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RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/29/2013 5:12:06 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrFranks

Easy,

1. She will have a very low net-worth.
2. She will be divorced, sometimes multiple divorces.
3. She will have dependent children.
4. She will be overweight.
5. She will be out of shape.
6. She will not be professionally employed.
7. She will not be a college graduate.
8. She will have past / present experience with using illegal drugs.
9. She will have an obnoxious and self-entitled personality.



This must rank as one of the all time bullshit posts in Ask a Mistress. Much of your list could just as well point to male dominants.

It smacks to me of "I cant cope with strong women so I will post something vitriolic"

(in reply to MrFranks)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/29/2013 5:21:44 PM   
TigressLily


Posts: 436
Status: offline 		I second that, MsLadySue. As for his disbelief there are any "twue" Dommes . . .

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Because women without those qualities delete and block him, so women in more desperate circumstances are all he knows?


. . . perhaps he should join the club of "twue" Doms who periodically contact me about how they secretly want to take it up the b*tt. He must not have been able to find a taker yet, therefore no "twue" Dominant women must exist, or they surely would have jumped at the opportunity. How could any of them resist the irresistible charm of a misogynist?

_____________________________

* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/29/2013 5:34:44 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline 		2 easy steps to figure out if someone is dominant:

1) Define what you mean by dominant.
2) Compare that with the person in question.

See? It's really, really easy. There are only 2 steps, and the second one is just a matter of comparing things. It's the first step that's the tough one.

_____________________________

I almost never return to a thread, so if you saw my post and want me to hear your reply, please message it to me.

(in reply to caged221)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/29/2013 5:48:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sml53
IM WONDERING HOW MANY DOM REALLY GET A SEXUAL TURN FROM VARIOS BDSM ACTIVITYVS HOW MANY ARE IN IT JUST TO FEED THEIR INSECURE EGOS.LETS FACE IF A FEMALE IS DOMINANT AND SOME WHAT ATTACTIVE SHE CAN HAVE 5 OR 10 SUBS MALE KISSING HER FEET OR WHAT EVER.IF SHES REALLY CLEVER SHE MAYNOT EVEN HAVE TO WORK FOR I FIND THIS KIND OF DOM DISGUSTING AND THE MEN WHO CATER TO THEM WIMPS AND FOOLS.IM SURE THIS WILL PISS SOME PEOPLE OFF BUT I DONT CARE, SUB ROB

For future reference, I do agree with Steven about the caps lock. Since it's a written forum, it might be an advantage to make a better impression.

To answer your question, I don't always have a sexual turn on from BDSM activities. Quite often, that has everything to do with who I am playing with. Sadism isn't necessarily foreplay to Me. In the simplest terms, I enjoy hurting people for fun. That "fun" could be just that I enjoy inflicting pain and I am engaging in activities that both the bottom and I get something from the experience. I tend to call Myself an equal opportunity sadist, which means I engage in BDSM with both men and women. However, I'm not sexually attracted to women, so there's not going to be a sexual response from Me when I have a scene with a female. As for males, it's really going to depend. Some people, I have that chemistry with and others that I don't. I can have two separate play dates with two different people, whip them pretty much the same way, and even have those two people have similar reactions. I might have a sexual response to one male, but not the other. There's a lot more to it than just whipping a person and the other receiving the marks. I just thought I'd throw that in there to debunk the stereotype that some people get from porn.

As to the feeding of the ego, I happen to be a pretty good top. In most cases, if a person does something and does it well, that can definitely be good for the ego. Doesn't matter if that thing is singing, dancing, or engaging in BDSM. Good tops, particularly female ones, are always sought after.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/29/2013 8:25:31 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrFranks

Easy,

1. She will have a very low net-worth.
2. She will be divorced, sometimes multiple divorces.
3. She will have dependent children.
4. She will be overweight.
5. She will be out of shape.
6. She will not be professionally employed.
7. She will not be a college graduate.
8. She will have past / present experience with using illegal drugs.
9. She will have an obnoxious and self-entitled personality.





