) and here you are giving first-hand examples of exactly the kind of worst-case negative crap I've been talking about and you (and others) have been arguing against like you don't know what I've been talking about at all. And you remember it, too??? Hypocrites all...! Focus. Dude, do you have trouble with reading comprehension? I've mentioned THREE times before that I've been in a relationship with an ex where we had exactly that style of fighting, and that BECAUSE I've been in that type of relationship before, and know FROM EXPERIENCE where it leads to, I am absolutely unwilling to go there again. I've also never pretended like I didn't know what you where talking about, I've made it very clear from the beginning that I know EXACTLY what you're talking about, and that BECAUSE I know what fights like that are like, they are an absolute deal-breaker for me. As to me being obsessive compulsive about your own words, make up your damn mind. When somebody takes your words literally as how you wrote them, you whine that they're taking you too literal (even though you never actually come in and clarify what it then was you DID mean), when somebody runs with what you say and interpret what they think you meant, you whine that they're taking you out of context. You've done nothing but make passive aggressive digs at me like I'm somehow trying to attack you when the ONLY thing I've been saying all along was: TO ME that would be a deal breaker. Djeezes Christ, if your oversensitive passive agressive refusal to read what people are saying is any indication of all of your style of fighting, it's no wonder that you can't figure out how people fight without getting nasty to each other.

SunTzuSwe -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/29/2013 9:22:56 AM)
Let's play nice. It is possible to forgive and let the matter drop and still be in a funk. It takes a while to get back to the normal cheerful mood, nothing strange about that. Personally I like a cuddle to speed up the process but everyone is different.

theshytype -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/29/2013 10:41:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SunTzuSwe Let's play nice. It is possible to forgive and let the matter drop and still be in a funk. It takes a while to get back to the normal cheerful mood, nothing strange about that. Personally I like a cuddle to speed up the process but everyone is different. I agree. People are not all the same. It doesn't require an all-out battle, with names and dishes being thrown, to affect my mood. I've been married for 12 years and our arguements involve discussing our individual feelings, as adults, without personal attacks. Still doesn't mean it doesn't put me in a less-than happy mood when everything is said and done. Actually, since I'm that way, I personally would find it a bit odd if my partner weren't similar. To me, it would feel as though the discussion was completely forgotten, as well as the resolution. But that's the way I'm wired. I feel that it's another area where we are compatible. If my partner didn't understand this part of me and expected me to be my normal self right away, straight from serious mode, that probably would lead to a failure in the relationship.

TNDommeK -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/29/2013 11:31:58 AM)
Im late to this party, I see. I got up to page four and something shiney caught my eye. However, I'm proud I managed four pages. Ok, so yea, he and I both will use spanking as a punishment, should it fit the crime. There are times he will dismiss the girls to their rooms etc. if I feel my slave should be paddled, damn right, she gets it. Hubby will do the same. It usually doesn't result in that. We give off a clear impression when one is slippin'. [;)] so they will straighten up pretty quickly.

