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RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 2:56:44 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

If I decide to become a Switch, I will do it regardless of what anyone thinks, but - I am curious why some people seem to think Switches are akin to untouchables.


Generally, it's because we are viewed as confused and don't know what we want. Speaking for myself, I have zero confusion about my orientation for S/m, D/s or my sexuality. I'm a sadist, a masochist, a slave and bisexual. No confusion at all!

Sometimes we are seen as folks who want to have their cake and eat it, too. Well, what's the point of having cake if you can't eat it!

quote:

If I became a Switch, I'd stay a submissive if I was with a Dominant person, and stay Dominant if I was with a submissive person, right?


Right! Unless it's something else. ::chuckles:: You may be submissive to one person and a top to someone else, bottom to several people, dominant to one person, dominant to several, bottom to several ... the combinations are almost endless! Feel free to be yourself!

I am owned by one, and while I would feel quite comfortable to bottom to others, I'm not allowed to .. so I top others because that is allowed and I do enjoy it. I get the sadistic side fed that way, the masochistic side fed by Himself as well as my craving for service and power exchange. So, that's the cake and a glass of milk to boot and I guzzle them both!

quote:

(Unless they were Switches, too and wanted to Switch in the middle of a scene or something).


That, too!

quote:

**So what is the issue?


::insert eerie music here:: We're scaaary.. maybe contagious even! Someone could catch the itchy-switchy virus we carry.

Boo! ::laughs::

quote:

 Does that not happen often, in reality?


In reality.. damn near everything happens somewhere to someone.

quote:

Is there some doubt about their "committment level" to their partners? What?


There is no reason for there to be any doubt. Be up front, honest and open and people can trust you are exactly what you say you are.. a switch .. and you can be as committed to switching as anyone else can be to their orientation.

quote:

I do not want to turn this into a Switch bashing sesssion - I am just curious.


No problem at all with being curious. Getting information is just arming yourself for all the possibilities available to you. Good for you!

quote:

Even  I, when I was seeking a partner, would only look at Dominant profiles, even though it is obvious Switches would/could be Dominant as well. Why do some people do that? 


Someone has to represent the unwashed poster children of BDSM and switches got elected. ::chuckles:: Personally, I think it's cuz we look cute in hats.

Not 'all' switches can be dominant though. Take me, for example. I'm a sadist, not a dominant, so if someone were looking for a pain trip, that I can provide.. if they are looking for a power trip, they'd need to look elsewhere. So, it's just easier to go searching strictly for the orientation which you think can best serve your 'overall' needs and for a submissive, dominants are more likely to fit that bill than switches because they don't have to worry about filling needs on the other side as well. Bottoms would probably have more opportunities if they included switches in their search function. But, it's hard to change perceptions. Best to leave it on a person by person basis and see how that goes. Some may inspire your submissive nature and you'll find that you never 'want' to switch with them. Others may inspire your dominant side and you'll find you wouldn't be able to submit to them in a million years.

quote:

**The other question I have is: Is it more fun? Do you really get "double the fun"?


That's subjective and individual.  More fun than who?  

quote:

I mean you do double the odds for a partner I suppose.


Not necessarily. Finding a fit is finding a fit and it's just as hard for a switch as anyone else. Now, a bisexual can double the odds because they get both genders.. but the very fact that someone identifies as a switch is going to turn 'off' a lot of potential people, not turn them on. Sad, but true.

quote:

Do you get more free stuff at conventions?


Not exactly, but you do get to use all that free stuff in more ways.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 2:57:17 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I really appreciate your posts! Thank you, everyone.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 3:19:19 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		What about the girl who is submissive through and through…but likes to Top?  I realize I’m no Domme…but have submissive/slave pals that I enjoy beating.  It’s physically exhilarating and lots of fun.  I happen not to include sex with the boys I play with…it’s purely about the beatings.  I would never be interested in ‘switching’ mid-stream or with anybody I felt submissive towards.  But I do like to beat willing bodies!  LOL  I’m good at it, too.
 
Before I get hammered for being a man-hater; I’m fairly heterosexual though have found some women sexually attractive (and have been with those persons in a sexual way).  I like men very much, even submissive men; my beating them is fun for me, because I know exactly what they must be feeling!  It’s a pleasure to pleasure them…in that way. 
 
