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Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 4:16:48 AM   
DRAKE326


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/15/2014
Status: offline 		I am fairly confident. That means I have at least a litle self respect. As a Dom I find it important to respect others as much or more than I respect myself. Yes that means I respect subs too. Just because someone may want to serve me does not mean they are due any less consideration than anyone else. But I will discipline as necessary for misconduct and especially for anyone that serves me and does not respect themselves.These are just my thoughts and an opinion or two.

< Message edited by DRAKE326 -- 1/20/2014 4:19:36 AM >
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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 4:23:38 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
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quote:

But I will discipline as necessary for misconduct and especially for anyone that serves me and does not respect themselves.


Until someone is yours, you don't have the right to discipline anyone. If someone thought I disrespected them and tried to discipline me when we weren't in a dynamic, I would laugh at them.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 1/20/2014 4:36:05 AM >

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 4:48:52 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		The OP didn't mention anything about disciplining outside of the dynamic, I'm not sure why you'd assume that, Searching.

In any case I agree Drake, mutual respect is very important. Welcome to the discussion side. I look forward to your contributions.




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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 4:53:15 AM   
DRAKE326


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/15/2014
Status: offline 		But of course it later refers to someone serving me. I woild never presume to discipline anyone not cotracted or negotiated with me. Please excuse any confusion. You are right to be indignant about what was perceived to be my presumption. First and fore most I use self discipline and would never bother someone elses partner unless it was agreed to mutually. Sorry again for any confusion. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 5:45:28 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I agree with the importance of mutual respect, but I do have to comment on one thing.

Disciplining someone who doesn't respect you, won't make them respect you. It will make them resent you. Disciplining someone who already respects you might well result in improved behaviour, but if there's no respect, the relationship is already broken and no amount of discipline and punishment will fix it.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 5:48:04 AM   
Phoenixpower


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
Disciplining someone who doesn't respect you, won't make them respect you. It will make them resent you. Disciplining someone who already respects you might well result in improved behaviour, but if there's no respect, the relationship is already broken and no amount of discipline and punishment will fix it.


very well said

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 8:03:18 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

The OP didn't mention anything about disciplining outside of the dynamic, I'm not sure why you'd assume that, Searching.

In any case I agree Drake, mutual respect is very important. Welcome to the discussion side. I look forward to your contributions.






He used the word "especially" which led me to believe that he would attempt to discipline outside the dynamic. If I'm wrong, I apologize for the misinterpretation.


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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 8:20:11 AM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DRAKE326

I am fairly confident. That means I have at least a litle self respect. As a Dom I find it important to respect others as much or more than I respect myself. Yes that means I respect subs too. Just because someone may want to serve me does not mean they are due any less consideration than anyone else. But I will discipline as necessary for misconduct and especially for anyone that serves me and does not respect themselves.These are just my thoughts and an opinion or two.


The bolded part above seems to come across as beating someone while they are down. A negative being used to fix a negative seems to defeat the purpose. If I was trying to help raise someone's self respect, I would praise the positives and progress. Discipline would also mess with my trust of the person punishing me for lack of self respect.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 8:42:05 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
quote:

ORIGINAL: DRAKE326

I am fairly confident. That means I have at least a litle self respect. As a Dom I find it important to respect others as much or more than I respect myself. Yes that means I respect subs too. Just because someone may want to serve me does not mean they are due any less consideration than anyone else. But I will discipline as necessary for misconduct and especially for anyone that serves me and does not respect themselves.These are just my thoughts and an opinion or two.


The bolded part above seems to come across as beating someone while they are down. A negative being used to fix a negative seems to defeat the purpose. If I was trying to help raise someone's self respect, I would praise the positives and progress. Discipline would also mess with my trust of the person punishing me for lack of self respect.

Perhaps he didn't mean respect themselves as in self image but was referring to respecting themselves as his property? He owns the slave, the slave eats something shitty, they are disrespecting his property. In which case praising the positives for them for feeding themselves is bulshit when they should be reprimanded for eating something shitty. Get it?