Focus50 -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/29/2013 9:09:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar Dude, do you have trouble with reading comprehension? I've mentioned THREE times before that I've been in a relationship with an ex where we had exactly that style of fighting, and that BECAUSE I've been in that type of relationship before, and know FROM EXPERIENCE where it leads to, I am absolutely unwilling to go there again. I've also never pretended like I didn't know what you where talking about, I've made it very clear from the beginning that I know EXACTLY what you're talking about, and that BECAUSE I know what fights like that are like, they are an absolute deal-breaker for me. As to me being obsessive compulsive about your own words, make up your damn mind. When somebody takes your words literally as how you wrote them, you whine that they're taking you too literal (even though you never actually come in and clarify what it then was you DID mean), when somebody runs with what you say and interpret what they think you meant, you whine that they're taking you out of context. You've done nothing but make passive aggressive digs at me like I'm somehow trying to attack you when the ONLY thing I've been saying all along was: TO ME that would be a deal breaker. Djeezes Christ, if your oversensitive passive agressive refusal to read what people are saying is any indication of all of your style of fighting, it's no wonder that you can't figure out how people fight without getting nasty to each other. I've long since stopped caring about who said what about whom in here or the topic itself but I'll allow myself this tangent. And while I concede I did my part, damned if I'm taking the full load for the crap that went down. You've likely made some valid points above but because of that general crap, I can't be bothered going back and re-reading your specific posts. Besides, you have the rare "quality" of being even wordier than myself.... ;) But I'll correct a few things for you. Firstly, I'm no shrink but you've likely never met anyone with passive/aggressive disorder or you'd know I ain't it. Mostly, I've been, or certainly became, aggressive. Angry and/or aggressive people all eventually cool down for the sake of civility or whatever, which does NOT then qualify them as passive/aggressive. Cos that be everyone who ever lived. I know 2 who do qualify. One is the manager of the adjoining workshop to where I work. On any given day I might go in there and he's my best ever buddy - couldn't be more polite and helpful etc. But half an hour later when I go back to return something etc, the gods of war are on the rampage. Or vice versa, if I go in and he's in a mood, I just shrug and check back a little later. The thing is, there is no real warning of those mood shifts or apparent reason; no gradual transitioning from one to the other. That's likely why it's qualified as a disorder since the vast majority don't suffer from it. Me, I'd never work for or with such a person - fuel & fire - don't need the drama. I have personal unsaid rules with him in that I know he has a temper and extreme & rapid mood swings so I won't allow him to project them at me or talk down to me etc when he's going off. But I understand he's like that so I simply check back in awhile. Dunno how his missus lives with it but I'd imagine a more practised and refined approach to mine - give him space and wait a bit.... As for this thread, I've said things I regret but also not without provocation. One thing I absolutely stand by is I don't believe certain people here acted with any spirit of reasonable discussion or mutual understanding. Too many opportunities were taken to assume the worst or most extreme of things I said and to demonise me for their own narrow-mindedness through vehicles of strict and literal interpretations to blatant misrepresentations. Of how I advocate grudges and resentment, how I apparently think all relationships have to have fights, of freakin' trolling for chrissakes. All while they're regaling tales of perfect personal relationship utopias where there is no bad to take with the good - just resplendent harmonious win/win bliss. And I believe in unicorns and world peace and that only white people are racists, too.... Damn right I got angry and I got aggressive. And why wouldn't I; from my perspective, I had the same bastardised garbage coming from at least 4 of you! But I ain't any victim anymore than you're innocent in the part you played in ratcheting up the acrimony. However, I am nonetheless the one solely responsible for my behaviour and for that I do apologise to you and all concerned. Focus.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/29/2013 11:20:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 I know 2 who do qualify. One is the manager of the adjoining workshop to where I work. On any given day I might go in there and he's my best ever buddy - couldn't be more polite and helpful etc. But half an hour later when I go back to return something etc, the gods of war are on the rampage. Or vice versa, if I go in and he's in a mood, I just shrug and check back a little later. The thing is, there is no real warning of those mood shifts or apparent reason; no gradual transitioning from one to the other. That's likely why it's qualified as a disorder since the vast majority don't suffer from it. Sounds like borderline disorder, not passive aggression. quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Too many opportunities were taken to assume the worst or most extreme of things I said and to demonise me for their own narrow-mindedness through vehicles of strict and literal interpretations to blatant misrepresentations. Focus. I've never made assumptions about what you were saying, which is exactly why I was so heavy on quoting you. I've also never claimed that your lasting mood after a fight is a result from a grudge, or lingering resentment. Like I said, I've been in fights where 'stuff that you afterwards don't mean' got thrown around, so I understand exactly why, if you're in such a fight, you can't just go back to normal like nothing happened afterwards. My only position has been, all along, that fights like that are a deal-breaker TO ME, because I've seen where it has lead me before. I also know that it IS possible to 'forgive and forget' when a fight is focused only around resolving miscommunications, instead of making personal attacks, because that's the how fights unfold in my current relationship. If the fight is only about the miscommunications, the mistakenly taken hurt from the lack of mutual understanding becomes irrelevant once the issue has been resolved. I certainly haven't claimed that I have a utopian relationship dynamic in which fights don't happen, or in which fights stay all rosy smelly and sunshiny. We fight damn hard when we do, but even with that being the case, one thing we never do is say stuff we end up regretting later out of anger. As and addition I will say that it's my experience that when fights get down to the 'saying stuff you later regret' stage, it's a two-sided issue of two people mutually driving each other up the wall. I don't necessarily attribute to a single person's fault. To me, it speaks more of a structural issue in the relationship, which is exactly why I stand firm on my statement that, if such a thing were to happen in my marriage -coming from either side- I'd consider it over, and would start looking for a divorce lawyer. Hope that finally clears up my position to you.

