50 Shades of NOPE (Full Version)

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SylvereApLeanan -> 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 9:15:59 AM)

I saw this on someone's journal, written from a submissive's perspective, but thought it might make a fun thread. I've started it off - feel free to add your own items. Disclaimer: This is supposed to be light-hearted humor based on frequently recurring topics and is not directed at specific individuals.

50 Shades of NOPE

1. Hello Mistress/Princess/Goddess/Ma'am, I am an obedient slave who has no limits...except housework, chores, and holding a job. -- NOPE.

2. I am looking for a Mistress to fulfill all my kinky porn fantasies. -- NOPE.

3. There are 5 copy/paste messages in your mailbox from the same person. -- NOPE.

4. Hello, Mistress, would you like to abuse this slave on cam? -- NOPE.

5. You said no thanks/didn't respond fast enough? You must be fake, you stupid #$%! -- NOPE.

6. Oh, Goddess...please do everything on your list of hard limits to me! -- NOPE.

7. I need ideas to punish/humiliate/dominate my online subs. -- NOPE.

8. I'm a pro dominatrix/PSO/own a clips store and my post has little relevance to the topic and/or has been recycled multiple times, but hey look at the link to my website on my profile! -- NOPE.

9. Are there any mistresses into posting wank fodder for my spank bank? -- NOPE.

10. My master/mistress/dominant partner has instructed me to post the sordid details of my transgressions and seek ideas for punishments from strangers on a message board. -- NOPE.



MasterCaneman -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 10:53:02 AM)

FR-ing it

That should be a sticky, but the primary offenders would still ignore it.



LadyPact -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 11:02:59 AM)

You do realize there is a HUGE potential to reach more than fifty, right?

11. Mistress, can I send you a pic of my penis for you to enjoy? NOPE

12. Will you coddle a poor sub and tell them that the real life community is awful? NOPE

13. Can I post questions on the forums where only people who will tell the OP what they want to hear will respond? NOPE

14. If I create multiple profiles, can I expect more attention from Dominant women? NOPE



Rochsub2009 -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 11:03:57 AM)

-I've always fantasized about being a beautiful southern belle like Scarlett O'Hara and being taken by my ni**er slave. Would you be interested in doing this type of race play with me? -- NOPE (For those of you who don't know, I'm African-American)

-I'm a 19 year old financial Domme with 15 years of experience. Now send me money!!! -- NOPE

-I'm a super hot, sexy, 22 year old Domme whose pictures look suspiciously like they came straight out of the Victoria's Secret catalog. Now send me money!!!! -- NOPE

-I'm completely straight, but I'm looking for a Domme to force me to become a slutty cock sucking whore. -- NOPE

-I'm a findom, but I have absolutely no experience. Can somebody please give me ideas to use on my subs? -- NOPE

-As my avatar picture and username (laffatmytinycock) show, I have a tiny cock. Can all of you please say humiliating things about my tiny cock? -- NOPE

-Hi. I see that you're Black. I've always wanted to own a BBC. Your BBC now belongs to me! -- NOPE

-I am Dominatrix from Nigeria. I want you be my slave. Send money for airplane ticket via Western Union so I come visit you. -- NOPE

-I'm from the planet Gor. I want all of you bitches to kneel before me and prepare to suck my manly cock! -- NOPE

-I'm looking for a toilet slave to drink my golden nectar, and eat my chunky Goddess chocolate. - Ummmmm, Ewwww! NOPE [:'(]



servuspet -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 11:09:44 AM)

I have a new favorite thread.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 11:14:45 AM)

quote:

You do realize there is a HUGE potential to reach more than fifty, right?


I can live with that. [:D]

quote:

That should be a sticky, but the primary offenders would still ignore it.


Why you gotta kill my dreams, man?



SeekingTrinity -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 11:23:35 AM)

- I'm the ideal definition of what a submissive really is. As my dominant, you are to do X, Y, and Z to me every day. Since you are the dominant, you can choose whether you will do A, B, and C to me or 1, 2, and 3. Scratch that, do A, B, C AND 1, 2, and 3 to me too. NOPE

-Wait, you mean to tell me that real BDSM and D/s isn't like the porn I've overdosed myself on? NOPE

- I live thousands of miles from you, but would you kick and beat me even though you are nowhere near me? NOPE



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 12:25:53 PM)

The ultimate submission is bending over for you and taking your strap-on. NOPE.

Please, Mistress, will you dominate me online?(Amounts to watching him edge and wank off on cam) NOPE.

