RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style?

RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (Full Version)

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Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/23/2014 4:49:25 PM)
-fr In my experience, without love it isn't very compelling.

ARIES83 -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/23/2014 5:45:09 PM)
I'm not the most qualified to answer that question: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdS5lkeN8_8

littlewonder -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/23/2014 7:28:56 PM)
no love no bdsm. no relationship no bdsm. no commitment, no bdsm.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/23/2014 8:47:00 PM)
~FRing it~ Ours did not start out as a love thing. So it's possible for people to do D/s without love. HOWEVER...love just happened for us over time. I don't think either of us planned on it...it just is. And in my honest opinion, it was like adding a nitrous injection system to our dynamic.

RC21 -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/24/2014 7:08:32 AM)
Yes. If I don't have that 'normal' attraction, it won't happen at all.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/24/2014 7:18:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP It's needed here. If he didn't love me, I wouldn't trust him to care about my best interests and not to act in a manner that got him what he wanted but left me in poor shape. Love came first here. I find this hard to believe, DesFIP. Based on all the things you've said of your fellow, he seems like a decent man who would not just take from another person and leave them in poor shape. You've described him as a man of morals. You really wouldn't trust him if he didn't love you? You wouldn't trust that he would not act in an ugly manner? I find it hard to believe that you are cynical to that depth about people with whom you do not share a love connection. I know that you HAVE love... but is it really a prerequisite? best, sunshine

littlewonder -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/24/2014 8:56:43 PM)
I'm not DesFip but yes, for me, love is absolutely a prerequisite and if there was not love involved I wouldn't have even taken the time to know if I trusted him without love involved. I would have moved on by now to find someone else.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/24/2014 9:51:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman Is love a necessary part of a long term D/s relationship or is the craving to dominate or be dominated enough to keep a couple a couple? For me, D/s is my comfort zone. For me, vanilla is a nightmare, I am very Dominant, but not domineering. I expect to be heard, but more importantly, I expect to be listened to carefully. I am very deliberate, and I deliberate at length and carefully over any and all decisions. Not ever would I do or ask to be done anything that isn't in the best interest of my girl(s). I wouldn't ever ask for anything to be done, that I, myself, am not willing to do. In most cases, if it is something I wouldn't want to do, I'll go do it because I wouldn't shirk something so crappy on to my girl(s). I am in this for the long haul, and the only way I can commit to a lengthy relationship is with the reward of loving my girl(s) and being loved by her/them. I've been in vanilla love before, and it works until she stops following her nature and starts following peer pressure, society pressure, family pressure, religious pressure... All those subtle ( and not so subtle) nuances that superimpose an acceptable, marketable, or misconceived persona over her very nature. I've seen the struggle over and over again in vanilla girls, and I cannot allow myself to become invested in someone who can, will, does, or will be persuaded to suppress their nature and embrace a pseudo-persona, doctrine, ego, id, whatever nomenclature you want to couple it with, because it pleases ( insert faction), regardless that it is her /s nature that has me so smitten in the first place. I'm here shopping for someone(s) to love with all the passion I have to muster... Which is a feckin LOT! I'm here for my forever, however long or short that me be, and my true guild lies in the heart of an /s(s). YMMV Exiled P.S. I hope that came across clear, if not, I apologize. I'm under a great amount of stress of late, and can't seem to ordinate my thoughts concisely as I'd like.

WorldsWorstMan -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/25/2014 2:12:43 AM)
Im sure love is a part of it, for some.. Not so much for me. Its not hard to enjoy a woman, even if you dont love her.