Focus50 -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/30/2013 6:48:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar Sounds like borderline disorder, not passive aggression. Yeah, I googled and those 2 people I know in fact better fit under manic/depressive (or bipolar), not passive/aggressive. Such similar words (when you speed read it) for very dissimilar things.... Sorry 'bout that. [8\|] quote: I've never made assumptions about what you were saying, which is exactly why I was so heavy on quoting you. I've also never claimed that your lasting mood after a fight is a result from a grudge, or lingering resentment. Second paragraph first; this is you not claiming that a lasting mood equates to resentment etc. It's the second paragraph of your first reply specifically to me: UllrsIshtar: "When you fight you fight, and when you're making up and saying that forgiveness is granted you forgive them. Extending the resentment beyond that point I not only consider enormously unfair, and passive aggressive, but also a sign that the issue never really got resolved and you're just pretending to move on." The first sentence seems rhetorical. The 2nd or last is you introducing the "r" word at me and delivering a conclusion at the more negative end of the scale. And back to your first paragraph above, that's quite an assumption (that you apparently don't make, either). quote: We fight damn hard when we do, but even with that being the case, one thing we never do is say stuff we end up regretting later out of anger. Not fighting at all to fighting "damn hard"? I guess it's a relative thing. And I dunno, there's a certain element of creepiness to those who script their fights. Putting rules in place suggests you fight more than most rather than less or not at all. I'll hafta think about that some more.... quote: As and addition I will say that it's my experience that when fights get down to the 'saying stuff you later regret' stage, it's a two-sided issue of two people mutually driving each other up the wall. I don't necessarily attribute to a single person's fault. Well we've had our own personal fight here and judging from the total lack of contrition on your part for the role you played, I'll just assume you're attributing this one to "a single person's fault"...? <shrugs> Focus.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/30/2013 7:06:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar I also know that it IS possible to 'forgive and forget' when a fight is focused only around resolving miscommunications, instead of making personal attacks, because that's the how fights unfold in my current relationship. If the fight is only about the miscommunications, the mistakenly taken hurt from the lack of mutual understanding becomes irrelevant once the issue has been resolved. Years ago I was at my first big leather event and heard a former poster from here giving a presentation on communication. She talked about fighting "effectively" and afterwards we were talking and I suggested changing it to fighting "constructively" which means doing so to improve the relationship, to clarify communication, to find common ground. Having created relationships where we don't hurl poisonous words at each other, were we don't have hidden resentments, and we each talk about our needs and fears and work together to overcome them, fights change into something else and rarely result in hurt feelings, anger, and all the rest of that crap. When I was younger, I couldn't believe anything like that was possible. My family lived for hidden resentments, huge cathartic blowouts, and when I got involved in kink and started talking about relationships I couldn't not believe these blowhard idiots who talked about not fighting, about not blowing up or having hidden resentments. Now I am on the other side and will accept nothing less. I am single because I KNOW what it is like to have a relationship like Ishtar speaks of, I have created a few with some rather wonderful women and I won't go back to anything less that that level of communication, emotional understanding and awareness.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/30/2013 10:30:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar We fight damn hard when we do, but even with that being the case, one thing we never do is say stuff we end up regretting later out of anger. Not fighting at all to fighting "damn hard"? I guess it's a relative thing. And I dunno, there's a certain element of creepiness to those who script their fights. Putting rules in place suggests you fight more than most rather than less or not at all. I'll hafta think about that some more.... That's not passive agression? Really? Methinks you lack any semblance of an idea of what passive aggression means. I never said we didn't fight. I said that I guessed we never fight according to your definition of what it means to fight, after you had said that a fight isn't a fight if nobody said anything they didn't mean. Nice way of pulling that one out of context dude, and attaching a bunch of made up implication to a transition that I supposedly made from one thing to another, when I never for a second have changed my tune on anything. As for scripting my fights. I've told you several times now I don't do that. But it's nice to see that, yet again, you're the one putting words in other people's mouth going of things they DIDN'T say, while you keep whining that everybody is taking your to literally, or out of context. quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Well we've had our own personal fight here and judging from the total lack of contrition on your part for the role you played, I'll just assume you're attributing this one to "a single person's fault"...? <shrugs> That may be your problem right there on why you get into fights where you throw around nasty accusations: you're seeing attacks where there are none. To me, I didn't get into a fight with you at all, what happened to me was the following: - you made a post stating something about your behavior - I made a post stating that I don't tolerate that type of behavior in my relationships - you asked me how I then responded to your listed context - I answered that the listed context didn't apply, because it didn't happen in my current relationship - you replied that you didn't bother reading my post, because I was obviously a liar and what I was saying was impossible, so it must be that my goal in saying so was to attack you - you made a passive aggressive dig at me in a post to another person - I replied I wasn't trying to attack you, just trying to explain that your listed context doesn't apply in my relationship, and why - I replied to the passive aggressive dig - you replied that your listed context wasn't meant to be descriptive of a style of fighting, but instead, the inevitable type of fight any couple eventually gets into - I replied again stating that that isn't true, and that we do not get into that type of fights, and why not - you replied accusing me of scripting fights, called me a liar, and said you regretted using certain phrases, because I was taking you out of context by quoting you. You then accused me of pretending like I didn't know what you were talking about, when I clearly knew. - I replied that I had never said I didn't know what you are talking about, restated my position and reexplained why I had that position - you made a personal attack towards my husband, again claimed you didn't believe me, called me naive, and said that my position was impossible - I again explained my position and why I hold it - you called me a hypocrite, a liar, a piece of work, and claimed that I now finally admitted that I knew what you were talking about - I replied that I had been given examples all along to show I knew what you were talking about, and restated my position that it was because I knew that it was unacceptable to me. I told you I was getting tired of your passive aggressive digs and your whining. Which pretty much lead us where we are now. If you call that a fight, then I don't know what to tell you dude. Apparently you've never seen me fight with anybody on these boards. Surely, me reiterating my over and over again in different ways, in an attempt to make it clear to the other person what exactly I mean, isn't me fighting. Fucking, if that was fighting, I couldn't do much of any posting on these boards with it classifying as a fight. What I was doing was debating you, and disagreeing with you. Emotionally, I wasn't in the slightest bit affected by our argument. It was an intellectual disagreement I wanted to solve, nothing more, nothing less. If that debate registered as a fight on your end, and got you emotionally involved, I don't know what to tell you dude... other than that you may want to try not to get riled up so fast, and over such small, and petty things.