I dunno', that's how I see what he said.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 9:27:55 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		If they disrespect you, beating them won't make them respect you. If someone disrespects you, it's time to look at yourself and ask yourself WHY do they disrespect you? It starts with you, not them.

If I disrespect Master it's because something is wrong with our relationship. His beating me won't change that. I will just come to not want to be with him even more.


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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 9:40:37 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

The OP didn't mention anything about disciplining outside of the dynamic, I'm not sure why you'd assume that, Searching.

In any case I agree Drake, mutual respect is very important. Welcome to the discussion side. I look forward to your contributions.






He used the word "especially" which led me to believe that he would attempt to discipline outside the dynamic. If I'm wrong, I apologize for the misinterpretation.



Actually I found the interpretation to be rather appropriate.


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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 9:49:58 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So how does punishing her for poor self esteem help her to acquire good self esteem?

And if this isn't just a thinly veiled personal ad, I'll eat my hat

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 9:55:42 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DRAKE326

I am fairly confident. That means I have at least a litle self respect. As a Dom I find it important to respect others as much or more than I respect myself. Yes that means I respect subs too. Just because someone may want to serve me does not mean they are due any less consideration than anyone else. But I will discipline as necessary for misconduct and especially for anyone that serves me and does not respect themselves.These are just my thoughts and an opinion or two.


I don't think that your thoughts are particularly well articulated and leave it for a lot of interpretations beyond want you are trying to say.

I will say that misconduct doesn't equate to disrespect, though it can be. If you approach every misconduct as a disrespect their will be a lot bigger problems in ones future and disrespect is assured to happen among other things.

Secondly, confidence or lack of it doesn't equate to having self respect or lack of it. The two often co exist but are not dependent on each other.

Thirdly, I agree that it's necessary to "address" misconduct in a dynamic. But how and when that is done often shows the respect that exists in the dynamic.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 2:04:39 PM   
WonderNotWander


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/17/2008
Status: offline 		Something I thought deserved being pointed out was that he said discipline the slave. Discipline does not always mean the slave is to be beaten(mentally or physically), or punished. Discipline and punishment are usually separate things. His version of discipline could be much different than what anyone is imagining.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 2:10:40 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		I like to dip them in honey and throw them to the lesbians.

Jus sayin
Exiled

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 2:15:36 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WonderNotWander

Something I thought deserved being pointed out was that he said discipline the slave. Discipline does not always mean the slave is to be beaten(mentally or physically), or punished. Discipline and punishment are usually separate things. His version of discipline could be much different than what anyone is imagining.



It could but the odds are against it.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 2:16:04 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WonderNotWander

Something I thought deserved being pointed out was that he said discipline the slave. Discipline does not always mean the slave is to be beaten(mentally or physically), or punished. Discipline and punishment are usually separate things. His version of discipline could be much different than what anyone is imagining.
e


I agree... That is why I said 'Address' instead of discipline. I suspect the OP was suggesting he would address and correct it which may or may not include punishment depending on the situation.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 3:07:23 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DRAKE326
I will discipline as necessary for misconduct and especially for anyone that serves me and does not respect themselves.These are just my thoughts and an opinion or two.

Especially?? Don't you mean ONLY?? If you are not a person's Dominant, you have no business whatsoever "disciplining" her or him. He or she is not yours to discipline.

NBMG

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 4:31:15 PM   
phoenixchild


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WonderNotWander

Something I thought deserved being pointed out was that he said discipline the slave. Discipline does not always mean the slave is to be beaten(mentally or physically), or punished. Discipline and punishment are usually separate things. His version of discipline could be much different than what anyone is imagining.

I agree that discipline and punishment are two different items. Also, a punishment does not always equal a beating, it could mean something such as taking away a privilege that had been previously granted.

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RE: Respect ..... - 1/20/2014 4:33:39 PM   
phoenixchild


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DRAKE326
I will discipline as necessary for misconduct and especially for anyone that serves me and does not respect themselves.These are just my thoughts and an opinion or two.

Especially?? Don't you mean ONLY?? If you are not a person's Dominant, you have no business whatsoever "disciplining" her or him. He or she is not yours to discipline.

NBMG

He does clarify that up and apologized for any confusion that caused.

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