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RE: I'm Learning Something About My Partner I Don't Lik... - 11/21/2013 7:25:22 PM

littlewonder

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your girl sounds like a whole, big bottle of anger after reading this is not her first problems with her anger...her old neighbors, former job. I don't know how you have stayed sane for 11 years! I would have been insane after just 1 or 2 years.

Sorry but your life makes me shiver, and not in a good way, just thinking of returning to that kind of life with someone.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 11/21/2013 7:26:23 PM >

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RE: I'm Learning Something About My Partner I Don't Lik... - 11/21/2013 8:50:39 PM

Lisfor

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Her latent bigotry has nothing to do with her stress levels. It doesn't go away when she stops being stressed. Being stressed only affects how loudly she announces her biases and, evidently, her specific violence fantasies.

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RE: I'm Learning Something About My Partner I Don't Lik... - 11/21/2013 10:32:56 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Sure, why not? It's just an 11 year relationship; why not toss it and just start another

the problem with saying its an 11 year relationship/investment is it sucks you into not wanting to give it up when perhaps you should.. so what should have ended at year 11 stretches out to 20 years or whatever number of additionally invested years before it does finally end.. its like throwing good money after bad, except its throwing good time after bad.. I fell into that trap with my ex, I should have left him years earlier than I finally did.. so hanging on is sometimes the wrong decision.. especially if there are some major problems that continue on & on..

And while you struggle on with someone that isn't very compatible with you, because you are taken and "off market", you could have possibly missed the chance to meet that special someone you could have had a great relationship with..

jmo..

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RE: I'm Learning Something About My Partner I Don't Lik... - 11/21/2013 11:29:08 PM

MasterCaneman

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Who says I kept my sanity? She just left here a little while ago, and she's almost normal again. I wonder if this has to do with cycles or something like that. She starts work next week, I haven't heard anymore about the neighbors, and she's seems a little more upbeat after our talk the other night.

Oh, and for those who think she can Google stuff, here's a little factoid that should relieve you: she a complete techo-Luddite. She's not very computer literate. Over the last year, I've been teaching her the basics, but she still can't go online without closing the browser and not being able to reopen it.

Once she gets back out into the working world, a lot of this should fade away. No, she's not going to change an iota regarding her biases, but that's how it goes sometimes. Her problem is solipsism caused by spending so much time in her house doing her little tasks. I could write a book as to her peculiar habits and idiosyncrasies, but that's another story. Thanks all for the advice and suggestions. They did help. A lot.

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RE: I'm Learning Something About My Partner I Don't Lik... - 11/22/2013 5:08:08 AM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Who says I kept my sanity? She just left here a little while ago, and she's almost normal again. I wonder if this has to do with cycles or something like that. She starts work next week, I haven't heard anymore about the neighbors, and she's seems a little more upbeat after our talk the other night.

Oh, and for those who think she can Google stuff, here's a little factoid that should relieve you: she a complete techo-Luddite. She's not very computer literate. Over the last year, I've been teaching her the basics, but she still can't go online without closing the browser and not being able to reopen it.

Once she gets back out into the working world, a lot of this should fade away. No, she's not going to change an iota regarding her biases, but that's how it goes sometimes. Her problem is solipsism caused by spending so much time in her house doing her little tasks. I could write a book as to her peculiar habits and idiosyncrasies, but that's another story. Thanks all for the advice and suggestions. They did help. A lot.

My Mom, twenty years ago, when she got her first computer, wondered (remember screen burn and all that fun stuff?) if she should "just turn the computer off at night?" and I concurred....for her, that might be a good idea.

No accidental line spikes at night and such.....

I came by and saw the blinking light on the computer and asked why she wasn't turning off the computer....she insisted she had.

She turned off the monitor.

Made sense actually....that's where everything happened in her thinking LOL.

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