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Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 2:40:09 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		I would like to run this by the group to get a concensus. I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive, but the submissive does not have to be a masochist. I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame. I think the submissive can get in at any point of their life and at any level. It an opinion. I would like to hear what others think.
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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 2:42:31 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		A dominant can be a masochist as well.


"I want you to beat me with THIS flogger on my back and buttocks, THIS hard and for THIS many strokes".

Masochism is about the sensations, not necessarily about submission.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to casidi75)
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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 2:46:21 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		What makes you think a masochist is "most certain a submissive?" Do you not know anybody who enjoys pain/sensation/bondage just for the sake of doing it? Do you know know any Dominants who bottom for their own enjoyment? Don't you know anybody who engages in BDSM without it being sexual?

I don't see many bottoms who are "laced with guilt and shame." Since the original asks about "group" consensus, I'm glad I'm in a different group.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to casidi75)
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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 2:53:13 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a submissive AND a masochist. And i'm not a product of early childhood sexual abuse. And there is no guilt or shame attached to my masochism - just joy and fufilment. When my sweetie and I are playing we are having a lot of fun, and doing what is natural for each of us. Trust me, no guilt , no shame involved.

So , for me, your opinion is wrong.


and for the record, I don't know any masochists who were abused sexually as a kid. Just saying.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 2:54:43 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		While I can see the roots of where your opinion may have come from, I do not agree. I know people that are Dominant and masochistic, and I don't think I"ve met anyone who is masochistic out of guilt and shame. I think you need to expand your circle of acquaintances perhaps, if indeed you know anyone in person that these observations apply to, or if you're just going off of what you've read.

(in reply to casidi75)
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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 2:55:49 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: casidi75

I would like to run this by the group to get a concensus.

Is that like a consensus?
quote:

I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive, but the submissive does not have to be a masochist.

Not even kinda sorta. As in where do you think the term Smart Ass Maso came from. There's lots of peep who ain't a whit submissive yet are hardcore masos.
quote:

I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame.

Wrong. Blatantly stereotyped and insulting to boot
quote:

I think the submissive can get in at any point of their life and at any level.

Maybe,but in general I suspect one would have a much better chance of convincing a maso to serve than a wallflowers to let me nail her nipples to the wall and do some chastity sewing.That's a whole lot of convincing there...
quote:

It an opinion.

That it is.
quote:

I would like to hear what others think.

No. No you don't.

< Message edited by Kana -- 9/26/2013 2:56:13 PM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to casidi75)
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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 2:58:12 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		Great Insight

(in reply to searching4mysir)
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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:00:01 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		I was owned for 25 years and only had one dominatrix. Inexperience I guess

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:00:38 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: casidi75
I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive, but the submissive does not have to be a masochist.
Nope, I have a friend who is a masochist and has absolutely no interest in being submissive. She likes the sensations and the endorphins. Period.

quote:

I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame.
Wrong again. I was not ever abused. Everyone processes pain differently. Example: I find a deep tissue massage to be one of the most excruciating things on the face of planet. Other people find them deeply enjoyable.

quote:

I would like to hear what others think.
I think you're grasping at straws, trying justify something.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to casidi75)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:07:10 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		Im getting an education Thank you for your explanation

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:08:42 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		My opinion:

Someone can be one without the other, neither, or both.

I like a little bit of pain because it makes me all tingly inside and/or momentarily relieves stress. A rush similar to driving fast or riding a roller coaster. I have never been abused and don't need to be to desire that rush.
And it also has nothing to do with being submissive, for me.

(in reply to casidi75)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:17:55 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: casidi75
I was owned for 25 years and only had one dominatrix. Inexperience I guess

Twenty-five minutes with a good non-fiction BDSM book might teach you more than she obviously did.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to casidi75)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:20:42 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline 		When I was in a masochistic mode, I was far from submissive....it was all about me and the sensations I felt. Most of the time, it was a selfish sort of state because I could have cared less if he was getting off or if I was pleasing him. Occasionally now I get to that point, if he is spanking me especially hard in a non traditional fashion like on the thighs which I dislike when I am not in a masochist mode, and then I am in my own little world, just focusing on the sensation of it all. In addition to the sensation, I like the head space it gives because there is like nothing going on in my mind other than the pain, it's like everything else leaves my mind but that.

< Message edited by lilcracker -- 9/26/2013 3:22:24 PM >

(in reply to casidi75)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:22:30 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		Your on target I only have me as a reference and I am hoping here I will expand my aquaintances and awareness. Clearly I have been under a rock and clueless about it all Oh well It is great people are willing to speak up I welcome the imput. It been my life it about time I learn something about BDSM

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:24:37 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		Im starting to get it. I love the rush of adrenalin and then the soak of endorfins. Thanks

(in reply to lilcracker)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:29:23 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

I don't know any masochists who were abused sexually as a kid
I was and I do think my submissive personality was groomed by this however, I have never thought my masochistic side was...simply because for me...the mind fuck that came with the sexual abuse was worse than the abuse itself. (my mom blamed me for it.) Yet, I could have still had a submissive personality if I had never been sexually abused. It's one of those things that can not really be proved or disproved since there are many who are masochists or submissive who have never been abused and many people who have been abused and never had interest in being either.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:30:42 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		This seems to be the concensus I not sorry I asked everyone has been so forthcoming Thanks for your time

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:33:10 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		Wow I didnt intend to insult anyone and that nipple action is beyond my scope thanks for the feedback

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:34:26 PM   
casidi75


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		Any sugestions for a book

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/26/2013 3:37:15 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		There is a sticky at the top of this forum for books.

The Bottoming Book: How to Get Terrible Things Done to You by Wonderful People
by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
Catherine & Dossie give us another great book. It is short and concise and very helpful. The sections on the psychological effects are particularly well explained. The authors repeatedly validate the experience of the person-as-bottom, whether that person identifies solely as a bottom or as a top who desires to experience bottoming, or as the in-betweener who likes it all.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to casidi75)
Profile   Post #: 20
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