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MariaB Post 29: I'd be looking at inventing a device. Something that would give her a discreet electric shock every time she spoke scornfully about this couple. It would be a device she wouldn't be able to relate back to you;) If you come up with anything, patent it quickly. You will make a bloody fortune

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ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Okay, mods, this may or may not be a salient post because it is similar to the one where the server got stiffed for being gay, but I feel this is a legit question. First, a little backstory: I'm in an eleven year relationship with a very vanilla woman with an Alpha personality. She's a registered nurse, and has recently (past three years) bought a house. Now, about six months ago, another woman bought a home across the street from her, and my woman has started making some disconcerting comments regarding this person.

Simply put, the woman is a lesbian. She has a girlfriend whose moved in with her and what appears to be the homeowner's minor age daughter. There's also a male involved who appears to be the child's father. He is also a regular visitor there. My woman has recently started making some overtly homophobic comments about what she sees going on over there, something I didn't know about her until now, and it's beginning to concern me.

I'll be blunt in saying I'm solidly heterosexual myself, as well as a member of the R.C. Church, just to give you a quick background snap of my background. That being said, I'm a "live and let live" kind of guy, because I don't consider it my business to give a shit about what someone else does with their heart, soul, and plumbing nor who they choose to do it with. My GF, however, is starting to get very unsettled by this all, and I'm at a loss as to how to approach this in a way that she won't lash out at me. Saturday night, when I was over, I got tired of hearing her vent about them and told her so, and almost immediately was queried if I had ever done that kind of thing.

I've worked in a lot of fetish and alternative oriented bars and clubs, have worked for two openly gay gentlemen and an open lesbian. All were good people to work for who left their orientation at the door, but she all but accused me of going 'that way' for merely trying to get to her to let if go. None of these folks have so much as spoken to her since moving in, yet every day her vitriol grows at their mere presence.

It's getting to the point I feel I need to do something about it. Is it or should I just let her keep going until it blows up in her face? While part of me wants her to find out for herself what can happen if you allow your prejudices to dictate your actions, another part of me doesn't want her to get her fingers burned either. And both parts of me know that whatever happens, I'll be the one who ends up having to clean up the mess in some manner after the fact. I know no one can give me the "right" answer here, but any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Sure, why not? It's just an 11 year relationship; why not toss it and just start another

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ORIGINAL: petskye

I'm not saying he should throw away the relationship I just want to point out I don't think duration of the relationship should really factor in with this. His feelings towards her and his willingness to accept her as she is defiantly. However if we consider duration as a factor you are basically saying that all things are forgivable so long as you've been together long enough.

Those who I've seen who've taken that motto to their relationship have gotten more and more unhappy as the years go by in their relationship but say "well I can't throw away a relationship of X years away on something like that" feelings do not increase based upon time together they increased at their own speed independent of time and he should be measuring his feelings with this not the time.

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ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

I don't know why I stay with her

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And MC... I have a hunch that you could do better. Just sayin.

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ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Okay, mods, this may or may not be a salient post because it is similar to the one where the server got stiffed for being gay, but I feel this is a legit question. First, a little backstory: I'm in an eleven year relationship with a very vanilla woman with an Alpha personality. She's a registered nurse, and has recently (past three years) bought a house. Now, about six months ago, another woman bought a home across the street from her, and my woman has started making some disconcerting comments regarding this person.

Simply put, the woman is a lesbian. She has a girlfriend whose moved in with her and what appears to be the homeowner's minor age daughter. There's also a male involved who appears to be the child's father. He is also a regular visitor there. My woman has recently started making some overtly homophobic comments about what she sees going on over there, something I didn't know about her until now, and it's beginning to concern me.

I'll be blunt in saying I'm solidly heterosexual myself, as well as a member of the R.C. Church, just to give you a quick background snap of my background. That being said, I'm a "live and let live" kind of guy, because I don't consider it my business to give a shit about what someone else does with their heart, soul, and plumbing nor who they choose to do it with. My GF, however, is starting to get very unsettled by this all, and I'm at a loss as to how to approach this in a way that she won't lash out at me. Saturday night, when I was over, I got tired of hearing her vent about them and told her so, and almost immediately was queried if I had ever done that kind of thing.

I've worked in a lot of fetish and alternative oriented bars and clubs, have worked for two openly gay gentlemen and an open lesbian. All were good people to work for who left their orientation at the door, but she all but accused me of going 'that way' for merely trying to get to her to let if go. None of these folks have so much as spoken to her since moving in, yet every day her vitriol grows at their mere presence.

It's getting to the point I feel I need to do something about it. Is it or should I just let her keep going until it blows up in her face? While part of me wants her to find out for herself what can happen if you allow your prejudices to dictate your actions, another part of me doesn't want her to get her fingers burned either. And both parts of me know that whatever happens, I'll be the one who ends up having to clean up the mess in some manner after the fact. I know no one can give me the "right" answer here, but any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.