How on earth this could be a bit uncomfortable to my partner (who could be there, if he so choose) is beyond me; even if I were in a Monogamous relationship. 
 
But I understand your dilemma, Susan…I don’t identify as a switch (though some might say I am one), because it is not part of my D/s relationships, nor do I have some underlying need to switch.  I just find it fun…  It’s hardly even a true power exchange.  I’m a Top, now and then; but a submissive all the time.
 
Gee…even typing that, I see there IS more of a power exchange than none at all.  I remember strong feelings of power; it’s sort of complicated; but it’s not a ‘need’ of mine…to Top, where I do need to be submissive.  Make sense?
 
(and I agree with WyrdRich…you cannot believe how many Dominants came to me offering submission when I had my Toppy profile up.  Sheeshhhhhhhhhhhhh!   I’m just a disappointment to them, though)

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 3:26:26 PM   
DigitBox


Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

If I decide to become a Switch, I will do it regardless of what anyone thinks, but - I am curious why some people seem to think Switches are akin to untouchables.

If I became a Switch, I'd stay a submissive if I was with a Dominant person, and stay Dominant if I was with a submissive person, right? (Unless they were Switches, too and wanted to Switch in the middle of a scene or something).


No, in my case I call myself a 50/50 switch because I can go either way depending on how I'm feeling. Some times I feel compelled to take charge and be the one who makes things happen, and sometimes I wish to be lead. It's just how it is with me. It makes life a little more complicated as it does require some negotiation with a partner to ascertain what side of the power dynamic their headspace is in too.

For other switches sometimes they default to one role but then occasionally will want to change things once in a while.

Most switches don't switch mid-scene as it kind of spoils the mood.

I switch because it's in my nature to be both Dominant and submissive. In my case you can't separate one from the other. I am a duality.

Some see me as the ultimate fence sitter. To me I am simply existing as I truely am.

quote:


**The other question I have is: Is it more fun? Do you really get "double the fun"? I mean you do double the odds for a partner I suppose. Do you get more free stuff at conventions? .



No it is just as difficult to find another who is comfortable with the ability to be both. And I'm pretty sure it's just as much fun for a switch as it is for anyone else. Same concept, just different implimentation.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 3:30:03 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

What about the girl who is submissive through and through…but likes to Top?  I realize I’m no Domme…but have submissive/slave pals that I enjoy beating.  It’s physically exhilarating and lots of fun.  I happen not to include sex with the boys I play with…it’s purely about the beatings.  I would never be interested in ‘switching’ mid-stream or with anybody I felt submissive towards.  But I do like to beat willing bodies!  LOL  I’m good at it, too.
 
Before I get hammered for being a man-hater; I’m fairly heterosexual though have found some women sexually attractive (and have been with those persons in a sexual way).  I like men very much, even submissive men; my beating them is fun for me, because I know exactly what they must be feeling!  It’s a pleasure to pleasure them…in that way. 
 
How on earth this could be a bit uncomfortable to my partner (who could be there, if he so choose) is beyond me; even if I were in a Monogamous relationship. 
 
But I understand your dilemma, Susan…I don’t identify as a switch (though some might say I am one), because it is not part of my D/s relationships, nor do I have some underlying need to switch.  I just find it fun…  It’s hardly even a true power exchange.  I’m a Top, now and then; but a submissive all the time.
 
Gee…even typing that, I see there IS more of a power exchange than none at all.  I remember strong feelings of power; it’s sort of complicated; but it’s not a ‘need’ of mine…to Top, where I do need to be submissive.  Make sense?
 
(and I agree with WyrdRich…you cannot believe how many Dominants came to me offering submission when I had my Toppy profile up.  Sheeshhhhhhhhhhhhh!   I’m just a disappointment to them, though)
 
*This probably best describes where I'd consider myself "at" right now (regardless of the fact I've acted on absolutely none of these feelings). I do appreciate all of the feedback, from anyone who wrote, truly.
 