Focus50 -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/30/2013 4:49:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar We fight damn hard when we do, but even with that being the case, one thing we never do is say stuff we end up regretting later out of anger. Not fighting at all to fighting "damn hard"? I guess it's a relative thing. And I dunno, there's a certain element of creepiness to those who script their fights. Putting rules in place suggests you fight more than most rather than less or not at all. I'll hafta think about that some more.... That's not passive agression? Really? Methinks you lack any semblance of an idea of what passive aggression means. As you know, I googled passive/aggressive behaviour last night. Certainly one of us hasn't the foggiest and that be you. Google is your friend, too. quote: quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Well we've had our own personal fight here and judging from the total lack of contrition on your part for the role you played, I'll just assume you're attributing this one to "a single person's fault"...? <shrugs> That may be your problem right there on why you get into fights where you throw around nasty accusations: you're seeing attacks where there are none. To me, I didn't get into a fight with you at all, what happened to me was the following: - you made a post stating something about your behavior - I made a post stating that I don't tolerate that type of behavior in my relationships - you asked me how I then responded to your listed context - I answered that the listed context didn't apply, because it didn't happen in my current relationship - you replied that you didn't bother reading my post, because I was obviously a liar and what I was saying was impossible, so it must be that my goal in saying so was to attack you - you made a passive aggressive dig at me in a post to another person - I replied I wasn't trying to attack you, just trying to explain that your listed context doesn't apply in my relationship, and why - I replied to the passive aggressive dig - you replied that your listed context wasn't meant to be descriptive of a style of fighting, but instead, the inevitable type of fight any couple eventually gets into - I replied again stating that that isn't true, and that we do not get into that type of fights, and why not - you replied accusing me of scripting fights, called me a liar, and said you regretted using certain phrases, because I was taking you out of context by quoting you. You then accused me of pretending like I didn't know what you were talking about, when I clearly knew. - I replied that I had never said I didn't know what you are talking about, restated my position and reexplained why I had that position - you made a personal attack towards my husband, again claimed you didn't believe me, called me naive, and said that my position was impossible - I again explained my position and why I hold it - you called me a hypocrite, a liar, a piece of work, and claimed that I now finally admitted that I knew what you were talking about - I replied that I had been given examples all along to show I knew what you were talking about, and restated my position that it was because I knew that it was unacceptable to me. I told you I was getting tired of your passive aggressive digs and your whining. Which pretty much lead us where we are now. If you call that a fight, then I don't know what to tell you dude. Apparently you've never seen me fight with anybody on these boards. Surely, me reiterating my over and over again in different ways, in an attempt to make it clear to the other person what exactly I mean, isn't me fighting. Fucking, if that was fighting, I couldn't do much of any posting on these boards with it classifying as a fight. What I was doing was debating you, and disagreeing with you. Emotionally, I wasn't in the slightest bit affected by our argument. It was an intellectual disagreement I wanted to solve, nothing more, nothing less. If that debate registered as a fight on your end, and got you emotionally involved, I don't know what to tell you dude... other than that you may want to try not to get riled up so fast, and over such small, and petty things. Lost count of how many times you've politely referred to me as "dude", but guess what that's a symptom of? As is nothing ever being your fault...! Then you should google obsessive/compulsive behaviour, too. Meantime, what you have done consistently is apply the strictest interpretations to practically every little thing I've said. And like an idiot, I've been left to "reinvent the wheel" on human sociology just for you. Well played! People argue or have fights = anger (incl for the passive/aggressive) - anger is an emotion - a negative emotional high - highs take time to come down from. Most of us do the civil thing and call a truce (kiss and makeup etc) well before we've completely come off that negative high. You've chosen to interpret that as, and consequently accuse me of, resentment and passive/aggressive behaviour for being N O R M A L. Kicking myself for not seeing it waaaay sooner but I've been foolishly trying to discuss with someone who's walking/talking unresolved issues. No fool like an old fool. Give me your worst but I really am done with you. Focus.

