Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Age Gap?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Age Gap? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Age Gap? - 10/16/2013 9:25:44 PM   
genuineandkinky


Posts: 14
Joined: 4/8/2013
Status: offline 		You're right, and I do know this is part of my age. If I thought my dad wouldn't have a problem with it, it'd be much easier for me. It's just in the back of my head. I know you are all right, though.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Age Gap? - 10/16/2013 9:27:34 PM   
trent667


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/20/2013
Status: offline 		Run with it and enjoy life - you can't live up to others expectations and be happy with yourself in the long run. It almost always backfires on you at some point in time. Just make sure you've known him long enough to understand the situation.

(in reply to SerWhiteTiger)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Age Gap? - 10/16/2013 9:34:14 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Genuine connections are hard enough to find, even without putting meaningless parameters around them. Enjoy it while you can.

(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Age Gap? - 10/16/2013 9:36:33 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Genuine connections are hard enough to find, even without putting meaningless parameters around them. Enjoy it while you can.

Isn't that the truth.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Age Gap? - 10/16/2013 9:37:41 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky
I'd just hate to be 'that couple' that everyone looks at thinking " wow, what a big age difference."

Really? Maybe he should dump your ass. You don't exactly sound good enough for him when you talk like that.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Age Gap? - 10/16/2013 9:39:23 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky

You're right, and I do know this is part of my age. If I thought my dad wouldn't have a problem with it, it'd be much easier for me. It's just in the back of my head. I know you are all right, though.



That will go away with time. You'll get ballsier as your life progresses. Not saying you shouldn't take into consideration what your parents have said. Because you should, but that's all it should be..consideration. Allowing your dad to make choices for you, could turn out just fine, but you'll never know how life could have been if you don't choose for yourself.

Be adult and explain(if he has issue with things) to him you have to make your own choices.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Age Gap? - 10/16/2013 11:04:13 PM   
Hmaster88


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2013
Status: offline 		I am amazed at the importance most girls place on age.


No, it is not just a number, but it has little to do with the things that are important in Life. How many 21 year old Dom's have 30 years experience at anything? How many have an I.Q. of 180 and are finishing their 2nd doctorate? How many have the security you want and need?


How many have their own shelter, money in the Bank, and a car you can drive?


How many travel the World playing golf with Presidents, and having beer with others? Not all "old farts" do this, but some do. And, that's the guy you should be looking for, just ask Pam Anderson.


Some "old gentlemen" are like me, the son of Dorian Gray. Part good genetics, and the rest working out daily, not smoking or drinking, but eating good health food (except in India). Most friend say I haven't aged in 20 years. I still can wear the same suede sports coat that I wore 30 years ago.


But, it hasn't all been "wine and roses". There have been many ups, and one too many downs. However, older gentlemen are not the gamble that young trophy Dom's are.


Why repeat history? Why not learn from the 'older gentlemen's" mistakes, successes, and Life experiences. Along with the security of knowing where you live, where you bank, and what car you drive.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 1:03:41 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky

Okay, well I'm starting to feel a bit better....thank you. I think some of my friends need to grow up, too. Step out of their black box.



Send one of your female friends my way. I'm 57 years old. I guarantee all the talk of the age gap in YOUR relationship will fall off their radar.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 1:45:51 AM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky

You're right, and I do know this is part of my age. If I thought my dad wouldn't have a problem with it, it'd be much easier for me. It's just in the back of my head. I know you are all right, though.


Your dad is your dad and he's always going to want something different for you. No guy is ever good enough for his little girl, that sort of thing, ya know?

When I was younger and dating an older man (I was 21, he was 34), my dad was livid, but mostly because he was worried that I was being taken advantage of somehow. Once he realizes that you are fine, he'll ease up and support you.

(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 2:52:11 AM   
SubvsSlave


Posts: 201
Joined: 4/6/2011
Status: offline 		I'm 39 and my Master is 52. If I had let the age difference get in the way of our relationship while it was budding, I would have missed out on the most wonderful man. Focus on his inner characteristics.

(in reply to AllisonWilder)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 2:59:49 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky
I'd just hate to be 'that couple' that everyone looks at thinking " wow, what a big age difference."

Really? Maybe he should dump your ass. You don't exactly sound good enough for him when you talk like that.



You sound too immature for this relationship. It's not just your friends who need to expand their thinking, you need it too.

