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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/13/2013 2:36:59 PM

Winterapple

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Thank you for sharing the pic of Clyde and Dale.
They're so sweet. Little angels with manes and hooves.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/13/2013 2:46:07 PM

AaNiMaLl

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I was thinking about limits. Some of the interesting limits that I have with my girlfriend are rules that she sets in place and that I have no control over. I have to be the one to drive, she wont go to sleep until I have and she wont talk at all while I am driving. This sort of thing. So it is like I don't control her submission, it is innate. I couldn't push these limits if I tried. I cannot make her less submissive than she is. Training isn't going to change this and actually, I love her for it. The difference with this situation is that the submissive is being asked to do more rather than less than she wants to do. And that is as far as I have got in the thought process. I am a slow thinker. But I will say, that true control isn't in the physical but in the mental. People always look to control the physical first and then the psychological, as in The Evil that Men Do, Stanford and Milgram experiments. So the question shouldn't be can I fist you, it should be what degree of control over you do I have at this point in time mentally? What is his level of authority? Psychological control overrides physical. Imagination is so important. So why should she let him control her? Simply because she has identified herself in the role of a submissive? I think that the bdsm relationship is raised up from more than this but from emotional desire inside ourselves. It is not external or social and it is irrelevant if it is biological, what is definite is that I feel it. No matter how much we convince ourselves that we are doing it for some other reason, it always goes back to easing emotional tension. Emotion tied with satisfaction. Should she let him fist her, in order to meet her need to submit? Does fisting even meet the need for submission? The need for submission stemming from the need to make him more and buy into his vision right? So on the flip side I think that a good question is, is fisting the best way to psychologically empower him?

< Message edited by AaNiMaLl -- 8/13/2013 3:40:38 PM >

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/13/2013 2:52:57 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple

Thank you for sharing the pic of Clyde and Dale.
They're so sweet. Little angels with manes and hooves.

They are damn shitting machines is what they are!

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/13/2013 6:05:31 PM

WarMachine904

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Limits as usually defined here are mental barriers put up inside one's own mind that can be overcome with the proper motivation.

A physical limit is something all together different. With the exception of a prosthesis, if available, a physical limit normally cannot be overcome no matter the amount of motivation.

Just my two cents based on an incredible amount of personal experience.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/13/2013 6:09:05 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
Clyde is on left and Dale is on right

I'm sorry. I'm afraid you're going to need to leave your master. Both of those are WAY too cute to be owned by a True Dom.

(*laughs* I can almost hear Knight saying, "Hey, don't be calling ME true.")

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/14/2013 12:24:28 AM

MasterofSteel

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Since I am looking for slaves who have their limits within my limits, it is not possible for me to push them and a generally it is the slave who ask for my limits and not vice versa.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/14/2013 8:20:51 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

There aren't any under this profile, but I do have some on fet... Even a photo of a unicorn ;)

Lol, that was great, thanks!

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/14/2013 8:32:21 AM

Dangit69

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My experience the "limit" that are set by my sub are there due to physical restraints or emotional. If as a dom i go bull rushing to the fence wanting what is on the other side without taking in all the amazing things that are on the inside of the fence then I am a very poor dom. Hitting an emotional barrier can send your sub screaming from the room or collapsing onto you in full sobs. What makes one more likely to happen than the other is trust. If your sub trust you then she is more willing to move those emotional barriers further back and it is my job as a Master/leader to help her along the way while giving her a SAFE place to come back to when it gets too be too much. Physical barriers that a person can not help well your just a dick for doing it unless it is all about the abuse and nothing else. There are many many kinds of doms and far more different sorts of subs.

< Message edited by Dangit69 -- 8/14/2013 8:35:48 AM >

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/14/2013 5:37:06 PM

deliriuminabox

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AaNiMaLl

So on the flip side I think that a good question is, is fisting the best way to psychologically empower him?

Only if he feels psychologically empowered by breaking my pelvis ....

Also, the wee little horses are so cute! I just want to kiss their fuzzy little noses.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/15/2013 1:05:24 PM

AaNiMaLl

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Technically, at any point in time, it is possible to go past limits with rape. A rapist might get what he wants one time but in doing so wrecks it psychologically and physically. Rape is largely driven by hate. To me domination is love. I just know that I cum faster when there is a look of love in her eyes. That is like total devotion.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/15/2013 1:22:06 PM

Hillwilliam

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FR to the OP.

I might push limits but it would be after I've known someone a REALLY long time and gotten to know them VERY damn well.
In the first place, I tend to play with people whose limits are similar to mine.
DAFUQ? you say. Doms have limits?
yes we (or at least I) do.