littlewonder -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/30/2013 5:00:29 PM)
I'll continue to believe in rainbows and butterflies and unicorns then since yeah, we don't fight. <shrug>. I kinda like rainbows and butterflies. And unicorns can be kinda fun. [:)]

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/30/2013 5:04:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 People argue or have fights = anger (incl for the passive/aggressive) - anger is an emotion - a negative emotional high - highs take time to come down from. Most of us do the civil thing and call a truce (kiss and makeup etc) well before we've completely come off that negative high. You've chosen to interpret that as, and consequently accuse me of, resentment and passive/aggressive behaviour for being N O R M A L. I haven't accused you of resentment at all. I've said that I don't accept lingering resentment after fights in my own relationships. I've made not even an implication that I believe you personally are resentful after fights. I only said that I don't accept it when people are after fights. As far as my accusation of you being passive aggressive, I'm doing that based on your behavior in this thread. You've made all sorts of subtle accusations and digs at my person, without having the actual balls to come out and state what you were accession me of outright. You've implied I'm a liar several time, you've implied my husband (who you assumed is my Dom) is controlled and manipulated by me, you're implied that I'm playing games with you and am attacking you, you've implied that I'm delusional, and you've implied that I live in a fantasy world. Yet, after all of those implications, you haven't ONCE come out and actually stated those accusations outright. It was always covered and cloaked, so that if you would have been called out on it (like other people have done in this thread) you could pretend it was all a joke, and complain about people not having a sense of humor. That, my friend, is passive aggression. It's a sign that you are feeling angry, defensive, and aggressive, but -for whatever reason- aren't willing to face the conflict head on by making an outright statement of what is pissing you off, so instead you resorted to passive aggressive digs, in the hopes of eliciting an equally erratic emotional response from me. Furthermore, if you seriously think that it's N O R M A L for you to define an internet debate as a 'fight' and go through this sequence "People argue or have fights = anger (incl for the passive/aggressive) - anger is an emotion - a negative emotional high - highs take time to come down from" over it, I urge your, deeply and sincerely, to get help. You're the only one on this thread who has been approaching this discussion as a fight from the very first moment people disagreed with you -which is very evident by the tone and various passive aggressive digs in your posts- and dude, that is not N O R M A L. Seriously, if you're getting the type of adrenaline rush you're describing from any of my posts, and subsequently feel the need to come down from that, and get into a truce with me, you need to talk to your physician and have your adrenal glands checked. That type of intent emotion over a random stranger stating that they have different standards in their relationship than you have in yours, is a sign you can't ignore of something, potentially dangerous, being seriously amiss with your hormonal reactions to things.