- Susan
 




< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/5/2006 3:36:19 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 3:58:06 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I identify as a Sado-masochistic dominant woman (who happens to not care one way or the other about gender).  This means I enjoy being on the receiving end of S/m play as well as sadism and dominance.  I don't identify as a switch because I'm not submissive - I'm a sadistic dominant woman who likes it rough coming and going - and I'm a bit smug about being able to take it as well as I dish it out.

I don't bottom to tops that need submission.  It's just not a match.  I'm a do-me domme and need to know that the top and I have mutual goals of getting me to where I want to be.  But for a primary relationship my preference runs to either submissives (first choice) or dominants with their own subs (second choice).  My personal experiences with a switch who was a primary partner were not good.  The waters were always muddy, temperaments waxed and waned too much and there was no consistancy.  The commitment to submission also waxed and waned.  It's just not a place I want to be again.  I would not be in a primary relationship with a dominant (as a dominant couple) who was not committed to making it clear to their submissives that I am the priority and they have to get along with me if they want to stick around.  Too much trouble.

In short, I'm not interested in doing a lot of work to overcome obsticals that could otherwise be avoided all together.  I'm not averse to meeting someone who so totally trips my trigger that I want to find a way to make it work - but I'm not beating the bushes looking for that situation.

But for friends and play partners I couldn't care less what your orientation is, we can make it work for a few hours. 

edited to add: Good grief, I didnt mean to put that smiley in the subject line.  How do I get it out?

< Message edited by MizSuz -- 7/5/2006 3:59:33 PM >

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 4:43:29 PM   
SmokeyM


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Being a Switch is not easy as some reasons having been stated already. The thing is to be honest in which ever relationship you are in. For myself it all depends on the person I am with, grant I do also look for the perfect poly relationship. Anyways, don't settle, keep it real for yourself and the one you would be with. In the end it will all work out.
 
~Smokey

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 5:12:48 PM   
Kree


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Susan

First comment... do not lie... period. 

Second comment... You seem to indicate that you have no experience with Topping/Dominance.  Would it not make more sense to consider all the different things involved in topping/dominance before buying a new cloak to wear?  Do you have the skills to create a scene and the technical skills to wield a flogger or a whip or a "whatever"?  Do you have the attitude to command the respect from a potential play partner that is necessary to work through a scene? 

Third comment... From your other posts, you have been through a lot of things recently.  From the loss of a loved one to the (my words) betrayal by someone you thought was a close friend, whose main goal was getting in your pants.  You had a difficult time telling a lamer that his abuse of that friendship was unacceptable and that his pouting over not getting laid was a signal to cut off all contact.  Where was this dominant streak when that was going on? 

Fourth comment... I would not wish to meet a switch as a potential partner for one personal reason.  I have had my fun times of playing with various people and, for me, this world is now about building and maintaining a permanent relationship with one partner.  I have no interest in poly, no interest in switching, and no interest in watching my partner play as a top or a bottom with another.  I am not saying that a switch can not and does not have an interest in possible relationships other than play, but those relationships by their very nature will need to be with another switch for role reversals, poly, or with a partner that encourages participation with others. 

On a purely personal note, I do not know you, but I have read pain and confusion in your posts.  You have stated several times that you are several months away from being ready for most activities.  Why make this a "do it now" decision when you are still working through very basic life situations.  You have forever to make this type decision, why rush it?  I wish you well in whatever you do, just do it honestly, and for you and you alone. 

edited for clarity

< Message edited by Kree -- 7/5/2006 5:14:50 PM >

_____________________________

Author of "Nytewhispers"

Power whispers, it has no reason to yell

(in reply to SmokeyM)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 5:46:54 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		We've worked with several switches over the years, and have found them to be wholly enjoyable, both to participate with and to watch. We've found that the best alpha servants (Chatelaines, Butlers, etc.) have been switches, and completely comfortable being subservient to us, and still managing those for whom they are responsible.

I have a great deal of respect for our switches, and would encourage an individual who truly believes hirself to be a switch to take the time to find out where xhe belongs in this lifestyle -- everyone will benefit, no matter what the final decision, if xhe knows what works for hir and what xhe is capable of.

In many cases, I think that switches get a bad rap for the same reason that bisexuals do... it is harder for people to put us in a box and label us one or the other, and that makes many people so uncomfortable that the only way they can cope with the sensation is to denegrate the individuals who caused them to react with such discomfort.

