Kana
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Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Greta75
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kana
If I want to nail her tongue to a cutting board and feed the slut her own urine I can.
Now she won't be necessarily be thrilled about it (Not many people would...but hey, if you're out there and are, drop me a line  )but she will do it.
The alternative is sayanora.
It's clear in this forum that you and Little Wonder have a very loving relationship. But has there been any challenge there is too much for her? Do you as a dom understand her and her limits and although you are acting all tough right now, do you think you manage the whole situation by understanding her real limits and making things happen that isn't "setting her up to fail" because you know where she is, and where she's willing to be?
Or do you think you're all about, let's just throw out whatever the hell I want, and so far, she's been saying yes to everything.
Also, My gut is, you know her very well, you know her limits, and little wonder obviously can take ALOT, but you love her too much to ever push her beyond where it might create a situation where, you might have to let her walk instead of compromise and drop that expectation, because she means alot to you.
If she chooses to walk one day, you think it would be so easy to just let her walk and let her go? If it is, then..., it's even more confusing exactly what it is that you feel for her? It's really just bdsm based?
In most ways your gut is right.
I'm pretty contrary by nature though, so every once in a while I get ornery and have her do shit exactly because she thinks I'd never make her do it.
But yeah, I'm a smart guy. I know what she can and can't don't. Equally important, I know what she won't do.
And vice versa.
She knows I'd never ask her to betray her morals and values, to diminish herself, sell herself as a human being.
That's simply because I'm a decent fair man.
But those other things, I'd have to evaluate (Remember that lots of what I do for a living is risk management) whether the risk was worth the reward. In other words, ask myself, "Is this important enough to me that I'm going to risk our trust, our faith and our love over it?"
If the answer is Yes, then I move ahead. If not, then I don't.
And she knows me well enough to understand that when it comes to big things, I move neither quickly nor w/o long thought. She knows I weigh these things. And because, if it was big enough, she knows that, then she operates within that knowledge framework.
As for things she won't do, hmmmm, well, after lots of twisting and moaning and groaning she went and fetched the hammer, nails and boards for the tongue thing so we know she'd do that.
But every once in a while I run across weird shit.
Like one day we were sitting on a pier at a pond. I wanted her to come sit with me. She was like nonononono and kinda freaked. The more I pushed, the paler she got.
Turned out she:
A-Didn't know how to swim.
B-Has a deathly phobia re water.
Now sitting on the edge of a pier isn't a big deal to me. Plus, I understand that we all have tripwires in our heads-I had just went sprawling over one of hers. She was all upset (because she thought I was). I was annoyed at myself.
So I apologized...because I had been the ass.
As for letting her go-I only said I would.
I didn't say anything about it not hurting...because it would. Lots. For a long time. Bad
But in the end I would emerge from the chrysalis of pain, changed, a different man for having undergone the experience, and I would move on.
What I can say for sure, cuz I've done it in the past and would do it again, is that I don't let my heart make power decisions for me. I've had people I care about deeply make decisions to leave, often what I thought rashly for small reasons and I've always let em. I've also pointed out that because that door swings one way, it doesn't necessarily mean it will swing open again to her. She's rolling the dice.
If I decide her actions are a direct challenge to my authority, it's done.
Because WTF is a power exchange if she dictates the terms?
Then we're just living a lie...and both of us are to self aware to want to do that.The personal price is to high.
Sure I like her,but I gotta wake up with me everyday and I prefer waking to a me I like and can live with.
So does she. Integrity is important to us.
Soooooo,and new people read this real real close, I'm very careful about the orders I make, lest they ensnare me as much as her...because if I give her a direct command,especially an ultimatum or a threat, I have to follow it through or I've just flushed all my authority away in one second.
Otherwise she won't trust my word,so she will slowly lose respect.Worse,the ground rules would be constantly shifting. Sometimes orders need to be followed.Sometimes not. Sometimes consequences occur.Sometimes not.And all with neither rhyme nor reason,but on a whim.
Fuck,nobody likes to function like that.
Instead, she knows if I say it, it is...and that's a good thing.
One last final comment-I know this sounds kinda harsh,but it's not nearly as tough as it sounds.Mostly because mouse is a terrific slave,partly because I'm flat out to old and lazy to micromanage-that shit gets tiresome.I'm a lot less strict than I come off and mouse has considerable leeway,so much so that I suspect hardcore protocol people would be offended.
We don't do this because it's brutal.We do it because it makes our lives simple.The less ambiguity, the less grey lines.The less grey lines,the fewer possible points of misunderstanding.
< Message edited by Kana -- 2/18/2014 7:14:36 AM >
_____________________________
"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST
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RE: Are you a Slave? - 
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