MySweetSubmssive
Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline
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This is such a juicy thread!
I have always had difficulty with the word switch because it seems too close to "fickle."
I have been both dominant and submissive, but wouldn't identify as switch. Switch, to me, implies that one might go either way. The truth for me is that I'm mostly dominant, but now and again meet a dominant who really gets to me on a visceral level, or I really want to feel pain (in which case I try to find a sadist instead of a dominant). It would be great if one could identify on the profile a la Kinsey scale (a gradation), rather than domimant, submissive or switch. The word switch also feels odd because when I'm dominant, I'm dominant. When I'm submissive, I'm fully committed to being that way. I want to twist or I want to please ... there's only been one case where it's changed in the middle of things.
I tend to think that (genetically or otherwise) ALL people are a little bit of both dominant or submissive. Of course, I think this because I am a little bit of both. When people say that they are all one, I chalk it up to fear, but that may be closed-minded of me. I don't see moving between the two poles as being confused or being greedy but just ... being. I don't like being in any one box, and am somewhat fluid in identity. When on alt, I started with a submissive profile and then created a dominant one. It amazed me how many of the same men contacted me. Some were just hosers looking for fuck, but many were sincere people. This insight stuck with me. As humans, we seek a variety of ways to express ourselves. That's so cool.
I've found the two sides of the D/s coin to be more similar than dissimilar, which may explain my desire to go both ways. When submissive, I've felt incredibly strong with a good dominant. When with a dear submissive, I can access my own vulnerability. I love this paradox, and wouldn't want to close off access to either side.
I do not claim on my profile that I'm a switch, both for a lack of fit with the word and a leeriness with the responses it might invite. I get dopey messages from doms now, and don't want to invite more inappropriate responses from men who feel the desire to "take me down." Urp. If I wanted to express the submissive side of myself, I'd set up another profile and then mention the existence of the other profile at the bottom of each narrative. I think Lucky Albatross has something like this.
I had one partner who I met while identifying as submissive who I switched with. We were both intensely strong-willed people, and fed off of each other. We could switch mid-encounter. We were connected enough and had a Dom/sub balance of desires that worked. I loved that. I rarely switch with someone who has started out as submissive with me. I think it's happened once.
Thanks for the thread. It's really been thought-provoking.
< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 7/7/2006 7:41:13 PM >
_____________________________
"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."
--Miss Moneypenny
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RE: Switching and Social Death - 
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