ZWD

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 5:54:26 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
The people matter 50 x more than the damn roles.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 6:22:03 PM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		Many people I've known have started on one side and went to the other.  Part of it is that IMO if you put any two people in a room one of them will be dominant over the other.  I've met doms that could never have dominated me and slaves who were far stronger of mind and purpose than most dominants.

Some bottoms will not have anything to do with someone who has not bottomed themselves.  I do think it gives a more rounded view of what the submissive experiences and makes for a more dynamic dominant.

To me it comes down to the difference between people and accepting that the dynamics may be there with one but not the other. 

Somewhat like you I've wondered just why people get so worried about switches.  Many a group I've gone to has had dominants stand up and make known that they are dom only.  I wonder at those times if they are worried about someone topping them, afraid they might lose their concept of self if they don't proclaim their domliness.   


(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 6:35:59 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Take me, for example. I'm a sadist, not a dominant, so if someone were looking for a pain trip, that I can provide.. if they are looking for a power trip, they'd need to look elsewhere. 


I never really thought about it the way you put it before..but I think you did hit the nail on the head for me.  I am not Dominant, I don't really like telling someone what to do.. or managing their lives in any way.  I guess I am more of a sadist.  I like sexual torture the most, the turning him on and not letting him get off kind.  I knew that I didn't fit the Domme category, but I never really knew how to describe myself in another form.
 
So I suppose if I were in a line for labels I would now be a bi/sub/slave/sadist/sorta-poly/masochist.
 
Kinda sound like that song from "Mary Poppins" supercalafragulistic...etc..
 
                                          Respectfully, andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 6:39:00 PM   
KennelDeSade2


Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline 		I would say that a female switch is going to find more people OK with her being a switch as long as it's femdom, and a male is going to find that it's mostly complete social suicide.  Seems that the average sub fem has a problem with the mental image of their Master screaming for more while being taken with strapon or whatever.

My own view is that I would rather be with someone who does not feel the pull to split their focus.  If only for the reason that I've never been very good at trying to be two very different things at once, and being any good at either.


_____________________________

Rules? Just one: I say, she does.
Everything else, is just details.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 8:59:18 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well Kree, you make a good point. I am considering what i may be in the future. Someone, eventually, is going to want to know what that is. I appreciate what you said, btw. I do appreciate all of the responses. I agree that the people matter more than the damn roles.

I truly wish that Switches could eradicate their insincere reputation.
I do understand why someone might choose not to be with a Switch, however.

I (hopefully) am not one of those folks who'd be wishing the other person would do me the "real way I want" and would just be there waiting, and doing whatever to them their way so I could get "mine" - why bother? There are too many straight submissives and Dominants out there for that. Besides, especially in my own case - if I didn't care enough to do what someone wanted, I wouldn't be much of a submissive would I?

I can see where being a Switch might be considered social suicide for may males. But I'm primarily a sub-fem and I've had a few people tell me they could never be with a Switch for any LTR (or even something less long-term). But since I asked them what they thought that is what I got - their answer (and they were being honest).

As far as the "hidden, unspoken under-current" present in a scene with a Switch - I haven't done it so have no opinion on this (which is why I am asking for other opinions). Maybe it really is there. Is it possible this perception is in people's heads - of course if it is - it's still very present, isn't it? And where else would it be?  

As far as the sincerity question: I understand it. I am sure there are also insincere Dom/mes and insincere submissives, and insincere monogamists and polygamists and sadists and masochists and the list goes on. I know someone already said that and I guess I think it is so beautiful I found it worth repeating.

Maybe Switches really are the poster child-scape goats of the "bdsm world" - for some.
In any case, it is nice to hear some encouraging responses. I know I said I wanted them and appreciate everyone's response - even if it might not have been what I wanted to hear....I just wanted to get a feel for general opinion, too. I really do/did.
Thanks.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/5/2006 9:33:17 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 9:02:04 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		I thought I was a switch when I first began too susan. It took me a few years to finally sort out where I fit best.

Only time, and real life experience will do that for you.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 9:06:48 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		That could be the issue. I am not sure (but appreciate the thought).

