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Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On Dati... - 12/3/2013 12:34:06 PM   
David92506


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline 		My assertion is that women have it easier in developing a relationship than men do using online dating sites.

This is my argument: A man may send out 50 emails to 50 different women and perhaps no one will respond. A women may get 50 emails within a week from 50 different men who want to meet her. A woman may argue that those 50 men just want sex and not a relationship. But the only way she will know that is if she meets all 50 men.

If you were a gambling man who would you put your money on who will be the first to develop a relationship: A man who doesn't meet anyone or a woman who will meet 50 different men?

I've chatted with women and they believe the odds are the same for both genders. But I just don't understand their viewpoint and they don't understand my viewpoint.

It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men. What is your response?
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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 12:36:45 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		yes. 

_____________________________

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 12:42:21 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Since men on sites like this far outnumber women, the laws of supply and demand apply. It's a buyer's market and women get to pick and choose.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 12:46:18 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		I think that probably the answer is yes.

Although, once you delete the men who are obviously asshats, and the women that are really men, I'm not sure how uneven it would be.

I've found it very very easy to get decent responses from women - a) by being realistic about who I email in the first place (I'm not going to email a 23 y/o 5"5' model because she's probably fake and way too young for me) and b) by not being a total asshat in my first email.



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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 12:48:00 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		As I understand it, in most venues women have an easier time getting the attention of men.

I never hung out at a bar but have heard from other people who do that most women who do, will have men offer to buy them drinks.

Of course, a good portion of those are probably hoping for an easy lay but many of the men here are looking for that as well.

_____________________________

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 1:14:10 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506

My assertion is that women have it easier in developing a relationship than men do using online dating sites.



I don't agree. I believe it's easier for women to develop a relationship if they settle for second or third best, but I think the odds are the same if they are looking for a quality relationship. My viewpoint is from the M/f side of things...I don't really know enough about the m/F side of things to be qualified to comment.

quote:



This is my argument: A man may send out 50 emails to 50 different women and perhaps no one will respond. A women may get 50 emails within a week from 50 different men who want to meet her. A woman may argue that those 50 men just want sex and not a relationship. But the only way she will know that is if she meets all 50 men.



If a man is being selective in who he messages rather than sending one to every woman with a pulse and a vagina, then he's got a better chance of getting a reply. If he only sends them to women whose selection criteria he meets, then his chances increase again. If he only sends polite messages that do not discuss his penis/kinks/delusions of grandeur, then his chances improve exponentially.

quote:



If you were a gambling man who would you put your money on who will be the first to develop a relationship: A man who doesn't meet anyone or a woman who will meet 50 different men?



If a woman receives 50 messages a week, then it's highly unlikely she'll meet all of these men. Women who do online dating tend to get smart, quickly. I figured out that a guy is on his best behaviour for a week, maybe two. Then the mask starts to slip and you see the 'real' man. When I was looking, I would keep a guy chatting online for 2 or 3 weeks. By that time you get to know whether the man is a horndog (married or otherwise) and you don't even consider meeting him.

I must have been messaged by hundreds of guys while I was looking. About half of those could be instantly rejected for the idiotic 'hi' messages, or the fantasy-driven wankfests. A further quarter or so completely ignored my personal search criteria, so they were rejected.

So that leaves a quarter or so. These guys I'd start to chat with online. Quite quickly you'd lose the majority of these guys once they figured out I wasn't going to help them get their rocks off online, and I wasn't going to meet them for a quick shag behind the wife's back. I'd be left with maybe 4 or 5 who were possible.

Then you meet these few guys, and there'd be no chemistry with most of them. Nice guys, just no chemistry.

In my 8 years of dating through BDSM sites (this one and bondage.com) I met maybe 10 guys in total. I dated 2 of them. One lasted a few months before he realised he couldn't keep up the dominance outside the bedroom. The other...well, we've been together 3 years.

Maybe I'm too choosy, but I found a real dearth of eligible guys who fit my criteria. I'm glad I waited for the right one though, instead of settling for less than I needed/wanted.

quote:



I've chatted with women and they believe the odds are the same for both genders. But I just don't understand their viewpoint and they don't understand my viewpoint.