FieryOpal -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/25/2014 4:28:19 AM)
No, you expressed yourself beautifully. I also ordinarily don't try things that I haven't done, tested on myself, or wouldn't be prepared to do or have done on myself. quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant For me, D/s is my comfort zone. For me, vanilla is a nightmare, I am very Dominant, but not domineering. I expect to be heard, but more importantly, I expect to be listened to carefully. I am very deliberate, and I deliberate at length and carefully over any and all decisions. Not ever would I do or ask to be done anything that isn't in the best interest of my girl(s). I wouldn't ever ask for anything to be done, that I, myself, am not willing to do. In most cases, if it is something I wouldn't want to do, I'll go do it because I wouldn't shirk something so crappy on to my girl(s). I am in this for the long haul, and the only way I can commit to a lengthy relationship is with the reward of loving my girl(s) and being loved by her/them. I've been in vanilla love before, and it works until she stops following her nature and starts following peer pressure, society pressure, family pressure, religious pressure... All those subtle ( and not so subtle) nuances that superimpose an acceptable, marketable, or misconceived persona over her very nature. I've seen the struggle over and over again in vanilla girls, and I cannot allow myself to become invested in someone who can, will, does, or will be persuaded to suppress their nature and embrace a pseudo-persona, doctrine, ego, id, whatever nomenclature you want to couple it with, because it pleases ( insert faction), regardless that it is her /s nature that has me so smitten in the first place. I'm here shopping for someone(s) to love with all the passion I have to muster... Which is a feckin LOT! I'm here for my forever, however long or short that me be, and my true guild lies in the heart of an /s(s). ... Tell me, have you ever considered jumping the fence? [8D] (You might be pleasantly surprised with the Right One.)

RC21 -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/25/2014 5:16:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant I am in this for the long haul, and the only way I can commit to a lengthy relationship is with the reward of loving my girl(s) and being loved by her/them. I've been in vanilla love before, and it works until she stops following her nature and starts following peer pressure, society pressure, family pressure, religious pressure... All those subtle ( and not so subtle) nuances that superimpose an acceptable, marketable, or misconceived persona over her very nature. I've seen the struggle over and over again in vanilla girls, and I cannot allow myself to become invested in someone who can, will, does, or will be persuaded to suppress their nature and embrace a pseudo-persona, doctrine, ego, id, whatever nomenclature you want to couple it with, because it pleases ( insert faction), regardless that it is her /s nature that has me so smitten in the first place. I'm here shopping for someone(s) to love with all the passion I have to muster... Which is a feckin LOT! I'm here for my forever, however long or short that me be, and my true guild lies in the heart of an /s(s). YMMV Exiled P.S. I hope that came across clear, if not, I apologize. I'm under a great amount of stress of late, and can't seem to ordinate my thoughts concisely as I'd like. This is how I feel about it too. I've never really thought about it untill recently, and this puts it into words perfectly.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/25/2014 6:48:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal Tell me, have you ever considered jumping the fence? [8D] (You might be pleasantly surprised with the Right One.) I could explain in detail the whys and what for's, but it is a very unpleasant story. I'll give you the condensed version because I don't want to dredge demons up for me or anyone else. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "he dances to the beat of a different drummer". I'm not altogether sure mine is a drummer. I was BORN a D, not a spoiled dick, just a D. Surviving my raising was my greatest feat. It was bad, and once I sorted out the twisted BS from who I really was, I finally found ME, and I know clearly who I am. I love and adore women. They're quite special to me, and up to the point we reach the panty ritual, they're never fuck meat. I absolutely adore FemD's, the ones that are certain who they are, like LP (yep, that's me lovin on ya babe). We can enjoy each other in earnest and there is never dick measuring (forgive the analogy, but I'm sure you know what I mean). I get along best with women, I relate to them much better than I do to men. I am absolutely secure in my self and sexuality, and when I say "peon" is deadly feckin sexy, it's just a fact, I can admit it, but I have no attraction to men, just a good eye for pretty. That security allows me to become intimately aware of their relationships, be privy to it, and remain unbiased. All that said, I cannot and will not surrender control. I am one of the most mellow people you'll ever meet (shocker, I'm sure), but it is ALWAYS MY way. Vanilla has only hardened my resolve to hold absolute control over every aspect of my life, because with me, democracy is dead, long live the Tyrant. Exiled

