RE: Am I being overly emotional?

RE: Am I being overly emotional? (Full Version)

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littlewonder -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 5:06:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HntersToy I think I am getting what you are saying, but if I agree to this submission/slavery don't that mean to give up some of my wants and desires? To be given up to what His needs are? I appreciate all of the comments and I am trying to encompass all that is being shared. Maybe, maybe not. Personally for me, yup there are needs/wants that I have forgone because I am Master's slave but I've learned to live happily without those things because the payoff is better than those needs/wants. So which is better....the needs/wants that you think you might lose? Or the payoff for forgoing those? Like you said, maybe you're just not cutout for his style. Seems he wants the route of M/s and you want D/s which to me are radically different.

HntersToy -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 5:11:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml FR.... Yethat I think you may well be being over emotional. You should be talking to him about this. While I really do accept many of the really good points made by the laydeeees on this thread, there really is a chance that he's no idea that he is doing this. This could really be a storm in a teacup. Even a hip interpersonal sensitive, emotionally literate chap like me can make a genuine mistake along these lines, and I would be a little irritated if my partner had gone onto a message board to flap about something rather than raising it with me. Or he could be a sick. Either way, none of us, no matter how insightful can make that call for you. Talk to him, and I hope you guys work it out. We will be fine. Hnter is a strong Man. He doesn't wear panties...so they won't be in a bunch over me posting this ;)

HntersToy -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 5:18:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: ORIGINAL: HntersToy He recently told me "We are not equal" that stung a little bit. Even while I knew and accepted that, to hear it was different. WHY does it bother you? Maybe this is not what you need to be in then if you want to be equal. Master states all the time we are not equal and I'm perfectly fine with that. In fact I like that and it's what I feel comfortable with. Is this guy someone you just submit to? Or is he someone you are in a committed, loving relationship with you? If he's just some guy then I'd say this is probably not what you want. If you are in the relationship then I'd say you two have a lot of talking ahead of you and it may be that you are now figuring out that being a slave is not you and maybe you guys can dial it back to sub instead so there is an equality that you seem to need. He is not just some guy. He is the only one I have ever submitted to and no one will come after Him. We are committed and best of friends. But the "slave" part has just come about, even though I do like it...some things I guess...I need to adjust to. We will remain strong. Even through my boughts of emotions ;)

sexyred1 -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 5:30:08 PM)
Never say no one will come after him. How do you know what life will bring you? Never denigrate your own emotions. There is usually a reason for them. It doesn't matter what anyone here thinks, if something is bothering you, discuss it and own it. Do not think that being a sub makes your needs less valid. For the record, it would piss me off if my man never complimented me and yet openly spoke about other women. Oh, and I hate when women have legitimate feelings and then blame them on hormones. Usually men use that tactic to avoid discussion. It's bullshit. Good luck.

HntersToy -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 5:43:12 PM)
Thank you sexyred!

kiwisub12 -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 6:52:13 PM)
My late dom loved to look at bdsm porn. And I enjoyed watching with him. I was very secure in his regard and him admiring other women didn't bother me. Now, when he started playing with other women, then I got a bit insecure..... We all have different triggers for what bothers us, and you need to respect that you will react to different things on different days. You are, after all, human - and so is he. Give the man some slack - especially if your relationship is strong. If that is the only thing you have to complain about, then you are one lucky woman! [:D]

kiwisub12 -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 6:54:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Well but we are not equal. You want the seat down, we want it up. You suck 100% of the cock. I take out 100% of the trash. You cook 75 % of the meals. I cook 25% of the meals. I check 100% of the oil. You clean 80% of the house. We call it 50/50 but it is not equal in the strictest of senses. But it is not not equal either, but it aint worth philosophizing or agonizing over, neither. This may be one of the most coherent, to-the-point posts mn has ever made. And while he may come across as obnoxious, and his little dancing icon makes me want to run with a meat cleaver, he makes pithy sense.

Greta75 -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 9:10:46 PM)
I like watching bdsm porn and admiring the beauty of other women together with my x-dom. Like if he notices a hot woman on the street, I'd look too and see if I agree with his taste or not. So things like that never bother me. What will bother me is if he pursues to play with another woman. But to be fair, I always had a simple system, if he plays with others, I will play with others, if his happy to be exclusive, I am happy to be exclusive, the ball is in his court. And frankly speaking, my x-dom never ever complimented me on my body, but he complimented more other women. But I guess I felt assured and not threatened because he always told me, he may flirt and look, but end of the day, the one he goes home to will always be me, so that didn't give me single cause of worry. And also because during play, I think his actions and the intense way he looks at me, speaks louder than words on his appreciation of my body.