And yes, I've got that intellectually you realize a 12 year age gap is no big deal, but you need to believe that inside, where it counts. That's called internalizing -- taking what you think and making it what you believe. Great practice for the rest of your life. Start now.





_____________________________



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 5:23:51 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		I married a man 13 years older then me, and wait, also shorter then me! I also thought "what will people think?" then I asked myself "WHo is living this life anyway, to heck to what others think!" We also had an extraordinary amount of like interests and he was a great caregiver which was very important to me. Together 26 yrs so far. That is what you should look at, not what others think, because trust me they will have something to say about anything. Do not let others or society determine your potential happiness, you need to do that.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 6:10:22 AM   
Zonie63


Posts: 2826
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky

Is a 12 year age difference socially acceptable?.. I feel it's not socially acceptable, even though in my mind it is.

I know, people say I shouldn't care. However, what are your thoughts?


Not that I care much about what is "socially acceptable," I've heard that the common formula used is half your age plus seven.

So, if he's 34 - 34/2 = 17 17+7=24

Seems close enough to be in the realm of "socially acceptable."

(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 6:16:29 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky

I've heard anything over 10 is not 'acceptable'.

I didn't think 12 years was considered 'normal'.


If your friends shun you because two years REALLY has their panties in that much of a bunch, then they weren't very good friends to begin with.

I've always dated older men, anywhere from 5 to 20 years older. No one has really ever batted an eye.

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 6:23:59 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63


quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky

Is a 12 year age difference socially acceptable?.. I feel it's not socially acceptable, even though in my mind it is.

I know, people say I shouldn't care. However, what are your thoughts?


Not that I care much about what is "socially acceptable," I've heard that the common formula used is half your age plus seven.

So, if he's 34 - 34/2 = 17 17+7=24

Seems close enough to be in the realm of "socially acceptable."


So at 52 I should be dating a 33 year old if I apply this formula (almost 20 years younger and the age of my oldest son), or a 90 year old if they apply it (38 years older). Not thinking we'd have much in common either way.

OP, do what you like. I've always been one to stick within 5 years of my own age either way because I find more common ground with the person, but that's just me. I certainly don't look down on people for following whatever is best for them.

(in reply to Zonie63)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 6:30:56 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting! The formula I'd heard of was half your age plus 8.. but the result is broadly the same.

On one hand, I'd say "What the fuck has age got to do with anything....". If a woman is smart, worldly wise, thoughtful and kinky then it doesn't matter to me.

But I have found that the likelihood of someone less than half my age plus 8 being the kind of person I'd enjoy hanging with is very low indeed, to the extent that I wouldn't generally consider someone in her 20's at all really.

I'm not suggesting for a second that there's not a 20 something lady who could really engage me, but it does feel like a slim chance.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Zonie63)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 6:33:21 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		aww dammit

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 7:11:17 AM   
evesgrden


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky

Is a 12 year age difference socially acceptable?.. I feel it's not socially acceptable, even though in my mind it is.

I know, people say I shouldn't care. However, what are your thoughts?



If anonymous people on a perverted kinky forum give you permission to do something that clearly makes you uncomfortable, then it must be ok.

Kiddo, you're getting a graduate degree. Earn that sheepskin and do a little critical analysis, have the courage of your convictions and get on with life.

The fact that you have to ask makes me wonder if you're too young for anyone. Use your head, use your heart, what's the risk if you don't get involved with him, what's the risk if you do get involved with him, which risk are you willing to risk.

Errors of omission and comission. Which one is ok by you?

_____________________________

What you permit, you promote.

(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 7:36:35 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Your friends need to grow up. My first "scene" relationship had a 24 year age gap. She was 43, I was 19. Yes, I was a boytoy for a cougar before that term was invented. It didn't last, but it ended well and I grew up some from it. What you're describing isn't odd in the least. Go for it.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Age Gap? - 10/17/2013 8:39:47 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genuineandkinky

You're right, and I do know this is part of my age. If I thought my dad wouldn't have a problem with it, it'd be much easier for me. It's just in the back of my head. I know you are all right, though.



So you are okay with being in a kinky relationship (you don't seem to be too worried about what your dad will think...?) but 2 years outside your idea of "the norm" puts you in a tizzy?

Here's the thing: if 12 years is too much of an age gap for you, then it doesn't matter what your dad thinks or what your friends' opinions are.
It is either not an issue for you, or it is.

But don't blame your uncertainties on other people.
It is okay to feel uncertain. But better still to own it.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to genuineandkinky)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Age Gap? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125