quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

...how did people find others?  I'm not sure if this has ever been asked outright as a topic but I'm curious.  When I was much younger, "whips and chains" was a synonym for perversion and so I kept my interests to myself.  In past vanilla relationships, I would try to introduce some ideas that hinted at it but as I got closer to the core principles, my partners would always express disgust.  The only thing they did like was playful bondage.
 
But I knew there were people out there engaging in BDSM activities.  Even so, I always accepted that whoever they were, they must be privy to some secret society and go to places akin to a speakeasy to mingle.  Places I had no idea how to find out about and nobody I knew anywhere gave any impression they had a similar interest.
 
So how was it done?  Did it rely on a person being lucky enough to say something to a friend or coworker who happened to be a practioner who would in turn take the remark as a sign it was okay to tell the person where they might be able to find others?  Was there meeting places like munches and groups like the Black Rose?
 
I'm sure many people started practicing BDSM spontaneously within relationships that started out as vanilla.  I count them as the lucky ones and that's likely still happening today.  But for those of us on the outside, the Internet has essentially turned out to be a decoy of sorts.  One would think sites like this would be full of those who are seeking others but as we all know, that's probably only about 25% of the membership.  The rest are playing, testing the waters, trying to learn about something they are too afraid to go out and try in person, wanking, etc.
 
I would also like to point out that over the years, I have learned that this lifestyle is not solely about "whips and chains."  That's a part of it but only a small part to be sure.  So consider this post to be about people who are interested in the full spectrum of how this lifestyle can be practiced and not just the stereotypical "Dominatrix" imagery that so many uninitiated suffer from.
 
anthrosub
Magazines...
Fetish Times
Fetish Mates
Submit
Screw
Reflections
Maitresse
Femme Fatale
Texas Free Pres...
and many others.