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Blackmail - 9/4/2013 8:42:45 AM

Hellrider1

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/11/2013
Status: offline

Hello,

I am relatively new to the scene and am being threatened by a Dom I do not wish to have contact with. He says that if I do not go to his for a weekend and submit to everything he requires, then he will expose me and my photo's to my partner, family and employers. He initially threatened on here, then by text and today by letter to my home address. I do not know whether to go straight to the police with this or if there is a way inside the community to stop this behaviour. My understanding was that CONSENSUAL was key.... I do not consent and I do not ever wish to consent to this man.

If I have posted in the wrong section please forgive me, as I am new.

Any advice will be gratefully received.

Post #: 1

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 8:44:30 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

I do believe it might be time to get the local police involved.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to Hellrider1)

Post #: 2

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 8:46:54 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

This:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I do believe it might be time to get the local police involved.

This person is *counting* on you being too embarrassed to go to the cops. Don't be. The police have seen and heard it all (or most of it). Get them involved, and no matter how an individual office behaves, retain your dignity.

You have a *right* to be respected by the police, please don't forget that.

Best, CP

_____________________________

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 3

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 8:50:29 AM

Ladytisha

Posts: 112
Joined: 6/3/2013
Status: offline

The only time it would be consensual is if you wanted to be black mailed. You need to go to the police and every text message and every letter keep them, it will be proof. I don't care how submissive you are no one deserves to be blackmailed

(in reply to Hellrider1)

Post #: 4

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 9:00:29 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Why does he have all that info on you if you are not involved with him?

(in reply to Ladytisha)

Post #: 5

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 9:14:29 AM

VideoAdminRho

Posts: 2055
Joined: 3/24/2010
Status: offline

Please report any messages that threaten to blackmail you so that we can take appropriate steps here as well.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 6

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 9:15:08 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Next time be much, much more careful with your personal information.

At this point he should not know who your employer is or where you live.
He should not know anything identifiable about your friends or family.

It takes a long time to get to know someone and until you actually meet them face-to-face, they are a stranger.

If anyone tells you, you are not submissive enough, just walk away.
You do not need to prove yourself to a stranger; someone you don't know.
(This includes not cam-ing for them and not showing your girly parts to prove you are not a man.)

Sub-frenzy:
http://www.submissiveloving.com/subfrenzy.html

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Hellrider1)

Post #: 7

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 9:22:58 AM

Hellrider1

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/11/2013
Status: offline

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.... I was totally new on here with no experience. He has been a Dom for over 30 years. Yes, he said that I was too private and that I had to learn to talk about things and to hand details over, as a Dom would expect to know everything about his sub...etc.... He knew what to ask and I was totally green... lesson learned. Once I have sorted this matter I will leave this lifestyle.

Admin, where and how do I report this? I looked for areas and sent one complaint, but it did not fall under the categories mentioned and was a no reply section.

thank you to everyone who has posted.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 8

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 9:28:16 AM

Hellrider1

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/11/2013
Status: offline

Admin, I am going on the message on my messages, clicking on threats box, but nothing happens when I press submit??

(in reply to Hellrider1)

Post #: 9

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 9:36:46 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hellrider1
He has been a Dom for over 30 years.

Always take the "I've been a Dom for 30 years" thing with a grain of salt. It could be an outright lie, it could be 30 years of failed relationships, it could be 30 years of trying to force reality to meet up with what porn or Castlerealm says, or he could be the type of person that learns nothing from experience.

quote:

Yes, he said that I was too private and that I had to learn to talk about things and to hand details over, as a Dom would expect to know everything about his sub...etc....

This tells me that he lacks long term experience. Trust and knowledge take time. It takes the submissive feeling comfortable enough to hand those items over. Forcing or demanding those items means that he lacks contact with reality.

The best advice I can give you is use common sense and don't do things you're not comfortable doing until you're ready.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Hellrider1)

Post #: 10

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 9:47:06 AM

VideoAdminRho

Posts: 2055
Joined: 3/24/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hellrider1

Admin, I am going on the message on my messages, clicking on threats box, but nothing happens when I press submit??

Okay, please just copy, paste and email them to me. I'll make sure Alpha gets them.

(in reply to Hellrider1)

Post #: 11

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 10:02:13 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Go to the police. They can charge him with harassment. I'd also file a restraining order.

Look, I'm sorry for what happened to you, but he was simply an abuser claiming to be a Dom. There are a lot of good people in tge lifestyle.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to VideoAdminRho)

Post #: 12

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 10:17:27 AM

petitespot

Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline

You're 48 not 18.
Show a little common sense and caution and start thinking with your head and not your pussy.

_____________________________

(in reply to Hellrider1)

Post #: 13

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 10:18:46 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

People who threaten or follow through with calling employers, family, etc are serious scum bags. I hope you are able to take care of this problem.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 14

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 10:18:46 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Did he make these threats in writing and do you have copies? If so, you can easily take the actions mentioned in above replies.

Stop interacting with him.
Block him to end contact
Hide your profile so he can't get at you with an alt account.
Report him to the mods.
Report him to the authorities and find out what actions you can take, like a restraining order as Steven mentioned.
Find an ambulance chaser (attorney) and sue him for distress.

. . . or keep your appointment with him and when he opens the door, have Guido and Vinny jump out of the bushes and break each and every one of his fingers.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 9/4/2013 10:19:44 AM >

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Hellrider1)

Post #: 15

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 10:35:46 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

What I'm curious is, how did he get your home address?

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 16

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 12:59:23 PM

punisher440

Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

MC, if the abuser in question had the OP's real name and phone number,it's not hard to come up with an address in this digital age. I once had a stalker that showed up in my driveway when I came home from work one day and that was the only info she needed to find me.

[But the OP probably met the blackmailer in person at his residence before...

]

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 17

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 1:01:43 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: punisher440

MC, if the abuser in question had the OP's real name and phone number,it's not hard to come up with an address in this digital age.

In some cases, just the phone number. If the number will come up in reverse look up, it would provide the name and city, state. From there it wouldn't be hard to gather more info.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to punisher440)

Post #: 18

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 1:11:06 PM

punisher440

Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

Oside,you are right in most cases...but if the person uses one of the pre-paid cell phones you won't get a name[or at least the correct one] associated with that number. But a landline or many of the other cell phones can be easily traced with a little effort.

< Message edited by punisher440 -- 9/4/2013 1:12:09 PM >

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 19

RE: Blackmail - 9/4/2013 1:15:27 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hellrider1
He has been a Dom for over 30 years.
Always take the "I've been a Dom for 30 years" thing with a grain of salt. It could be an outright lie, it could be 30 years of failed relationships, it could be 30 years of trying to force reality to meet up with what porn or Castlerealm says, or he could be the type of person that learns nothing from experience.

quote:

Yes, he said that I was too private and that I had to learn to talk about things and to hand details over, as a Dom would expect to know everything about his sub...etc....

This tells me that he lacks long term experience. Trust and knowledge take time. It takes the submissive feeling comfortable enough to hand those items over. Forcing or demanding those items means that he lacks contact with reality.

The best advice I can give you is use common sense and don't do things you're not comfortable doing until you're ready.

Or he was just a very manipulative SOB.

The advice is good regardless.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 20

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