Goddess, I will submit to you fully by letting you do X, Y and Z to me. NOPE.

NBMG



VideoAdminChi -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 12:57:56 PM)

Am I OCD enough to edit these posts to add numbers...?



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 1:01:35 PM)

* We're a MF D/s couple looking for a hot, bi babe to be our live-in housemaid/nanny/sex toy. We've been on CM for TWO WHOLE WEEKS and still haven't found our unicorn. Are there any real people on this site? -- NOPE

* I'm a married sub/dom with a vanilla spouse who doesn't know about my kinky desires. Are you interested in being my dirty little secret? -- NOPE

* I'm married/emotionally unavailable/otherwise unable to offer a relationship, and the only women responding to my messages are asking for money. Isn't there anyone here who isn't a hooker/fake? -- NOPE

* Y u no lyk ppl riting lyk dis? R U fake 2? -- NOPE



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 1:03:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

Am I OCD enough to edit these posts to add numbers...?


NOPE



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 1:24:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
* Y u no lyk ppl riting lyk dis? R U fake 2? -- NOPE[/color][/size][/font]

[sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]

NBMG



PeonForHer -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 3:32:49 PM)

quote:

-I'm looking for a toilet slave to drink my golden nectar, and eat my chunky Goddess chocolate. - Ummmmm, Ewwww! NOPE


Oh hell. You didn't *really* get one like that, did you? 'Chunky Goddess chocolate'. Ouch.



OsideGirl -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 3:33:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

-I'm looking for a toilet slave to drink my golden nectar, and eat my chunky Goddess chocolate. - Ummmmm, Ewwww! NOPE


Oh hell. You didn't *really* get one like that, did you? 'Chunky Goddess chocolate'. Ouch.


One of my friends calls it "warm lemonade and fresh brownies"....



LadyPact -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 4:08:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
-I'm looking for a toilet slave to drink my golden nectar, and eat my chunky Goddess chocolate. - Ummmmm, Ewwww! NOPE [:'(]

You have officially ruined Chunky bars for Me for the rest of My life.



sheisreeds -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 4:27:34 PM)

* Master wants to milk you, COW! NOPE

* Hey, I am a real person and care about my privacy so I don't post pictures on my profile so I sent you some! Blurry mirror pic, DICK, DICK, DICK NOPE

These are actual messages from this week:

- Have you ever been shared? NOPE

- I excel at EXTREME corporal punishment, if you're ever open to a visiting Sadist joining your fun from time to time. I can EASILY travel to ______ for extreme play. It's the best! Of if you know of another masochist woman who would enjoy this type scene, I'd appreciate the referral. Best wishes! And HAPPY PAIN!

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPEE!



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 4:32:44 PM)

I'm 18 years old, still live with my parents, attend college, work part-time at Walmart, have never been to a munch or other event, and all of my kink experience comes from watching YouTube, reading 50 Shades, and/or Gorean IRC role-play. Call me Master. -- NOPE.

As a slave, I will be kept naked and caged 24/7 except when taken out to sexually service my master/mistress. -- NOPE.

As a slave, this one will always speak in third person, use non-standard capitalization, and R/randomly A/add S/slashes T/to W/words, E/especially P/pronouns. -- NOPE.

I am a disciple of the One Twue Way and will now bestow the benefit of my wisdom upon you lowly peasants. -- NOPE.



MasterCaneman -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (10/31/2013 9:19:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

-I'm looking for a toilet slave to drink my golden nectar, and eat my chunky Goddess chocolate. - Ummmmm, Ewwww! NOPE


Oh hell. You didn't *really* get one like that, did you? 'Chunky Goddess chocolate'. Ouch.


Hey, "Chunky Goddess Chocolate" would make a great band or album name.



SpyUnderCover -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (11/1/2013 11:18:16 AM)

My favorite shade of "Nope" is something like ...

"Hello Mistress! Yes, I know I suddenly stopped replying to your messages weeks or months ago, but that's only because I had [insert major crisis here] happen, and now I'm back. I sincerely apologize; I'm hoping you won't see this behavior as peculiar or question my integrity and that you will give me another chance ... "

NOPE!!!

Spy



MissKittyDeVine -> RE: 50 Shades of NOPE (11/1/2013 12:54:48 PM)

Hello/ how are you - NOPE

Are you looking for a slave husband? - NOPE

Will you take control of my computer on teamviewer and threaten to expose me to everyone I know - NOPE

Will you destroy my face by punching it repeatedly (yes I really did get this one) - big fat NOPE

Fantasists *sigh*



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