1. Well, I'm not in the top 20% but I'm doing okay.
2. Busted, I did divorce my first husband but have managed to stay married for 23 years to the second one. Definitely till death do us part here now.
3. My children have dependent children but I don't.
4. Nope, not skinny but definitely not fat.
5. I challenge you to keep up with me boyo.
6. Not only professionally employed......recently promoted AND have a part time business that is doing well.
7. Busted, Never bothered with it.
8. Busted again. Though it's close to being legal for sure.
9. Depends on who you ask. Assholes tend to dislike me as do people with passive aggressive personalities and low self esteems. Sucks to be them but I prefer that sort stay away from me so it's all good.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MrFranks)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 12:55:03 AM   
SerWhiteTiger


Posts: 437
Joined: 8/12/2013
From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
Status: offline 		Dominant doesn't mean top. A lot of dominant females prefer to bottom. There's a lot of confusion, since half the people in the lifestyle don't use the words properly.

(in reply to TigressLily)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 6:07:01 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		Agreed. And dominant in vanilla life doesn't necessarily mean dominant in relationships or in the bedroom. I'm extremely dominant in personal and professional situations, but I prefer the submissive role within a D/s relationship.

Bottom line: Trying to ascertain someone's "dominance" via vanilla interactions is probably a useless exercise.

(in reply to SerWhiteTiger)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 10:05:54 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressLily
perhaps he should join the club of "twue" Doms who periodically contact me about how they secretly want to take it up the b*tt.

Well, I'm in this category, so I'll talk about it for a bit. My strapon experiences haven't been great, but I'd rather have a finger up my ass than a blowjob, not exaggerating.

My experience, with CM in particular, is that the vast majority of sub women see a man willing to allow anal penetration as weak and non-dominant. And it's something I desire, not just allow. So I found a tremendous social pressure from women -- not from men -- to either hide that about myself or reclassify as a switch.

I was involved with a woman for a while who is a part time prodomme. She had had an experience where a Gorean uberdom was known as a big bad master in his local lifestyle community, but he was her slave on the down-low. She ended up feeling like a piece on the side, and said she'd never go through it again. So she insisted that if we were to do anything together, I'd have to put something on my Fetlife profile. I did, even though I never broadcast my relationships on the internet, because it was so important to her.

Incidentally, a few years ago I posted that if CM had 4 options, Dom, Sub, Slave and Whacked, that I would immediately choose Whacked. The next post on that thread was from a woman I always thought was slaveyslave, and she said she'd use Whacked too. So I think there are a lot of kinksters who really don't like the prejudices other kinksters have about what you must like and not like if you announce yourself as Dom or sub.

Point being: I enjoy some things a lot of submissive women don't. So I learned quick that I needed to include dominant women in my dating pool, to see if there would be enough vanilla and kink compatibility to work out who would be in charge when. Maybe some men feel less able to let go of how they are perceived in the community, or how they see themselves.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to TigressLily)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 11:28:23 AM   
TigressLily


Posts: 436
Status: offline
Does that mean I can call you boy now? Or babe? Seriously, I'm debating with myself whether I owe you an apology, despite my comments not having been directed to you. I will say this, you must be an awfully secure dude for a non-s.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Incidentally, a few years ago I posted that if CM had 4 options, Dom, Sub, Slave and Whacked, that I would immediately choose Whacked.


Don't know about the Whacked part, but Top & bottom are much-needed designations. Thanks to ResidentSadist among many others, I am much more knowledgeable about the difference between a sub and a slave, and that being a masochist isn't necessarily the same as being a submissive. I'm still stumped about masochistic Dominants, though. TNCuck4Mistress & hylasEA were instrumental in helping me to differentiate between Top/bottom gradations of S/switches. Honestly, only you can make that Switch determination for yourself. Complexity can be confusing.

