njlauren
Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
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Describe can say what he want defending the dom in this case, he can claim that the dom was within his rights, or whatever makes him want to denigrate what the OP said, but reading Sheela's postings is quite frankly like reading a case scenario of an abuser. She seems like a kind of naive kid from the writing (yeah, I know, I am at an age when everyone is getting to be a kid to me), and even if some of this is exaggerated, a lot of it rings true, there would be no reason to lie about it. If he didn't want to go to the wedding because it was expensive, then what was the bs about the blow jobs? He simply would have said "I want you to be with me on New Years, I would go with you, but money is tight", but instead, his pea brain whirred around and said "ka ching, I can get me those blow jobs I want and she doesn't like to give". What really concerns me is she is obviously very new to all this, and he jumped in like this was some third rate BD/SM fiction, where he is the master and she is the slave whom he can beat at will, use as he wants and that is crap, pure and simple. I also question someone talking about an absolute control type of relationship with someone so young and inexperienced (yeah, there are people in their 20's that are veterans, but she isn't one of them). An older, experienced dom would know better, they would understand the dynamics of gaining trust and such, and also know that their S has a life, friends, family and so forth, and that if he wants to keep her, she has the right to a life, too. All I see is a bully, some bozo who read something about BD/SM and figured "yep, that be me, I find me some b***h, and she gonna serve me and do anything I want, and ain't nothing she gonna do about it"..... I respect good dominants,male or female, and the varied way they live out their lives and scenes and such, even if some of what they do personally squicks me out, but this guy sounds far too much like what I despise above all, some jerk using BD/SM as a context to be an abusing jerk, who has little or not respect or love for their sub. Reading Sheelas posts I cant come to any other conclusion.
Sheela, I am glad you acted, I got worried reading through these posts and your other ones, you did the right thing. If you decide you want to explore BD/SM with a dom again, you will get to know the difference, a good dom will treat you with respect and love and not as someone to abuse the trust you gave him for his own selfish ends, that is a cardboard dom from a third rate fiction story, not someone who deserves the title. Submissive or slave, don't ever give up your dignity or forget about yourself, and a good dominant won't let you forget it, either:). Good luck, I am really glad you are safe.
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RE: What would you do? - 
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