Seriously folks. Most limits are there for a sound reason and some of them can be major full blown panic attack PTSD triggers.
A sub doesn't put limits out there to look trendy. they're meaningful.
Maybe you can discuss them after trust has been built as in "why do you have anal as a limit?" If she mentions something traumatic then fucking DROP the discussion unless she wishes to continue.
If it was just a case of a clumsy past lover hurting her, there's hope but that's not the kind of things you work on early in a relationship.
She has limits. You have 2 choices. Either accept them or look elsewhere. Anything else is unfair to you AND your proposed partner.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/15/2013 2:26:06 PM

jola37

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Pushing limits has always puzzled me a bit. Taking someone or yourself over them is far more likely to cause emotional stress than anything else imo.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/16/2013 3:19:12 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jola37

Pushing limits has always puzzled me a bit. Taking someone or yourself over them is far more likely to cause emotional stress than anything else imo.

But luring them oh so elegantly across them, having that poor lil slave willing go past,oh yes, such fun.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/16/2013 4:58:05 PM

ResidentSadist

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One of my personal limits is to try not posting in limits threads. I always get in trouble or cause a ruckus.

How do you feel about limits?
I feel exactly the same way as the Marquis de Sade who's philosophies I first read in Letters From Prison at the age of 13. He said morals (limits) only serve to reflect geographical location. By that he was exemplifying that morals are not innate human nature. My example of this would be that in the middle east a thief is looked down upon, it’s one of the lower crimes and punished by chopping off a hand. In the U.S. we idolize and glorify robbers. Old west bank robbers and names like Jesse James are associated with freedom and it’s an icon of the American spirit. Cool ganster’s like Baby Face Nelson, Bonnie and Clyde, Al Capone also represent freedom and power.

Morals (limits)… as few as possible for me please.

Are they meant to be pushed?
Nope . . . they are meant to be crushed and smashed to bits then reassembled in a useful manner. The process should leave you physically shaken like a new born baby thrust into a bold new world with your new awareness painfully rewriting your perceptions of boundaries until you are in tears and sobbing in a fetal position. Ask any of my Xs about it.

Is it inherently more exciting to push a submissive's limits rather than play within them?
I'm not talking about flogging someone that has "floggers" as a limit. That's bullshit and it's not a limit, that's a fucking preference. Oh, I will do preferences to please my lover, it's a give and take thing and I am a giver. But I also take, really take. I fear the limits you speak of that can be played with are not the same intrinsic moral values I think of when we speak of limits . . . the topics of which mostly fall under the TOS so a viable discussion is impossible.

From your perspective, I guess you would say I am a limit pusher, I don't play around the edges, I go for the beating heart of it.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/16/2013 6:42:17 PM

DesFIP

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They are so cute!

Do you do agility classes with them?

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/16/2013 6:46:21 PM

getoutnow

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blah blah blah. everyone goes on about how pushing ones limits must be emotionally damaging to the sub.

No its not. Some subs put limits on profiles to stop noob Doms from making mistakes THEY don't want to pay for.

I've had several discussions with previous subs who stated limits and hard limits in the beginning. Guess what? They weren't there at the end of the relationship.

Overtime, when you gain trust, respect, admiration, have internal enslavement, and knowing your sub looks at you like you are the best thing since sliced break. Well anything is possible.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/16/2013 8:53:02 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

They are so cute!

Do you do agility classes with them?

No not yet. They are yearlings, so they are in the early stages of training. They are super friendly and very nosy. They will follow him around trying to figure out what he is doing when he works outside. They have even gone as far as trying to steal a hammer.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 8/17/2013 1:34:05 AM

AaNiMaLl

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Sorry to make the discussion definitional, but by definition a limit is something that you cannot push past because the benefit outweighs the cost or whatever. ...It goes both ways. What if as a dominant, you were required to (what is the word) take a dump on someone's chest because they found that dominating. Even though, I would hate doing that. But you should do it right? Because limits are there to be smashed.

However, I do push limits. Like I am tots hard core :). Sometimes, she has to be at work and I keep her home for 15 minutes more.

Actually, I have more limits than my current girlfriend does.

I don't agree with the elegant lure. Mental manipulation (mind fucking) is something to be avoided. Although, I fall into it too often. Simply straight honest communication is the goal.

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RE: Pushing Limits - 9/9/2013 12:30:17 PM

MzSiderosminion

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Limits do change all the time, as the more you progress and experience and go into further deph with things its interesting from what was a limit before to what you dont take as a limit now.

For me you need to trust and have chemisty with the one you play with. And for me i tend to go with the flow. I do have a safe word if want to use it but not had to use it yet, nor do i really want to use it to be honest.

I wouldnt worry about it, go with what you feel comfortable doing etc .

I also like to push myself, being naturally competative, i try to push myself with things and experiences anyways.

Anyways, good luck,

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RE: Pushing Limits - 9/9/2013 6:55:55 PM

littlewonder

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not all limits change over time. When someone says they have made something a hard limit that's what is is...hard, steadfast, unbreakable. Those rarely if ever change with a person and another reason why I tell people to choose wisely what they consider a limit and what is just "not right now but maybe with time".

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