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/25/2014 6:50:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WorldsWorstMan Im sure love is a part of it, for some.. Not so much for me. Its not hard to enjoy a woman, even if you dont love her. Not all lesbians wear Birkenstocks, but some do. Jus sayin Exiled

FieryOpal -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/25/2014 8:56:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant I could explain in detail the whys and what for's, but it is a very unpleasant story. I'll give you the condensed version because I don't want to dredge demons up for me or anyone else. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "he dances to the beat of a different drummer". I'm not altogether sure mine is a drummer. I was BORN a D, not a spoiled dick, just a D. Surviving my raising was my greatest feat. It was bad, and once I sorted out the twisted BS from who I really was, I finally found ME, and I know clearly who I am. I love and adore women. They're quite special to me, and up to the point we reach the panty ritual, they're never fuck meat. I absolutely adore FemD's, the ones that are certain who they are, like LP (yep, that's me lovin on ya babe). We can enjoy each other in earnest and there is never dick measuring (forgive the analogy, but I'm sure you know what I mean). I get along best with women, I relate to them much better than I do to men. I am absolutely secure in my self and sexuality, and when I say "peon" is deadly feckin sexy, it's just a fact, I can admit it, but I have no attraction to men, just a good eye for pretty. That security allows me to become intimately aware of their relationships, be privy to it, and remain unbiased. All that said, I cannot and will not surrender control. I am one of the most mellow people you'll ever meet (shocker, I'm sure), but it is ALWAYS MY way. Vanilla has only hardened my resolve to hold absolute control over every aspect of my life, because with me, democracy is dead, long live the Tyrant. Exiled Right back atcha for the most part, but not as much unpleasantness experienced, I don't think. (I was only pulling your leg ... over the fence, that is. [sm=whoa.gif] )

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/25/2014 9:22:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal (I was only pulling your leg ... over the fence, that is. [sm=whoa.gif] ) You know what they say about getting in bed with the devil, doncha?

WorldsWorstMan -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/26/2014 4:59:33 AM)
I didnt understand the link between lesbian footwear and enjoying women without love. Is it a point about living up to stereotypes ?.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/27/2014 6:05:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WorldsWorstMan I didnt understand the link between lesbian footwear and enjoying women without love. Is it a point about living up to stereotypes ?. I trust you are aware of where you are... a kink site. If we were to tweak the topic to "Is love part of the T/b lifestyle?" we would see a resounding "Fuck No". D/s is indicative of depth, meaning, and most important of all, TRUST. quote: WorldsWorstMan Im sure love is a part of it, for some.. Not so much for me. Its not hard to enjoy a woman, even if you dont love her. The above is Topish, and that's fine, but it's not contributing to the OP. So let's revisit the OP: Do you, WorldsWorstMan, when in a D/s dynamic, not T/b casual, become emotionally invested in your /s, or do you just accept her trust without emotional investment, and if so, how do you earn that trust? Exiled

DeineSKlavin -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/27/2014 9:51:33 PM)
For me, love is imperative. With it go trust respect. Then I can fully submit and surrender all. No love and a vital part is missing.

GoddessManko -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/27/2014 10:07:57 PM)
I always love my subs as a Domme, because they love me in return and my subs tend to be people I LIKE spending time with and being around. But for me to lay with a sub as a woman then I must absolutely love him as a man. I am pretty strict about my own self induced chastity. :) [sm=crop.gif][sm=bowdown.gif][sm=bowdown.gif][sm=bowdown.gif][sm=domme.gif]

MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (1/27/2014 10:15:14 PM)
Not all D/s involves romance. In fact for many of us long-term D/s is quite NON-sexual...and yes, it works for us. In answer to your question, I love My close vanilla friends, and I've become pretty close friends with My subs, so yes, as friends we have love for each other, just not in the romantic relationship way. quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman Is love a necessary part of a long term D/s relationship or is the craving to dominate or be dominated enough to keep a couple a couple?

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