|
NuevaVida -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/27/2014 10:39:15 PM)
|
~ Fast Reply ~
Late to the conversation but I haven't been around much. Mostly skimmed, but wanted to jot down my own thoughts.
I spent almost 20 years in a marriage in which I was not loved, and 4 years in another relationship (I called it M/s at the time) in which I was not loved. In both relationships, I loved immensely. And I was OK (or so I thought) with not being loved in return. The opportunity to give my love is what I wanted.
But there was always a longing, and a loneliness I couldn't explain. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be OK with not being loved.
I'm in a relationship now - 5 years in - in which I am loved. It is the most beautiful, secure, lovely experience of my live, to be so loved. It is also my nature to submit to the man I love as completely as I can. It would be disrespectful to both him and to myself (and to the relationship) to try to somehow use or manipulate his love for me for my own personal satisfaction or benefit. Actually, it wouldn't benefit me at all to do so, because that behavior would counter who I am.
So far he hasn't (or so I've noticed) allowed his love for me to stop him from getting exactly what he wants from me. As for D/s, M/s, O/p, XYZ. LMNOP...we're some combo of that - I don't spend a lot of energy defining it. He leads us. I do what he says. We love each other. We're stupidly happy. So, whatever the definition for that is, I guess that's what we are.
So. For us, we love. For us, love has not impaired what we have and what we want. For me, now that I've experienced what it is to be loved, I would choose nothing less than that for myself. I was quite happy being alone. Alone is better for me than a loveless relationship.
That's how things work for me. I understand others can be quite satisfied/happy/connected/fulfilled/insert great feeling of delight here, in a relationship that does not contain love (or love how I view it). Who am I to say what may or may not work for other relationships? Who is anyone?
So there's my 2 bucks worth.
|
|
|
|
