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MarcEsadrian -> RE: Have you encountered the Hesitant Dominant? (2/11/2014 6:40:22 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff
As I am continuing my journey to finding that elusive Dominant man that will be compatible with me, I have encountered something frustrating, and wanted to see if others have as well. I am guessing you know the type. Says He's is "a Dominant". However, after emails, texts and phone calls, when you meet He seems...less than Dominant. He is almost deferential. I'm not saying I don't want Chivalry. Good manners. But there seems to be a great deal of over-hesitancy. That first touch....cautious , with a look in his eyes that is almost asking permission. WTF?? You want to hold my hand? MEAN it!! Give me a first impression of your desire to lead, own, rule. Don't ASK permission like a 'nilla metrosexual guy. If I wanted that, THEY are easy to find.
Have you found this often? For me, it is a huge turn-off. Makes me dry up to a dust bowl. :(
Any opinions on WHY this brand of Dom is so hesitantly pleading with his eyes for your acquiescence?
First meetings can be tentative in some situations, and while I can't speak for others, I can say of myself that I'm not the type to reserve much by the time I'm about to meet a woman, but that's only because we've gone through a tremendous amount of dialog and every expectation on my part has been made excruciatingly clear.
My last first meeting encounter (with who is now my most recent of two I keep) happened in an airport. She was instructed on how to dress while waiting for me at the exit gate (heels, skirt, slutty top, ponytail, makeup just so) and was not allowed to speak until my dick was in her mouth later on when we got into the car. Only after choking and gagging on my erection for roughly ten minutes was she allowed to recover and greet me by voice, with eyes streaming of tears and mascara. She knew beforehand that this had symbolic significance in regard to the function of her mouth where I was concerned: her voice comes second in the hierarchy of her oral priorities. Of course.
Why am I revealing this? To demonstrate that dialog beforehand can go a long way in smoothing out these awkward and jittery first-encounters with hesitant males (or females). The scenario I recount above was about as impolite and objectifying as it comes, but there was no tension (outside of butterflies on her part) in this scenario because we had a plan and were in absolutely full accord before meeting for the first time. That's the huge advantage of meeting people online first and speaking with them over the phone for a spell before meeting.
The men who don't do this and instead meet a woman without knowing much about her are wise for being polite and cautious, I think, particularly in our current "rape culture" where male is virtually synonymous with creep and possible pedophile. That is, if due politeness and caution is what's going on there. If it's simply a man being milquetoast and not a quarter of what he represented himself as online, well then, yes...that can be disappointing for a woman, without a doubt.
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