It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men. What is your response?


I would say that women get more messages than men. Quantity does not equate to quality, not by a long chalk.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 1:34:12 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506


It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men. What is your response?


I'd much rather have more business opportunities than opportunities to increase my frequent fuck miles. Wanna trade? Maybe we can start one of those life IS fair
things. It can be a meme!

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 1:36:14 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		For most of the probably thousands of emails I've received, I could tell right away that we were not compatible. I probably met about a dozen men. While I did go on to play with a few of them, none shared my relationship goals.

(I am now in a relationship with someone I met on OKCupid.)




< Message edited by kalikshama -- 12/3/2013 1:42:06 PM >

(in reply to David92506)
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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 1:48:03 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506

My assertion is that women have it easier in developing a relationship than men do using online dating sites.

This is my argument: A man may send out 50 emails to 50 different women and perhaps no one will respond. A women may get 50 emails within a week from 50 different men who want to meet her. A woman may argue that those 50 men just want sex and not a relationship. But the only way she will know that is if she meets all 50 men.

If you were a gambling man who would you put your money on who will be the first to develop a relationship: A man who doesn't meet anyone or a woman who will meet 50 different men?

I've chatted with women and they believe the odds are the same for both genders. But I just don't understand their viewpoint and they don't understand my viewpoint.

It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men. What is your response?



But the only way she will know that is if she meets all 50 men.

You know, that isn't really true.
Men can reveal quite a bit in their communications with us.
I realise it is just a generalisation, but the men who have multiple pictures of their cock in their profile, tend to think with their little heads.
And the men who start their message with "Kneel bitch" tend to not be relationship oriented.

There are a lot of tells that let us know that he really isn't looking for a Relationship.
And of the 50, perhaps one or 2 have actual relationship potential.

It really is the quality of the message (and the man) that matters.





_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to David92506)
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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 1:54:14 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506

My assertion is that women have it easier in developing a relationship than men do using online dating sites.

Indeed, especially when they're not whining crybags.

Maybe you should file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau about this.

_____________________________

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"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 2:59:58 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		your maths are way out for a start. my profile clearly states that i'm not here to meet, that no matter what you have to offer i'm not interested, but I still had way more than 50 emails a week. week in-week out. I dread to think what it's like for those that are looking. it shows that men out number women by huge amounts. it shows that a lot of men do not bother to read profiles, or care about what is there, and so ignore them. most expect that a woman will fuck anything that appears to be a hard-on............seriously guys; if that were to be the case I'd just use a dildo because at least I'd be sure of getting a good fuck that way.

I haven't been looking for anyone for years, but even in all the mail I have had there hasn't been a single person that would have sparked my interest had I been looking. When I was looking and advertised there were only two on one site that were possibles out of all the ones that contacted me. one soon fell by the side of the road, and the other turned out to be misrepresented. I actually found the person I finally started meeting through the forum. five years of contacts on various sites, and not one would appeal.

there may be quantity, but a multitude of i'll-fuck-anything-so-fuck-me-now men just dilute the quality of the pool. then to top it all off we get to listen to them all bitch in here when we tell them no.

needles

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I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 3:14:51 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'd rather be in the position of sending out lots of messages with a low response rate, than be swamped with lots of messages from incompatible people.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 3:54:06 PM   
MsMJAY


Posts: 515
Joined: 3/17/2013
Status: offline 		I admit it is different for women but no easier. We receive more emails but that has nothing to do with developing a relationship. A good number of the men who are not meeting anyone on CM have unrealistic expectations and a completely fucked up view of what it means to be in a DS relationship. You would not believe the men on CM who are looking for someone half their age, gorgeous, and into his kink(s) (and no others). Just browse some of the male profiles on here and you will see why "some" men "seem" to have a hard time meeting women.

BTW out of 50 emails a woman receives- At least 25 will be from men in Turkey, Instanbul or Belgium who just wanted to say they like your profile. The majority of the rest are guys asking me to cut off their balls, sneak around behind their wives' back, let them immediately move into my home (AKA-jobless bum) or want to know if I have a man with a big black cock that they can suck....."for me."