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 9:47:08 PM   
realmanfordomme


Posts: 37
Joined: 4/13/2006
Status: offline 		I think there are many reasons switches have a more difficult time hooking up here.First off the larger majority are iether Domme or sub specific , which understandable might question whether on not they could have a long term  relationship  with someone that may need to experience  both aspects especialy if they do not have that same need ! I have been in chat rooms where the "Dominants" proclaimed there is not such thing as a switch.After perusing the lifestyle for several years  , i will say they are dead wrong , EVERYONE  switchs in real life , or they would be in jail! Are they dominant  when stopped and questioned by the police?Of course not , they submit to the questioning, no matter how diligent , or they get arrested!would the submisive mother let her child be placed in harms way with out speaking up? of course not!  So every normal person has situations where they  might switch from their primary role .some more or less than others but still they do ! I am sure many dominants feel threatened  by the idea of their selves being put in a submisive role.The most insecure  are so twisted, they only way they can build theirselves " up" in their eyes is to victimize another  ie, they need to feel the sensation of power, even if it is contrived !  oh yes  your not beating or dominating anyone that deosnt submit theirselves are  you? You Dommes are not going out to the mall and dragging some guy back to your cave unawares for a strap on session are you?are you?   of course not ! all this play takes place under very controled environments !just as many submisives here ( moslty men ) are so starved for attention, they would submit to any type of treatment to get some attention !  Me i  wanted to switch to experience both sides , all ranges of the spectrum.But i am seriously rapdily tiring of trying to gain the attention of some fickle bitches, self proclaimed dominants  most of whom dont even have control of their own body/eating habits, financial  dominants,whores by any definition of the word! Whores that entice  you to email them at yahoo, so they can sell your information to an email list!   Many cliaming a lifestyle of  what is realy an uncontrolable obsession.to each his own i guess , but damn me if i let  the physical sensations of the flesh command my every action or even  the majority of each day !to each his/own ,and everything happens for a reason, and whatever  consenting ADULTS Agree to , is fine by me , in the end we all answer for our hearts/actions. me? I am off to find an old fashioned sweet heart,  vanillas relationships  , are difficult enough to maintian these days !but i leave you with the words of Gary Vukov, from his book " THE SEAT OF THE SOUL" ....  where he says " from the begining of time , all evil can be traced to one thing, that is people wanting power over other people! " hmm i think he has a valid point there!  Jody 

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/5/2006 9:55:54 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

      Yes, heaven forbid anyone should violate the nifty little rules so well established in the chatrooms or step outside the convenient boxes we are all supposed to stay inside.  Gotta watch the 'comfort zones' of the insecure who will protest just a bit too much to be convincing.
I don't see anyone protesting too much except you babe.

Some of us know we are dominant all the time (as some are submissive all the time), and while we respect everyone's choices, we also know enough about ourselves to know switching doesn't work for us.
When I attended a group event and found that majority were switches, I didn't know quite what to think other than it is a way to get to play with the most number of people...  Nothing wrong with that, but I get my kicks from dominating my man, not my ability to top/bottom to half the room.   M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 7/5/2006 9:59:52 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to WyrdRich)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/6/2006 5:38:05 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
I don't see anyone protesting too much except you babe.


    Well, I'm certain that somebody with more online time available to them and a faster connection could provide you with a couple dozen links to "trash the switch" threads and then three more outing extremely image conscious Doms who asked somebody to top them. 

     Kisses

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Switching and Social Death - 7/6/2006 5:53:27 PM   
APerfectParadox


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

I think there are a lot of subs/slaves that maybe feel the same way you do.. I being one of them. 
 
I don't think I could ever top my Sir..but I was not opposed to having a sub male.. or even a switch one that I would be able to Domme.


quote:

there is the rare occasion where I feel more Dominant.  I am not sure why this is, but maybe it's just a case of getting out of the routine once in a while.. or being able to show that side of me .. whereas in my M/s relationship it must always be kept at bay.

I have quit trying to put myself into a category.  If I had to it would be a bisexual/sub/slave/Dom/somewhat poly type of chick..and that is just way too much to write out all the time.
 
                 Do what feels right for you and screw the rest.
 
                                        


 i agree with all of the above ( except fot the poly part , i don't share well)


_____________________________

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

If there were dreams to sell, what would you buy?

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 60
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