Focus50 -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/31/2013 3:37:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I'll continue to believe in rainbows and butterflies and unicorns then since yeah, we don't fight. <shrug>. I kinda like rainbows and butterflies. And unicorns can be kinda fun. [:)] And so you should; I don't see the harm.... But underneath, you haven't much enjoyed having your own words perverted and scrutinised in the harshest possible light to draw the most negative of conclusions just to score points, either? [:-] We could start a club - hats n everything.... [:)] Focus.

ChrchofDrk -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/31/2013 3:56:11 AM)
Naw. clubs gotta have t-shirts too

Kana -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/31/2013 1:15:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I'll continue to believe in rainbows and butterflies and unicorns then since yeah, we don't fight. <shrug>. I kinda like rainbows and butterflies. And unicorns can be kinda fun. [:)] And so you should; I don't see the harm.... But underneath, you haven't much enjoyed having your own words perverted and scrutinised in the harshest possible light to draw the most negative of conclusions just to score points, either? [:-] Focus. Oh ko my man.You have no idea what it's like living with me.Between the law,my time at the legislature and the years doing debate, I dissect words with a razor blade.I kill her pretty consistently. Course, it's all done with love and a grin,a shit eating one at that, and certainly not to make points (With whom?For what?I mean fuck, I own the cunt. Who can I score against but me?), which kinda sorta maybe makes all the difference. Funny thing-intent matters much in this. Course, I also do it to promote spiritual growth, point out areas where she has room to grow-she don't like it when I do that-makes her squirm. :-) Which,of course, I adore

Exidor -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/31/2013 1:34:39 PM)
Spanking is for fun. Mine, anyway. I use time-out to keep play and correction separated.

Focus50 -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/31/2013 3:28:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Course, it's all done with love and a grin,a shit eating one at that, and certainly not to make points (With whom?For what?I mean fuck, I own the cunt. Who can I score against but me?), which kinda sorta maybe makes all the difference. Funny thing-intent matters much in this. As far as the "with whom?" goes, well, you haven't forgotten this open forum is bigger than your personal relationship? And I ain't the one to ask about "intent" or the "for what?" as I spent most of the time at the pointy end there. Damn right I'm smarting and cursing the "light bulb" for not going on a LOT sooner. lol quote: Course, I also do it to promote spiritual growth, point out areas where she has room to grow-she don't like it when I do that-makes her squirm. :-) Which,of course, I adore Maybe littlewonder's relatively minor contribution was all your fault for not allowing her enough general wriggle room at home? [;)] Focus.

littlewonder -> RE: Do you use spanking/whipping as punishment? (7/31/2013 6:33:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 But underneath, you haven't much enjoyed having your own words perverted and scrutinised in the harshest possible light to draw the most negative of conclusions just to score points, either? [:-] We could start a club - hats n everything.... [:)] Focus.[/font][/size][/color] As Master said, this is one of his favorite things to do! But I don't get angry over it. We just have a friendly debate and a few laughs. I see no reason to get angry over it as much as he tries to get me to get angry. [:D] I just am not the angry type of person. Anger just seems so useless to me.

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