(in reply to David92506)
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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 3:59:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to cut you a break.

I don't think you presented your case very well, but if I am understanding your basic premise, I happen to agree with you. It is exceptionally easy for Me to get a response to an email. A part (not all) of the success that I have with meeting people, finding play partners, opening doors, and doing a lot of the stuff that is associated with WIITWD is associated with the fact that I'm a woman. Don't get Me wrong. There's other stuff that is in there, too. I'm an extrovert. I happen to be a pretty good top. I'm a type A personality. While I admit to rubbing some folks the wrong way, most folks seem to get along with Me. Even those that don't like Me, tend to respect Me.

In all sincerity, I understand this angle better than most. I happen to be married to another top/Dominant. I see the differences in opportunities between us all of the time.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 4:24:17 PM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		I would say that yes, women defintely have a greater raw number of oppotunities than men. Now if you want to factor in quality opportunities, then i think the number is closer to 2 :1 rather than the 50:1raw number.

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"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers, 1897-1935

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 4:39:42 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KYsissy

I would say that yes, women defintely have a greater raw number of oppotunities than men. Now if you want to factor in quality opportunities, then i think the number is closer to 2 :1 rather than the 50:1raw number.


I like that expression 'raw number'. For me the bottom line is the question of 'which sex finds the search easiest?'. On this, there's a certain 'apples compared to oranges' factor involved, to be sure. The difference in numbers of men looking for women and vice versa is bound to create that.

But I'd still rather be a male looking for a female partner than the reverse. I've no doubt women write to me far less frequently than men will write to almost any female on CM's lists. But only a couple of times, in five years, have I received any message that's even been unfriendly, never mind deliberately insulting. (And on those occasions I've found it funny more than anything else.) I've always known why men get depressed but now, after learning a bit, I can see why women get depressed, too.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 4:57:24 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

As I understand it, in most venues women have an easier time getting the attention of men.

I never hung out at a bar but have heard from other people who do that most women who do, will have men offer to buy them drinks.

Of course, a good portion of those are probably hoping for an easy lay but many of the men here are looking for that as well.


That's all I'm here for.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 5:55:27 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I would say a man who does not meet anyone has 99.9999 chance of NOT finding a relationship. But, over time WITH meeting he probably has as good a chance as that woman who MAYBE meets those 50 people. I can say I have probably met about 50, and only found a short time relationship with one of them. The odds balance out once you figure out that there has to be a equal desire from both parties to agree that the person they met is a good fit. My one guy in 50, turned out to be too long of a distance to sustain over time. Too much work for both of us. Things do balance out as long as people are not hiding out with the mentality of playing odds that make no real sense.


quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506


If you were a gambling man who would you put your money on who will be the first to develop a relationship: A man who doesn't meet anyone or a woman who will meet 50 different men?




_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 6:05:42 PM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: KYsissy

I would say that yes, women defintely have a greater raw number of oppotunities than men. Now if you want to factor in quality opportunities, then i think the number is closer to 2 :1 rather than the 50:1raw number.


I like that expression 'raw number'. For me the bottom line is the question of 'which sex finds the search easiest?'. On this, there's a certain 'apples compared to oranges' factor involved, to be sure. The difference in numbers of men looking for women and vice versa is bound to create that.
W
But I'd still rather be a male looking for a female partner than the reverse. I've no doubt women write to me far less frequently than men will write to almost any female on CM's lists. But only a couple of times, in five years, have I received any message that's even been unfriendly, never mind deliberately insulting. (And on those occasions I've found it funny more than anything else.) I've always known why men get depressed but now, after learning a bit, I can see why women get depressed, too.


Men use shotguns, women are snipers.


_____________________________

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers, 1897-1935

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/3/2013 6:41:32 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		You want to get a sense of the common tenor of those 50 messages a week that women get? Spend some time reading them here:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4267202/tm.htm

Or to put it another way, the odds are good but the goods are odd.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to David92506)
Profile   Post #: 20
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