TheWillToThrive -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 9:39:49 PM)
I'm not sure there is enough information here to accurately understand the entire situation. As I read through the thread my opinions varied a lot. If you are simply being jealous of him admiring the beauty of the human form then you are overreacting. It is possible that he is doing this on purpose, beyond just the admiration of beauty. Without knowledge of intent I wont comment further on that. Has this been going on the entire relationship and just now you are having issues with it? Have you grown significantly more emotionally attached to him? Is he commenting openly to the world on these other pictures and not with yours? Do you feel he doesn't or would not acknowledge you to the world? What part of the situation makes you jealous? Self esteem can be directly related to jealousy but not all jealousy is related to self esteem. Look at the root of WHY you feel jealous at these times and maybe that can shed some light on the situation. As far as the "we are not equal" comment depending on the context of that discussion that could be taken many different ways. Few of which are productive. By definition, you are not equal in your relationship. What we can't tell from the information provided is this: Is he hiding behind that statement in order to justify his actions or is he politely reminding you of your place in the relationship? It could even be something in between but you see the problem we have on this side of the question. Being a sub or a slave doesn't mean being intrinsically unhappy or unfulfilled. You are obviously concerned about this so do something! Communication will bring the issues to light and hopefully solve them. Gather your thoughts and questions and pick a good time to ask him to talk about your relationship. Face to face discussions in times like this is best if at all possible. Try not to be emotionally charged when having the discussion. Good luck!

tammystarm -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (12/31/2013 11:49:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HntersToy This is hard for me to post, my Master will likely see this, but at the moment I don't care. Am I wrong to be upset that my Master praises, gushes over other women's pics and NEVER comments on mine. As I am typing this it seems so very trivial, but the tears tell me it is deeper. He is a caring and attentive Man, but sometimes He really pisses me off. Am I being overly emotional? I am female and so cannot answer but I do have access to a Master and asked Him. He says he thinks you should ask him like I just did my master since you really care what your master thinks. Perhaps if you wish the view of other submissives you might ask this in that forum? I can answer there since I respect forum purposes and protocol and I am told by my master that respect for protocol is important to BDSM types and the lack of it is very distasteful.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 1:01:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tammystarm Perhaps if you wish the view of other submissives you might ask this in that forum? I can answer there since I respect forum purposes and protocol and I am told by my master that respect for protocol is important to BDSM types and the lack of it is very distasteful. Suggesting that she violate the rules of this board is rather silly and will get her slapped down by the mods. If your fellow doesn't want you responding in Ask a Whatever, that's cool, but for you - as a long time member - to suggest that she double post, knowing full well it is against the rules, is an interesting choice. As you and he know, everybody can post anywhere they want. To the OP: It can be hard when a person doesn't get the thing they think is needed. It sucks. But I always wonder about this "too emotional" thing. People are emotional. That is part of what makes us people. It's how we manage our emotions that can lead to joy or to a storm. Good luck. sunshine

tammystarm -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 1:13:32 AM)
quote: As you and he know, everybody can post anywhere they want. Everyone can post anywhere they want. Is that the point? Or is the point that one should respect intended forum purposes and protocol as he and I do in any BDSM gathering anywhere? Do you? One can ask the question again in another forum after obtaining initial information here by addressing submissives and wording the question appropriately. Do not put words into my mouth and pretend you are a mod by offering your unwanted and unwarranted judgment on my post.

VideoAdmnOmicron -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 1:54:25 AM)
Since you seemed to request for a "mod" to clarify this point, this moderator will indulge you. Yes, tammystarm, anyone is free to answer any question posted in any of the forums, regardless of orientation. For additional clarification regarding cross posting topics: http://www.collarchat.com/m_73512/tm.htm Duplicate and Repeat posts - Please do not make posts bringing peoples attention to another post in the same or a different area. If you have something to contribute to the topic then please post to the original topic. Please do not start a duplicate or similar thread if there is an active thread on the subject already or was fairly recently. I hope that's helpful. Thank you for your forum participation.

crazyml -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 2:44:17 AM)
<beams>

kallisto -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 5:42:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Well but we are not equal. You want the seat down, we want it up. You suck 100% of the cock. I take out 100% of the trash. You cook 75 % of the meals. I cook 25% of the meals. I check 100% of the oil. You clean 80% of the house. We call it 50/50 but it is not equal in the strictest of senses. But it is not not equal either, but it aint worth philosophizing or agonizing over, neither. This is great !!!!! [:)]

sunshinemiss -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 6:32:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml <beams> suckup

HntersToy -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 7:10:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss quote: ORIGINAL: tammystarm Perhaps if you wish the view of other submissives you might ask this in that forum? I can answer there since I respect forum purposes and protocol and I am told by my master that respect for protocol is important to BDSM types and the lack of it is very distasteful. Suggesting that she violate the rules of this board is rather silly and will get her slapped down by the mods. If your fellow doesn't want you responding in Ask a Whatever, that's cool, but for you - as a long time member - to suggest that she double post, knowing full well it is against the rules, is an interesting choice. As you and he know, everybody can post anywhere they want. To the OP: It can be hard when a person doesn't get the thing they think is needed. It sucks. But I always wonder about this "too emotional" thing. People are emotional. That is part of what makes us people. It's how we manage our emotions that can lead to joy or to a storm. Good luck. sunshine Tammystarm, I was asking Masters, not subs.

HntersToy -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 7:18:08 AM)
Will...I am not jealous, that is a whole other issue and is long gone from my mindset. i'm good and grateful for our relationship. I have a wonderful Master and could not ask for more. Thank you to everyone who posted well thought out responses. I got pics to take, lol....

sunshinemiss -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 7:18:46 AM)
Yes, that is what tammy is saying... but on the boards, once you put the question out, anyone can answer any thread. I would point out, though, that you received quite a few good answers from women. good luck, sunshine

HntersToy -> RE: Am I being overly emotional? (1/1/2014 7:21:49 AM)
yes, lots of good answers! I appreciate them all.

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