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RE: Pushing Limits - 9/10/2013 8:37:11 AM

MzSiderosminion

Posts: 5
Joined: 8/31/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

not all limits change over time. When someone says they have made something a hard limit that's what is is...hard, steadfast, unbreakable. Those rarely if ever change with a person and another reason why I tell people to choose wisely what they consider a limit and what is just "not right now but maybe with time".

i get what you say.

Hard limits rarely change but from what was asked it wasnt told it was hard limits.

(in reply to littlewonder)

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Post #: 101

RE: Pushing Limits - 9/10/2013 12:13:16 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

Prime example of the difference between having with a romantic, considerate lover and hooking up with some Inet wanker who starts off saying he wants to push your limits:

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I love when men always courted me, wooed me, seduced me...bought me flowers, took me out to a really nice dinner, smiled, made great conversation, listened to me, said sweet nothings to me, held my hand as we went for a walk, etc....

To this day Master still does things like that with me.

I love it, too.
You know you have a good one, though, when the wooing never ends. Otherwise, I just feel as though it's entering into a relationship on false pretenses.

It's reassuring to know there are still some good ones out there; hopefully they're not already taken (but of a subby disposition, of course).

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I have hard limits and I have soft limits.

Appreciate the notable distinction. Hard Limits=OFF LIMITS / Soft Limits=I fucking hate this. <Guys who won't listen to Coldplay songs>

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

Limits are limits. If they're "pushable" they're not limits. Dislikes are not limits. "I'm not sure if I want to do this" is not a limit. "I'll only do this if 'forced'" is not a limit
Limits are lines to NOT be crossed. [Italics mine]

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

I love to push my own limits by taking more than I think I can take, playing well beyond safewords, and well into the realm of consensual non-consent.

There still need to be limits/boundaries established as to what constitutes 'consensual non-consent' so as to only operate within that framework.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Because fisting is not a kink Collarme has listed in its checkbox list, a lot of people interested in it will do a keyword search on it.

Sure it is, under Interests. I have it listed under my Hard Limits. It may not have been there when you first signed up, though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

Taboos are something we will not do, limits are arbitrary and personal.

quote: ORIGINAL: deliriuminabox

The problem I have with "taboo" is that it implies that I find the act abhorrent.

quote: ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

taboo does not imply anything but what it means, simply prohibited.

Some iconoclastic people get a kick out of breaking taboos simply because they are taboo.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterofSteel

Since I am looking for slaves who have their limits within my limits, it is not possible for me to push them and a generally it is the slave who ask for my limits and not vice versa.

Spoken like a truly intelligent Dominant who doesn't need to prove himself to anybody else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AaNiMaLl

To me domination is love. I just know that I cum faster when there is a look of love in her eyes. That is like total devotion.

Can I have this made into a plaque? Only the first bolded sentence, that is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Most limits are there for a sound reason and some of them can be major full blown panic attack PTSD triggers.

This is KEY. I would caution you don't want to play with fire . . . but some of you do. Literally.

In Conclusion: When I'm lying on my deathbed, my last thought won't be Damn, I wish I could have used that strap-on on him. If only that hadn't been one of his Hard Limits!

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to theshytype)

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Post #: 102

RE: Pushing Limits - 9/10/2013 1:27:32 PM

AaNiMaLl

Posts: 78
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Most limits are there for a sound reason and some of them can be major full blown panic attack PTSD triggers.

This is KEY. I would caution you don't want to play with fire . . . but some of you do. Literally.

I am dominant through and through but I have this notion that it must be nice to be submissive. When I was like 16, I had a girl tie me up. Within 10 seconds, I bit her really hard. Like hard enough that I could have torn the flesh out. That was when I learnt that submission is a hard limit for me. I simply cannot handle losing control. Innately, in me, I have this guilt and sense of loss for that. Philosophically, it seems healthy to be able to let go. However, I learnt to embrace being dominant and love it and see it as a strength rather than a weakness. And you know, in that there is a vulnerability still to the one that you love. A dependence so hard that must be like heroin.

(in reply to TigressLily)

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Post #: 103

RE: Pushing Limits - 9/11/2013 3:43:06 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Sunny Quote of the Day
goes to
KnightofMists
for
Keep your women hidden from my clutches

(I know it's a month old, but I *just* saw it.)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4519600/mpage_3/tm.htm

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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Post #: 104

RE: Pushing Limits - 9/11/2013 5:42:24 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Keep your women hidden from my clutches

This reminded me of a Martina McBride song...

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

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Post #: 105

RE: Pushing Limits - 9/11/2013 7:10:41 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

there are some things in my life that are never going to change. any person pushing me on those is literally risking their life with me. my ex did it with something very simple that I had warned him about and it nearly got him knifed as I just happed to have the knife in my hand at the time when he did it.

on other things I have learnt that my boundaries are subjective to the person involved. there are things that had my ex suggested them i'd have been thinking hell no, but when He talks about those things my mind is going oh yeah I can see that working.

my boundaries may be pushed by the right person, new things may get the go ahead with the right person, my hard limits are set for life with everyone full stop. if you can't give me enough respect to leave alone those few things then you sure as hell don't deserve everything else I have to offer you. the reason Himself gets far more of me than my ex ever did is because of the man that he is. I trust him totally with my self from a sexual pov. I know that I can hand myself over to him to do as he wishes, but that at any time if I need to stop then he will with no questions asked until i'm ready to talk. I know that he will never knowingly, or deliberately push my hard limits.

needles

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I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to littlewonder)

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Post #: 106