UllrsIshtar
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Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pqui
quote:
Or, you can realize the truth. There is no spoon. Or in this case, "it's just data". Practice that for 4 decades or so and you get good at it. For me, it's all about control. If I were doing the masochist thing I would have to actively choose to experience the pain as "pain" and I'd need to work at it a bit since I'm a bit rusty at that. Well, I was talking about survival instinct and no, you can't realize that. Maybe you are lucky that you have never been there. Its off topic though, but I think that believing that you are the ultimate point of control over yourself is just not very realistic. There are limits to everything. You cannot beat nature. We can maybe cheat it a lot to get our share of control, and with practice it gets more, we can obsess about defying it, but we are by no means the authority. Ultimately, we all just have to follow the programs we are born with and that largely makes us ourselves or just human or maybe in extreme cases just raging madness. That's part of the deal if you are born human.
I think that you're the one who isn't being very realistic, and who hasn't been there yet.
I have a mentally similar way of dealing with pain than Jeff does, though express that through very different reactions.
On one hand, I love play of the type you consider 'mild'. Spankings, floggings, canning, all intended to cause sensations, not blinding pain. It's the equivalent of a kinky massage to me, doesn't register as 'pain' at all, and gets me flying higher than any of the numerous psychedelic drugs I've tried in my day.
On the other hand, I love to pump up play passed the point of safewords, in the realm of 'blinding pain that leads to the singular clear thought of wanting it to stop'. I don't have a lot of space in between 'sensation play pain' and 'blinding overwhelming, out of my mind with agony pain', yet, once I get to the second type, I can endure virtually as much as I want to.
At the very least, nobody has ever gotten me close to giving in and seriously calling it quits (though I do love to beg them to stop and be ignored, because it makes me hotter than hell to be ignored in that context). Granted, I've not played with amputation play or anything really serious like that, but at the same time, the pain itself isn't really an issue to me. In some ways, I observe it detachedly and see if there is any permanent damage being done, and if that's not the case, I just hold on and take it.
The pain itself, while registering as uncomfortable and annoying to me, doesn't register as problematic, or something that needs to be avoided to me. I love bucking in the restraints, testing them, begging for mercy, and proving to myself that I can't get away, and can't make it stop, but I do those things for my own amusement/arousal. If I wanted to I could just stand there and take it, and react very minimally to the impact, but not the pain.
It's because the pain isn't an input that's important beyond the fact of noticing whether or not it's damaging in its intensity. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the point where I would safeword if it's a scene employing safewords, it doesn't really make a difference whether the Top hurts me a 12, a 16, or a 20. It's all in the realm of 'blinding pain that feels as if it's more than I can take' at that point, and my way of dealing with it is always the same: mere acceptance that the pain is registering as a stimuli that I'm experiencing, but isn't important as stimuli to react to in terms of avoidance, or cutting off the behavior causing it.
Very different output from Jeff, but from what it sounds like, very similar processing.
_____________________________
I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for
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RE: From a sadomasochistic POV - I am looking for gener... - 
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