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FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 5:57:19 PM   
payingoinker


Posts: 75
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline 		Someone once said that financial domination is the only real form of online D/s because it is the only one where there is a tangible exchange of power and control. I tend to see Her point but I am interested in others opinions.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 6:08:34 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker
Someone once said that financial domination is the only real form of online D/s because it is the only one where there is a tangible exchange of power and control. I tend to see Her point but I am interested in others opinions.

Online D/s has a 20-year history at this point. Online findom is much younger. Unless your friend was taking the position that all old-school online D/s was unreal, then she was overstating her case.

Also, thanks for the post, because I got a chance to type "old-school online D/s" for the first time in my life, and I am still grinning as a result.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to payingoinker)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 6:12:34 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Preface: I'm not a findomme.

I think what's important is what YOU consider 'real', 'true', 'genuine', etc...be along the same lines as the person on the other end of the equation. You do realize, of course, that with a screen name like 'payingoinker' you're going to be a target for findoms? If that's your bag and it makes you feel good, more power to you. Just make sure you and the FD agree on the same terms so everyone gets their money's worth from your 'tribute'.

OP, have you been following the findom threads currently going? There are plenty of opinions there (90 pages or something like that.) Please feel free to join in. There seems to be a dearth of finsubs piping up on the FD threads, and lots of us would like to hear such a person's opinions/observations.



< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 11/11/2013 6:13:13 PM >

(in reply to payingoinker)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 6:18:33 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Pffft. When I first started, I Dominated several women online and in some cases over the phone. No money exchanged.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 6:20:02 PM   
Lisfor


Posts: 42
Joined: 11/9/2013
Status: offline 		I think the statement is overly broad.
If the findomme relies on the money to pay her rent and put food on the table, isn't the payer the one who has the power?
If the payer only gives what he wants to give, how is there any power exchange or control involved? It's just an exchange of goods and services.
On the other hand, there are findommes that do control the payer's finances completely, without the payer being able to decide anything about it.
I don't see what any of it has to do with "online" specifically though.

(in reply to payingoinker)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 6:37:22 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Pffft. When I first started, I Dominated several women online and in some cases over the phone. No money exchanged.


Same here and I didn't get paid either. Guess what I did wasn't real, OP?

I agree with MDA. Real, true, and genuine are very subjective terms. If it's real/genuine/true to you and your partner, that's all that matters.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 7:44:13 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Back before we met, when we were still just chatting online, I announced late one evening that I was going to run the trash down. He believed me doing that at midnight was unsafe and ordered me to sign back on when I returned, so he would know I hadn't been savaged by raccoons after the chicken carcass in the garbage. Or shot by drive by hunters or something.

And although I knew living up here in the woods as I do, that it's perfectly safe, I still did. I signed back on and alleviated his worries and concerns. So where is that not real? He told me to do something and I did it. And that's all that's required to make it real. He made a decision and I dutifully followed it out.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 8:48:10 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker
Someone once said that financial domination is the only real form of online D/s because it is the only one where there is a tangible exchange of power and control. I tend to see Her point but I am interested in others opinions.

So.... for instance... let's say that in an online only relationship I used whatever control I could muster to literally change someone's life top to bottom. In your opinion, would that be a "tangible exchange of power and control"??

I have no idea why people seem to struggle so with telephones but I certainly do not. Respect and trust can both be earned remotely. Serious life topics can be discussed remotely. Actual decisions about real and important things can be reached remotely.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to payingoinker)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 8:55:26 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		Wait when did findom become real D/s?

(in reply to payingoinker)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/11/2013 11:12:18 PM   
HoneyBears


Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

Wait when did findom become real D/s?

*Pss-t, it isn't, but I did not tell you that.*

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to GotSteel)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 12:21:46 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

Someone once said that financial domination is the only real form of online D/s because it is the only one where there is a tangible exchange of power and control. I tend to see Her point but I am interested in others opinions.


Utter bullshit. I don't know who this someone was, but who ever they were, they were being fuckwitted.

Now, while there can be all sorts of debates about how "real" any online relationship is (I happen to think that they're real if both parties think they're in a relationship), if someone gives an order and someone submits to it, then it's as real as it needs to be.




_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to payingoinker)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 1:38:37 AM   
sheisreeds


Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline 		Amazon is the truest, most badass findom of them all then.

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in


You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 2:43:16 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

Wait when did findom become real D/s?

*Pss-t, it isn't, but I did not tell you that.*


....NM

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to HoneyBears)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 2:53:18 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		If that's what you need to say to yourself to provide self justification, go for it.

But no, I do not agree in the least.

Many people have what I would call 'real' online relationships, it's how most people meet these days, and so most, kinky or not, meet on the internet.

Then they progress to the phone, possibly cam, and finally they meet in person. For most this is a matter of a few days or weeks.

Do I think it's a good idea to establish a strong power exchange relationship with someone you've never met? No I don't. But people do it all the time and as DS pointed out, many into BDSM begin this way.

How 'real' or 'true' the relationship is in terms of power exchange is going to be determined by the individuals, not by some random definitions floating around the interwebs.

I do think that online relationships where neither party ever plans to meet tend to be fantasy filled and have zero chance of long term success, but that's just me.






< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 11/12/2013 2:55:42 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to payingoinker)
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RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 2:54:51 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Pffft. When I first started, I Dominated several women online and in some cases over the phone. No money exchanged.



Clearly, you're not real.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 2:57:53 AM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		A week and a half ago I told a boy to stitch my name into his heart. He stitched my name into his skin...over his heart, on cam, to make a tattoo. No money was exchanged. My opinion would be that whoever you heard that from is either very short sighted, very unimaginative, or is just fibbing to you.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to payingoinker)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 3:51:48 AM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		You could take some photos of yourself in very compromising positions. Send those along with a list of email adresses of all your family, friends and coworkers. That sgould provide a bit if leverage with no money changing hands. But that is a different kink.

_____________________________

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers, 1897-1935

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 5:53:13 AM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline 		It means she was an effective self-promoter, in a way I can only applaud.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to KYsissy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 7:00:08 AM   
dixiestar40


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		I met my master online... started with chatting then proceeded to the phone and now we r living together.. Best decision of my life. My master is very happy with the way things are moving forward and progression is great in all aspects...

(in reply to Apocalypso)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: FD only real form of online D/s - 11/12/2013 8:00:09 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

Wait when did findom become real D/s?

*Pss-t, it isn't, but I did not tell you that.*


For the record, no current or past involvement with financial domination myself...

You are certainly entitled to your opinion. However your opinion only makes it real or not real for you alone. It does not determine what is real across the board for others.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 11/12/2013 8:58:53 AM >

(in reply to HoneyBears)
Profile   Post #: 20
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