My reference to the 'twue Dom club' has more to do with hypocrisy than anything else. As if it were some State Secret that there are men calling themselves Doms who are afraid to let on they might have any submissive tendencies or else their whole gig is over (in their minds). In most cases, I could tell these guys only contacted me because I'm not sadistic, so they felt they could safely trust me to Top them in whatever fetish/kink capacity they had been keeping under wraps for X amount of years "waiting for the 'Right One' to be submissive to." As if I could trust them as far as I could throw them (which isn't very far)!

Hell, I've heard more than enough nonsense (not here) about how un-Dommely it is to have your sub fuck you. So it's okay to have a male sex slave who can't fuck? WTH? If he can't perform what I consider to be the basics, I might as well go back to being (semi-)vanilla. Abundance of lousy lovers to pick from in that catfish pool.

Appreciate your refreshing candor.

_____________________________

* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 12:22:21 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressLily
Does that mean I can call you boy now? Or babe?

Only if you let me be the little spoon when we cuddle afterward!

There's a lot in what you said that I could respond to, but I will limit myself to this:

if you click the "Profile" link in the upper right of this screen, you will find your CollarChat profile, which is not the same as your CollarMe (dating) profile. I mention this, because you can set a signature that will appear at the bottom of all your posts, so you won't have to copypaste anymore.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to TigressLily)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 1:06:47 PM   
TigressLily


Posts: 436
Status: offline
Btw, sunshine had told me about the signature feature originally. I went over 255 characters so that's why I have to manually do that one line. I know, it's a pain when being quoted. It's a compromise from not quoting the full Byron stanza.
I figured out the More Smileys pop-up all by myself, I should mention.

_____________________________

* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 1:51:48 PM   
naughtynick81


Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		There are a lot of fakes on here. Especially the ones who want financial domination. There are types in here that use BDSM as an excuse for their personal gains while not really giving a fuck about the concept of BDSM. Many also use it due to some insecurities rather them being genuinely interested in BDSM.


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 3:05:24 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

[Awaiting Approval]

That's a FINE example of female domination right there!

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to TigressLily)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 9/30/2013 5:19:14 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		We need a 'Like' key.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 10/12/2013 1:49:31 PM   
AliceInUndieLand


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		"How to tell if a a woman is dominant"... ??!

It's a difficult one... - and sometimes it is hard to tell and you can never be sure...
- Take my last girlfriend.. case in point ...
- It started well enough ...romantic candle lit dinners for two... - then gradually something about her changed... - very bossy, demanding.. always telling me what to do...
Then she started to dress in rubber, leather and latex.. - but I still didn't get it ...
Call me naive...but I remained none the wiser.. even when she quit her job as a bank manager, changed her name to "Mistress Whiplash" - Truth to tell but it was only when she tied me to the bed one night... burnt off my testicles with a blow torch that I began to suspect she might have dominant tendencies... - You can rest assured I'm a little bit more street wise now !!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 10/12/2013 4:43:26 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Femdommes tend to be sweatier than vanilla women. Also, their nostrils dilate more frequently when they're talking to one. I've not observed any differences beyond that so far.

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to AliceInUndieLand)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 10/13/2013 4:19:18 AM   
PreviouslyVC


Posts: 14
Joined: 2/27/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Incidentally, a few years ago I posted that if CM had 4 options, Dom, Sub, Slave and Whacked, that I would immediately choose Whacked.


Hah! I went with Hedonist as soon as FL made it an option. :D :D


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I used to be VaguelyCurious. Then I forgot my password.

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(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 10/17/2013 10:15:45 AM   
Naksetamun


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

Dommes tend to view cunnilingus as a necessary, extensive, rewarding act -- not a prelude to penetration. If she hates it, you likely are not speaking to a domme.


Woo-ho, the gauntlet has been thrown down.

Is there a femdom in the house who hates cunnilingus?


Sure is.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 10/17/2013 4:18:42 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		And they compress their lips indignantly quite frequently. That's another one.

And they often have square-shaped buttocks. Which they like to cover with very stout denim.

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: How to tell if a woman is dominant? - 10/17/2013 4:20:16 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		And they're obsessive about shaving their armpits.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 80
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