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Kana -> RE: Different stances on drinking alcohol (9/18/2013 4:51:52 PM)
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quote:
Do you see what I implied before? It is quite hard to have the stance I have towards alcohol, which I explained here for the benefit of context, without having some form of this question involved. Am I hiding something? After all I've explained, I'm confident to say "not to my knowledge". The reason why I am concerned about this is because it is a likely issue to appear and, judging by the array of different, thoughtful ideas presented, it doesn't seem clear-cut for others either. If I were to have an autocratic bone in me, I would simply say "a submissive of mine doesn't drink because I say so", but I loathe that kind of autocracy.
As I mentioned before, I've found a possible working compromise. However, I'm glad that this question has spawned all the answers that it has, and even a spin-off thread about another topic. I'd say it makes good reference material.
Let's start by saying I don't drink. Did it when I was a kid. Damn near died. Don't do it any more.
So I can somewhat get where you come from here and I, as usual, won't give advice.
What I will say is that I don't care if she drinks on occasion, as long as it's not to excess.
(Hell, there's been days I've been like, "Let's get you a drink. If I had your day, I'd be having one.")
That said, I also suspect that this will be far less of a deal than you think. In fact, in many ways not drinking could, and should, well be a huge positive.
Consider how many women have been in bad relationships with men who drink. Think about all the families (Pretty much every one in America) that have a loved one suffering from addiction in one of it's many forms.
Those people aren't going to be upset you don't drink.They are gonna welcome that with open arms.And in a guy who's dating someone's daughter/sister/kin, sobriety is a good thing. That is unless it's because you turn into Freddy Krueger after imbibing. Not to mention (I have no clue where you stand on this issue nor am I trying to open up a can of worms here, just stating a fact) that there's a slew of religious people that see booze as a sin and are anti.That opens up that pool to you too.
But if it's a real big deal for you then just make it clear from the get that this is a dealbreaker.
Don't go surf AA chicks ( I have a sober friend who calls that "shopping in the dented can aisle"). Find a normal healthy chick who shares your morals and values and then work from there.
Do that and 1/2 the rules and situations you are torquing yourself over will dissipate, because they'll be non-discussions and things will go so easily it will leave you amazed.
Play your cards straight,lead with who and what you are,worry about building a relationship, and you'll be OK
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